


Rey lets go

by Alle__Panda, Captain_Wolfy



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars The force Awakens (episode VII) and The Last Jedi (episode VIII)
Genre: A love story that takes place A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, AU throne room scene, And so at the end of the battle in the Throne room, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, But the truth is that the paln of Holdo works. The rebels are free to land on the surface of Crait, Canon compliant (as much as possible), Cockblock grumphy uncle Luke, F/M, Finn is a little Dumb, Finn wants to rescue Rey, First Time, Fluff, Force projections, Here there are not the Knights of Ren, Hux wants the power, It's a love story, Jealousy, Just like the title says, Keeping secrets from each other, Kylo Ren is also an asshole, Kylo Ren is an awkward virgin, Luke Skywalker is not dead, Misunderstanding, Not too slow burn, Phasma is not dead, Quoting the books, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey choose to take Kylo's hand, Rey lets go!, Rey thinks that all her friends are dead because Snoke showes her all the scene, Romance, SPOILERS of Bloodline by Claudia Gray (a star wars book), SPOILERS of Poe Dameron (the Comics), SPOILERS of The Last Jedy novelisation by Jason Fry, Sexual Tension, Soulmates, Speculations about episode IX, Stubborn space lovers, The Force Ships It, The force has her own will, Unplanned Pregnancy, Virgin Rey, in the middle of a war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-05-18 05:55:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 75,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14847044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alle__Panda/pseuds/Alle__Panda, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Wolfy/pseuds/Captain_Wolfy
Summary: AU Throne Room scene.In which Holdo stops Poe before he can handle with his plan to find the master codebraker. Finn and Rose never leave the Resistance. Hux destroys the Raddus thinking that the resistance is definitely gone. The plan of Holdo to evacuet works. Leia and the others are sent on the surface of Crait on board of the transports. Holdo heroically dies with the Raddus. Snoke showes the entire scene to Rey in the throne room in front of Kylo Ren's eyes.  She cryes, thinking that her friends are all gone.  So, when Snoke and the guards are defeated by the two of them, thinking of being left alone, Rey chose to take his hand...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Rey laisse aller le passé](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15953693) by [michelleleblond](https://archiveofourown.org/users/michelleleblond/pseuds/michelleleblond)



* * *

 

“Rey please…” he breathed “…we will bring a new order to the galaxy! The war is over. There is no need to fight anymore. I want you to join me. Please…”

His hand was outstretched towards her. His breath was ragged. His eyes deep and vulnerable. Rey's heart went faster in her chest. The fleet was nothing more than dust in the space now and there was nothing she could do about that. She lost. They won the battle for their own lives, they defeated Snoke and his guards but there was no hope for her friends. Ben was right in front of her. His face was full of different kind of emotions churning across his features. He was waiting for her answer. She didn't miss the break in his voice when he said the last of those words «Please». And he was looking at her with those eyes! They were piercing directly at her soul. His voice no more than a whisper.

His chin was trembling.

Her mind was running.

She felt broken. Her family had sold her for money. Luke had sent her away. He betrayed Ben Solo, his own blood. The Resistance was lost. She was alone. Alone without him.

The lost man who was looking at her in such a way, begging her to join him.

She took his hand.

His hand now was trembling and so she squeezed it strongly in her own to show him that it was real. She was there, with him. His eyes were shining like stars.

«You're not alone,»

«Neither are you.»

And so, neither of them had to be alone anymore. They were together now. At the same moment, as their finger touched, just like on Ahch-to, she felt that the force around them became stronger, more powerful than ever. She felt scared and anxious but also excited and draw towards him.

He felt it too. Kylo Ren took one last pace forward and closed the gap between them. When she felt his arms around her waist, she sighed, leting out the breath she wasn’t aware she was holding.

Rey could feel Ben’s warm breath on her left cheek. He hugged her so tight that Rey could also feel his heart in her ears, her head leaning upon his chest. She didn't expect so but she felt safe, warm and also wanted. They stayed like that for a while, simply hugging each other and breathing the same air. Then Kylo loosened the grasp on her and bent down to look at her face. His gaze roamed over her lips for a long moment. Rey’s face reddened but she didn't move. Her whole body was in pain because of the fight but she felt suddenly electrified.

Ben’s eyes were full of longing and hunger. He was wild, his face couldn't keep at bay the tumult of his emotions. Their faces were so near now that she could see better every inch of his skin.

The scar she gave him was fading away since the first time she saw him on Ahch-to, but still, there it was, a constant reminder of the events of the past. He had little moles everywhere and his nose was of an important size but it fitted very well in his face. His hairs were also a mess after the battle but she couldn't avoid noticing how attractive he was.

Ben Solo was not the kind of beauty she may have imagined when she was young and used to dream about her family and her future. Jakku was full of many different kinds of beings, but humans weren’t very much. She often spent the night trying to figure out how a handsome man could look like.

She was the youngest human girl at the Niima Outpost and the few human males who lived there were absolutely terrifying, she always stood apart from them.

But even with this lack of knowledge about human male, Rey was undoubtedly and definitively sure that Ben Solo had to be an attractive man. At least he was attractive to her.

“Rey,” he said and his voice was deep and made her shiver. She didn’t know what to say. When she had taken his hand she didn’t know what to expect from him.

She was just overwhelmed by the situation. To see the main ship of the Resistance under assault has been terrible. Her friends, Finn, Leia… They were all gone. She failed.

Kylo Ren maybe could have turned in the end. But she came here because she thought that Ban Solo could have made the difference for the Resistance, to win the war. And he helped her, saved her life by killing his own master. And however, everything was lost. All that remained was the First Order. No more rebels to save. But he wanted her to rule by her side He offered her the entire galaxy. Could she make something good ruling at his side? Was she even able to do something like that? She had thought her destiny was to become a Jedi. That should have been her path, a path she could have followed.

But Luke had decided it was time for the Jedi order to die, and Ben wanted the same. The past had to die, and the future she was looking for was no more possible. All of her life Rey had waited for her past to come back and even that dream now seemed just childish and foolish. She felt lost. But there they were.

The force wanted this. She and Ben had to stay together. She felt that.

Maybe there was a reason, she hoped. In all of that chaos, she was desperately trying to figure out what that reason could be. Then she saw the hunger in the eyes of Ben Solo and felt her gut tremble, her mouth went dry.

“What the hell has happened?! Ren! The Supreme Leader!!…” shouted the general Hux. He sounded horrified.

They had been so occupied staring at each other, that they didn’t even notice the sound of the elevator or the noise of his boots while he entered the room.

“The Supreme Leader is dead!” grunted Ben turning towards the redhead to face him. At the same time, his right arm was outstretched in front of him.

Hux's lower lip started to slightly tremble. He was full of rage but also fear and desperation. He was regretting his choice to come to the throne room to meet the supreme leader in person. He should have used the holo in his own quarters. But he had felt so pleased of his victory, he got bold enough to go there in person. He couldn't have imagined anything like the scene he was looking at. Ren and that scavenger, hand in hand with languid eyes and all those corpses around them.

With a handstroke, Kylo Ren made Hux’s body fly against the wall.

“The war is over! You have a new leader now!” he hissed.

“Long live the Supreme Leader!” whispered Hux breathless. There was some blood dripping down from his head.

Rey’s legs went weak.

The man who was standing in front of her turned his face in her direction.

“Let’s go, Rey, we have plenty of things to discuss”

 

Continue...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hy Everyone. Thanks for reading. If you liked my work and want more, please remember to subscribe or leave a comment. Kudos


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my grammar. I am not a native english user, so forgive me. I hope you are going to enjoy the idea. I wrote this in my language before and now I am trying to translate to allow more people to read it. I'd like to know your opinion. Kisses

The Resistance’s fleet, thanks to the sacrifice of vice Admiral Holdo, made its way on Crait.

They immediately sent a distress call all over the galaxy. Poe Dameron was in charge now, since Leia decided to forgive his stubbornness and his completely reckless behavior. Now there were more important questions to handle. For instance, Leia felt extremely sick and tired. Her body was sending her dangerous signals.

She knew she hadn’t much time left. Only a few old friends answered at the call of the last rebels. Knonnix made a deal with an allied in the outer rim.

They would start from there and then, then someone would have figured out a solution, a way to allow the Resistance’s survival. Maybe Rey would come back soon.

Maybe she had found Luke. He would bring hope to the Resistance’s members. There was just a bunch of them still alive. They were no more than three hundred people or so.

No more a fire, but a spark. They were the spark who will set the fire, who will burn the First Order to the ground! Sooner or later. In the meantime, the First Order thought them all dead. This situation would buy them some precious time. And they were not going to waste it.

………………………………………….

Luke Skywalker had definitively decided to come back to the force. He was feeling everything by now. Sitting on the bench in his hut he had just finished meditating about the dream he had the day when Rey arrived on Ahch-to.

What if he hadn't followed that path if he had chosen to become a simple farmer on Tatooine instead of becoming a Jedi? Would the Empire exist? How many lives would have been different? The lives of the whole galaxy? The rain had stopped since Rey left the island. Two pale suns were shining through the columns. And Luke felt sad and full of regrets.

Master Yoda had told him that he was right. It was time for the Jedi order to end. But Luke had felt shocked. He would not have imagined that his old master could possibly agree with him. Luke had felt almost betrayed.

Incredible but true. He had spent a big part of his life as a Jedi and now all the things he had done seemed useless, without meaning, or worse. It seemed he had made much more wrong choices than good ones, he thought with a sigh.

But he knew that the force had always had a plan. Only because he could not see or understand it, didn’t mean there wasn’t one. Rey had been sincerely convinced that Kylo Ren would have turned.

Yoda only told him that the girl was following the right path. But when Luke saw them together in the hut, his mind had become blank. He had thought Kylo was going to seduce Rey to the dark side, that he was going to fail her just like he failed Ben. But maybe Rey was stronger than both of them.

Maybe there was really hope for Ben Solo. Maybe he was wrong and she was right to try to convince Kylo Ren to turn. Maybe that was another mistake, from him, not to trust his new apprentice. Yes, she was fierce, young but also fragile.

Perhaps she needed and deserved a better guide than him, but she was also strong and capable. She deserved his trust. Luke sighed and went outside of his hut to stretch his legs. He started to scrutinize the sky above him. The suns were setting now and the landscape around him was bathed in orange and gold. The force was all around him.

It was speaking of changes, imminent and drastical changes. Suddenly a familiar shape appeared above his head and Luke held his breath. The Millennium Falcon was back! Will Ben Solo accompany her? What was he going to do now?

Was it really possible that Rey convinced him to come back to the light in just a couple of hours? Luke knew that his nephew was not going to forgive him so easily. Luke felt his fear rise together with the adrenaline. But the ramp of the ship was not lowered yet that he knew that Ben and Rey weren’t on board.

Their forces signature wasn't there.

Chewbacca came dawn growling something in his direction. And the fear hit him even more at the sight of his friend’s face. He was worried and above all, he was really alone.

“Chewie, where is Rey?” Many roars after that, his furry friend had told him what happened since the moment he left Rey in the escape pod. She never came back to the Falcon, the beacon she brought with her was silent. The fleet was gone.

Chewie was already crying very heavily when Luke started to pat a hand on his back. “They are not gone, my friend! I can feel it in the force” he explained.

“It’s a feeble, faint, very weak string, but I can feel that Leia is alive! All of them!” Luke said. Chewie growled in response.

“We must go! We have to join the Resistance and help them to survive. And maybe then we will be able to do something for Rey too!”. Another growl in agreement towards the bearded hermit.

“You are right Chewie …You are right…I am glad too that I finally came back!” And so they left for Crait.

 

Continua...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am desperately trying to mantein the characters in canon. If you please comment and tell me your opinion about the story. Thanks :)

CHAPTER THREE

 

Kylo Ren was keeping his right hand on Rey’s back. It was a smooth simple touch, like a feather, but it was enought to make her body shiver slightly. On the contrary of their previous walk towards the throne room now she was free to move. But even if she was not a prisoner anymore, she felt anyway cautious and alert.

Rey’s muscles were stiff and rigid, her head was aching while they walked their way throug the big corridors of the ship. Kylo Ren was still holding Luke’s lightsaber in his other hand, meanwhile his own red lightsaber was altrady hooked to his belt.

They were both spent. Walking through the Supremacy’s belly in complete silence, they shyly shared some glances at a time trying not to be caught by general Hux’s eyes. The red head was exactly beside them, his glowed hand busy to stretch out his collar in the attempt to look more relaxed. Kylo wanted him to stay close to them, to make sure he would have obey to his orders.

Kylo would have preferred to stay alone with Rey and supervise everything by himself, taking his head, but killing Hux all of a sudden handn’t seem a good idea. At least, not yet. To obtain the trust of the other members of the First Oder he had to be patient, not impulsive. Snoke’s death was already enough for them to take on. But it was critical to keep the ambitiuos general close at hand. Hux had eliminated a number of rivals during his rise to power – including his own father – and Kylo had no intention of joining their ranks.

With Hux beside him anyway, there was no chance of him conspiring something behind his shoulders. Furthermore Kylo Ren was going to take advantage of every opportunity to remind the general and other officers who was in charge. He had to be focused on his aim and balnced.

Rey’s left arm was bleeding and so was Hux’s head in the point where he had throwed him against the wall. His left cheek was literally bathed in red, but the general’s face was expressionless now, as if he was a wax mask.

Even if before he had seemed full of rage and fear, now he was keeping himself silent and quiet like a reprimanded young boy. Kylo didn’t expect him to be so desperate because of Snoke’s dead. Hux obviously wasn’t so affetionate at the old alien, but he hoped to obtain more power now that the resistance had been defeated. He wasn’t prepared fot this power switch, however he was smart enough to know when to stay silent and now was one of those moments.

Kylo knew that Hux was scared by their presence. Hux thought they were both really powerful, and it was true, otherwise they would not have defeated Snoke and his guards all at once. But they also were both exausted by now and anyway there were so many things left to do. Kylo knew they needed some rest, but he wanted to make sure everything was clear for their subordinate.

Rey felt so confused. She didn’t really know what to expect from that situation, so she followed Ben until he stopped in the middle of the deck’s bridge. They were standing in front of about forty people dressed in the blu and grey of their military uniform. All of them seemed too busy to do whatsoever to pay attention to them.

Until a young woman noticed their presence and in particular she seemed affected on the sight of the blood ripping across Hux’s cheek. She quickly brought to him a tissue.

“General…what happened? Are you alright?” she asked with a hint of concearn, but Hux took the tissue from her hand and remained completely silent. After a few seconds he just gazed behind his shoulder. The woman looked in Kylo’s direction and a little whimper escaped from her mouth.

The expression of his face was feral.

“Sir…what…?” “Now you are going to tell to the crew that Snoke is dead!” Kylo Ren said without any preamble, he dindìt wanto to waste any time “everything is going to change from now” he muttered speaking with a deep, low voice and gazing at the people in front of him. The general’s eyes narrowed. The woman, a lieutenant, stared at them both in disbelief for some seconds to process the enormity of that information. Then she did what Kylo Ren had requested from her.

………………………………………………..

When they finally reached for his quarters they both felt deeply exhausted. A doctor had already took care of Rey’s left arm. The wound wasn’t too deep, but unfortunately it seemed that a scar was going to remain visible. She didn’t care at all. Her friends were all dead, what was a scar in comparison? She should had have been there too, on the Raddus.

She was part of the Resistance, she thought, not the First Order. But Ben had just reminded her that she wasn’t part of anything. She came from nothing. Rey pushed one finger under the bandage to loosen the grip on her upper arm and sighed. Her eyes were swollen and red.

While Ben had been occupied talking to the officers on the deck, she took advantage to unload her emotions with sobbings and sighs. She didn’t like the idea to cry right in front of him, not anymore. But she felt so much pain at the thought of Finn, Leia and everyone else she wasn’t going to see anymore, that she couldn’t help it.

She needed to cry and so she cryed. Moreover the Supremacy was a very giant dreadnought, full of rooms, people and soldiers. She wasn’t accustomed to the life in space also. Everything there was huge and cold and colossal. If it hadn’t been for Ben’s presence, always at her side, she would have felt even more tiny and irrelevant.

But he had stayed there, giving her room to not feel to suffocate, just a few paces apart from her, and ready to jump in her direction to protect her at any moment - just like they did before in the throne room. And that feeling, that deep connection she felt with him, didn’t seem to fade despite Snoke’s previous assertion.

Maybe it was the fact they were so near to each other but Rey could feel the force singhing all around them. There was a strange tension in the air. Anyway nobody else seemed to noticed it. The officers didn’t really like her presence at all. Ben had not already explained exactly what happened in the throne room, and at least he didn’t explain anything at all.

The deep resolve in his eyes was enough to silence whatsoever curiosity their subordinates may decided to show. Anyhow they darted so many bad glances in Rey’s directions that she couldn’t help it but feeling really uncomfortable. They were looking at her in a way she didn’t like at all, just like she was dirty.

Even the doctor handn’t been much kind to her, even if Ben had requested she could have the best treatments. And last but not least, Hux’s angry gaze had never left her back for all the time. His gaze it was absolutely the worst one, full of disgust and outrage.

She had already cought Hux a couple of time while he was staring at Ben in that same way. Everytime she had shivered but she quickly had shifted her eyes towards the ceiling, pretending to not have noticed.

And now here they were, finally just the two of them. Ben had sayed to her, he would have arranged a room just for her in other circumstances. The Supremacy was plenty of free rooms, perfectly furnished but he wanted to make sure she was safe. They were both exausted and he didn’t trust anyone there. So he had asked her to sleep in his quarters, to stay close to him and she had agreed. Rey now was staring at the entrance of his bedroom, a strange sensation was forming in her gut.

A big mattress with white sheets, was positioned at the center of the room. It was large enough to consent at them both to stay confortable. She had never seen a mattress like that before. She had never been in a room of a male before.

“You should take some rest now, you must be exhausted” Kylo said entering his own room, his eyes encircled by two red bags, a big contrast to his pale skin. They both seated at the edge of his bed.

He was so close to her that Rey could feel his body heat. The smell of their sweat was filling the room. And she felt the urge to move backward.

“You too” she aswered in a whisper looking directly into his black eyes. Kylo stared back at her for a while, then he deflected his eyes looking at the lightsaber he was still holding in his hand.

“This is yours now. It’s always been yours. I’d like you to keep it at hand. I am sorry but I don’t think we are truly safe. Not yet…There are changes to do and things to disccuss before we could let our guard down” he said, his face really tired.

“Thank you Ben” she wispered in return holding her lightsaber in her heands. She looked at it for a while, not allowing herself to look at Ben’s face, too worried about what she could have may found in his eyes.

“Your welcome…”. The tension between them was growing second by second. Rey tryed to fight the impulse to reach for him and release her emotions with his harms around her waist. She really wanted to hug him, she needed his contact more than anything elese by now, but she didn’t know how to beheve. Ben’s presence was so massive, almost intossicating.

She have never been alone with a male of her same age before apart from Finn, but with him there had never been any strange tension like this one, and most important, she never had to share a bed with him. Lost in her thoughts, Rey didn’t noticed Ben moving towards the chair on the other side of the room until she realized that he didn’t meant to share his bed with her. He was giving it to her alone.

Maybe he knew she was nervous, he could feel it through the force, and so he didn’t want to bother her, he wanted her to stay comfortable. “There is no need to sleep on the chair… Your bed is big enough for two. I don’t care…” she said hoping to look casual and relaxed. Ben seemed to stiffen, his eyes were roaming on her face, searching for a sign of denial.

But Rey needed him to stay close to her. She knew it was crazy and dangerous and rushed, but pain and sorrow were going to hit her another time because she had just remembered that Finn, his only friend, was gone forever and so all the resistance member and she was guilty. Ben seemed to read in her mind, maybe he did it, because he suddenly said

“Don’t you dare think so! It was not your fault! You almost died to save them” he told her.

And so the barrier between them crushed down. That wall, made of fear, insecurity, hindrance and embarassment broken. Rey rushed towards him in the same impetuous way she had decided to go to him on board of the Supremacy. She needed him so much now and so he hugged him strongly. This time, nobody came to bother them.

Ben remained stiffen for a second, not really knowing how to react, his hearth was hammering in his chest. One of his hand entangled through her loosened hair. Rey ansered with a little whimper and a sob, her tears were already watering her cheeks, he could feel the wetness throught the fabric of his unifom, just at the high of his right shoulder. His lounges seemed empty and he breathed hard, trying to inglobe some air before even try to look for something to say.

Kylo really wanted to comfort her, to give her any kind of consolation, but he also felt overwhelmed by the situation and so he remained silent while she cryed all of her tears. Rey was glad to be with him. Having someone to share her grif was a blessing. Ben was unespectedly reassuring and calm. She really regretted to have misdjudged him the first time they met. He have never been a monster. Snoke was the one to blame, just like Luke.

And so she cryed all of her tears, for her missing friends, for Ben Solo and for all the horrible things they had to endure during their still young lives. When she finally lift her chin towards his face, Rey remained stunned at the sought of a lonely tear seeping down the face of Ben Solo.

She reached for it, to sweep it away, but he grabbed her hand and before she could even think about anything to say, he was already kissing her lips.

 

Continue...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone! If you like the story please leave me a comment or a critic. I am not a native english user and so my grammar is not perfect, but I am trying to do my best to write my story in this language. So if there is a volunteer maybe...I wuold be really glad. Thanks for reading :)

CHAPTER FOUR

 

The Millennium Falcon blew out from the sky of Ach-to.

On board of the ship, R2D2 was already beeping and swirling in contentment. Luke Skywalker was back! The barded old man was sitting in the cockpit, near to his furred friend Chuwbecca.

The ship was already navigating into hyperspace when they recieved a distress call. Chuwe opened the comunitation channel and the familiar voice of the General Leia Organa reached their ears. She was saying that all the rebels got stucked on Crait, the mineral planet they were already reaching for.

Her voice seemed so desperate, unlike Luke had ever heard her. He hoped it wasn’t too late to offer his help. When they finally arrived upon the surface of the planet, ther wasn’t any sign of the first order’s fleet in the proximity and so they landed completely unseened.

“I know they are here” Luke said “we just have to find the entrance of the cave” His old friend growled in response.

“Oh right…You have got the beacon that Rey was supposed to take with her…Wonderful!” he commented with a hint of sarcasm “I could have found them using Leia force signature, but like this, we are going to have a problem about Rey’s rescue… How could she be so naive? Why did you let her go?”

Chuwe sounded outraged after Luke’s comment. He snarled in response and gave him a loud pat on his shoulders.

“He’s even my nephew. I feel bad too about this situation. I know I failed him, but Rey…she is still so young. And that’s the reason why I was afraid Ben could have turned her to the dark side…But master Yoda said that Rey knew well what she had to do, and apparently, you tought the same…I hope you were right… But I have a bad feeling about that…” he murmured crumbling back in his seat. Chuwe growled a couple of times.

“Yes, I know she was there when Han… And anyway you both thought that she could bring him back?” Luke still sounded really shocked. Other three snarls and a growl made his back stiffen.

“What do you mean, her eyes were glowing? What did she see exactly in her vision? Did she tell you?” A really reluctant Chuwbecca tryed to reject his question shaking his head, his woolly hands busy driving away a couple of porgs from the dashboard.

“There has to be more, I know. Otherwise you had have not let her go” Luke insisted shoowing away the same porgs from his lap with the help of his cloak.

Chuwe remained silent a bit, trying to figure out how to explain to his old friend what the girl had told him before he left her on the Supremacy. When he finally spoke, Luke’s expression was astonished.

“What the…”

 

………………………………………………………..

 

Meanwhile, in the rebel base on Crait, the resistance was still waiting for the only one allied who had answered to their distress call. It was a real surprise when they finally saw the Millennium Falcon speeding through the sky, upon their heads.

Finn had felt so desperate whole the time because he couldn’t stop to think about his friend Rey. Did she succede in her mission to bring back Luke Skywalker, the legendary Jedi? To tell the truth he really couldn’t care less about this mighty Jedi. Finn just wanted so desperately to re-embrance her, tell her he was grateful for what she had done to save his life, tell her he wasn’t going to let her alone anymore.

The bright blu beacon she brought with her to enlighten her way back to the resistance was no more in his hands, since they had failed in their attempt to mutiny. Leia had wanted him to gave it her back, to deter him to do other hasty choices like that one. Finn had never felt so relieved to see that old piece of junk.

He yelled with his whole breath in the direction of the ship, shaking his arms over his head, almost jumping, too happy to stay calm and silent at the sight of his sweet Rey coming back to him.

“She’s back! Rey finally came back!” he shouted in the direction of Poe Dameron, who was still using his binoculars to inspect the sky above them with his furrowed eyebrows.

“Yes…I can recognize the Millennium Falcon, but we have to be cautious Finn. It could be a trap…Just calm down a second pal” he answered to his friend, turning his head towards Leia. The old woman semmed surpreised for his gesture. She was glad that the recent experience Poe had just had, had helped him to become much more wise. It was a good thing he had learned to think twice before taking action.

Anyway in this particular case, she felt so relieved and she was so sure about who was guiding Han’s ship, that she smiled extensively at Poe in a really reassuring way.

“I think that we don’t have to worry in this case. My brother is come back!” she said. And so both Finn and Poe rushed towards the broad open space in front of the cave where the ship had just landed. When the ramp on the back finally went down, a couple of figure were already descending on the salty surface, letting some red footprints behind them at every step. Leia’s heart was full of joy and sorrow at the same time.

His twin, his worship brother, was finally at her side, after all of those eyars. Once she had been able to sense Luke’s mind halfaway across the galaxy, if only as a faint stirring in the Force. But it had been years since she had felt that presence. When her family had been broken by betrayal, Luke’s agony and guilt had whipped the Force until it felt like a storm-wracked sea.

She had been able to feel the churn of her brother’s emotions even as he had retreated, abandoning her in her most desperate hour. Overcome by her own anger and sorrow, she had let him go, and for a time she had wanted him far away. And that’s what happened. Her sense of her brother had dwindled to an echo, then a whisper and finally nothing at all. She didn’t know how she could feel his presence one more.

But she was sure that her brother was on board of the Millennium Falcon. Rey had succeeded. She had completed her mission bringhing him back to her. That girl was a force of nature.

Leia felt really greateful with Rey. finally she could have talked to her broher. There was still hope for the galaxy and for the resistance! Rose Tico was just behind the crowed formed around the Falcon. She stood there togheter to the other resistance fighters and techs. Her eyes were roaming towards the two figures standing out at the horizon with curiosity and expectations. Her sister Paige would have loved to meet a resistance hero like Luke Skywalker.

In the poor mining world where they grew up, the Jedi were a mith, a hope, something you could have found in a legend. She didn’t believe she was just a few steps away from a living legend.

Poe Dameron seemed as much electrified as her. The only difference was that Poe knew Luke Skywakler wasn’t a figure out of myth, but a real man. Poe’s own mother, Sahara Bey, had escorted his shuttle away from the second Death Star and accompained him on a mission after its destruction.

But then Poe had grown up on Yavin 4, playing in the shade of an uneti tree his mother had been given by Skywalker himself, and which he’d hold her was a seedling of one that had grown at Coruscant’s Jedy Temple. And Poe had honed his flight skills in Yavin’s debris ring, dodging chunks of scorched and twisted Death Star plating passed over by scavengers. Still, Skywalker had all but vanished by the time Poe was an adolescent, pursuing ancient Jedi secrets amid strange stars.

And now he was back, older and much more human that he could remember but here he was in flash and blood. He was back to help them to save the Resistance. But when Luke and Chuwe were finally in plain sight, there was just one person who dind’t seem to appreacite enough his legendary presence. In fact, seeing that there wasn’t anyone else with them a part from R2D2, Finn’s smile was already vanished.

“Where’s Rey?”

 

……………………………………………..

 

On board of the Supremacy, general Hux was still confused and shocked because of the events of the last few hours. He couldn’t believe that Kylo Ren and that dirty desert whore had just killed the Supreme Leader Snoke and that also they menaged to end umpunished. How was that possible? He had worked hard, for years to achieve his position in the First Order.

He was the general and he had just defeated the rebel scums who used to call themselves “the Resistance”. He should have deserved a reward, better, a decoration, instead he was resting on his back in his narrow quarter, with a bad headache and a buise on his right temple while the cut in his forehead was probably going to leave him a scar. All because of that sorcery. Ren was not a particulry smart or tactical man.

Without that witchcraft he could have arrested him and his cunt, without any objection from anyone. But just like him, the other members of the crew were too scared to go against him. Hux had sought what the two of them were capable of.

The throne room was a carnage when he entered it. Myabe he was lucky they had already finished and surely Ren knew he was too important to kill him without a second thought. Hux also knew that Ren really hated him.

He wasn’t too wise but he wasn’t stupid either. It was just a matter of time before Ren would have choose to replace him, or worst, to save him the same treatment that Snoke had recieved. He had to act fast.

Not just for him, but for the wellbeing of the First Order. The first order was the fulfillment of what the empire had struggled to become. It had distilled and perfected its strenghts while eliminating its weaknesses.

Or al least, most of its weaknesses, Hux thought, exiting his chambers to reach for the deck and eyeing Peavey. It was right there, hux thought, peavey and his generation, they were old, their mind in the past. They had been the first one to submit to kylo ren without any objection.

Hux knew that snoke wasn’t really loved by his subordinates. Snoke had shephered the Fist Order throught its years in the galactic wilds transforming a band of imperial refugees into a weapon forged to reclaim the galaxy.

As such, he would always be remembered. Even Hux knew the future would need a different kind of leader – one able to direct the galaxy’s industries and nurture their innovations, while commanding its citizens’ rspect. Snoke wasn’t that leader. And neither was Ren.

More than anything else, Kylo Ren and that sand bitch didn’t deserve to be at the head of the First Order.

They had to die soon!

 

………………………………………………………………….

 

He didn’t knew what he was doing. He ha never kiss a girl before, never had even the chance to think about something naive like that. He had spent a big part of his life with people who had tought him that his emotions were just a distraction, a weakness, something forbidden, something dangerous.

The jedi order and even his master Snoke wanted him to be like a droid, cold and emotionless, for different reasons but that was the burden he had to bare his whole life. For once Kylo Ren felt finally free to let go his emotions.

His master was dead and so was the Resistance. His uncle would not have been more a theat anyway because he was the new leader of the entire galaxy, the most powerful man in the known regions. He owned everything by now. The girl seemed dazed, confused, but he could undertend her desperate and completely useless affection for those people she barely knew. It was her weekness. She needed to belong to someone.

He knew that she had waited for years for her family to come back on that harsh desert planet. He could comphrend her because he had felt the same rejection from his own family and he had felt the same exactly need. Kylo Ren have even not realized he was starting to cry when she reached for his cheek to sweep away the tear. He felt overwhelmed by the situation.

He was also confused and scared because, yes, now he was free, but he didn’t even know what that may mean. He had never been free in whole is life and he wasn’t even dreaming about a life without a tyrant or a captivator using him for his own purposes. And so he was glad to have Rey by his side. For once he wasn’t alone, not anymore.

They would have figure out a solution to bring a new order to the galaxy. It was time for that madness to finish.

The galaxy needed something much more effective of the old and weak Republic and something much wise and appropriate than a simple blinded tyranny. Anyway, Kylo Ren didn’t really know how to create such a world, he didn’t even know where to start, but now he was not alone. He had felt so much pain during the last years, after the betryal of his uncle and he have not realized how much longing his hearth was hidding from himself.

Until now.

Now Rey was in his arms and her beautiful eyes were closed, her lips so tender under his and Kylo had never felt more aroused and content in his whole life. He would have kissed her for all the night. He had tryed to stay back, not too near. He didn’t want to scare her, he knew she wasn’t used to body contact much more than him.

But Rey had just wanted him to stay close to her. She didn’t bother to share his bed with him, he said, so meybe she wasn’t so innocent or shy as he had tought. Actually she could have been more experienced than him in those particular matters. He knew it wasn’t strange for a scavanger to trade her body to recieve some water or food. Jakku wasn’t exactly the better planet to live a carefree life, expecially for a joung and beautiful girl like Rey.

He didn’t know why, but the simple thought of her doing such a things in exchange for food, made him feel sick. But this should have not bothered him, not now that she was here in his chambers, her attention directed towards him and him alone.

“Mmmmh Ben” she moaned on his mouth before shifting her weight backwards.

Her face was completely red by now, her cheeks flushed and her expression so shy. Suddenly he remembered the first time she had seen him shirtless. She had asked him to cover himself and he had pretended not to hear or not to care. Actually he felt really pleased to notice her modesty.

He knew he hadn’t got a wonderful angelic face, but his body, he felt much more confident with his body. In that occasion he had choose to let her look, he wanted her to feel upset and unconfortable just like he was used to feel in her bright presence.

Maybe he also wanted to be attractive to her. He didn’t really know because he had never had the occasion to talk with a girl of his age or younger like she was. The only thing Kylo Ren knew was that he felt really attracted by her.

He would have never stopped to look into those green and gloving eyes, those thin and perfect lips. Even her body was perfection.

So slim and at the same time so strong. Her rounded shapes were barely evident but she was so harmonious in her whole being, he couldn’t really care. He bowed another time towards her to capture her lips another time but Rey put one harm between them, her right palm firm on his chest in order to stop him. Kylo Ren remained still on the place.

His wild eyes were looking at her with such an intensity that she had to breath in and out a couple of time to find the strenght to speak again.

“I am sorry… It’s just…I mean…I…” she blurted. Rey felt really speechless, like never in her life.

She felt the heat on her face. Surely her cheeks were red as blood. For a second she had completely lost herself on his hot lips. Kylo Ren was right in front of her.

He had stopped to kiss her just like she asked and now was looking at her just like she had been a canteene of water after a week without drinking in journy through the desert. She could feel his hunger for her and she felt surprised not to be afraid of him. Truly, if it had not be for her strong grief for her friends, she would have felt deeply aroused because of those eyes.

But she was so tired and traumatized by the events of the Supremacy, her only will was to take some rest just like Ben had already said to her. He seemed to undestand the second she had put her arm between them.

“I am sorry…I didn’t really know what…” but he hadn’t finished yet that Rey kissed him back for the first time. Kylo Ren remained still. Just a few seconds and she was already two steps backwards, looking at him with her wide and deeply sad eyes, but her mouth was now wrinlked in a little smile.

“I am sorry, I can’t do this in this moment…But…I really want you to know that…” she spoke.

“Never mind. As I said. I can sleep on the chair…” he murmured with his deep voice, making her shiver. A deep awkward silence desceded into the room. 

Kylo Ren didn't add anything to his previous sentence, he started to look elsewhere, his hands rubbing his trousers at the high of his thighs.  

And so she moved towards the bad with a rapid pace, while he recomposed himself letting her to make room for herself. She layed out on his mattress, relaxing herself, giving her back to him.

Kylo Ren sitted on the chair on the other side of his room. His elbows set ot the table next to it. He reached for his olopad and started to switch the pages. Report after report he tryed to distract himself, glancing at a time at the girl resting on his bed, trying not to imagine her naked or begging under his body. Probably he had misjudged her.

She wasn’t the kind of girl who exchange her body not to starve. She is the kind of girl enugh smart and stubborn to survive with the miserable rations a filthy trade junker offers to her. Even if it’s nothing what he offers.

A little hint of pride and relieve maked his way on his hearth. He had to know.

That girl would be always be braver and much more stubborn than him. And he altready knew it would be impossible for him to take her away from his soul and from his mind. They were destined to be togheter. “Ben…” she whispered after a while. He turned his head in her direction.

“I can’t sleep” she said. Her mind was still thinking at the kiss the had already shared and she had tryed to ignore the masculine scent of his pillow but she really couldn’t bare

“Me neither” he answered.

 

Continua...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I'd like to know your opinion. Kisses


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5 “REY LETS GO”

 

“Ben. I can’t sleep” she said.

“Me neither…Are you in pain? Didn’t the doctor give you some analgesics?”

 "I am fine…it’s just…”

“Are you uncomfortable?” he asked with such a gentle voice that made her shiver.

“No” she suddenly replayed, while his eyes roamed over her back, her body facing the wall at the other side of the room.

“I mean, your bed is even too soft…and…well…I wasn’t planning to stay and I really think we should talk about what happened”

“I know. I just thought you were too tired to do that right now” he paused “Never mind, we can talk tomorrow about everything you want. Just take some rest, you need it”

“Okay, well’talk tomorrow then” she replied. And the room went silent once more.

 

But after a while, Rey’s voice was breaking the peace again.

 

“What are you doing? Aren’t you tired?” and so she lifted up on her elbows.

“I am” he said closing his olopad in annoyance. He sighed. “I was just looking for some reports speaking of the end of the war. Hux and the officers are already spreading the news. It’s just a matter of time since the galaxy will know about Snoke’s death”. Rey’s whole body stiffened at the simple mention of his master, her body was shaking slightly at the memory of his tortures.

“I was just controlling that Hux didn’t mess up with the entire story. I told him to maintain vague about that matter” he explained. Rey stay silent but imperceptibly nodded.

“And also there is the question of the Resistance destruction…” he explained. At that her hearth lost a beat. She was supposed to be the one helping the resistance to defeat the First Order. She miserably failed. She remained silent even this time so he continued “we won, so the whole First Order is going to celebrate the event. I’m afraid there is a whole mediatic campaign to prepare to show them who’s in charge now. The Galaxy needs to know that things are gonna change” he sighed heavily rubbing his right hand on his chin and then massaging his forehead with his fingers with some quick movements, like to sweep away a headache.

The roughness in his voice didn’t passed unnoticed to Rey. He sounded tired and upset not at all pleased or enthusiastic jut like she could have imagined he may felt about the new situation.

“We have a lot of things to handle with from now on to support our point of view” he continued swallowing after another sigh “…I am going to explain to you how does it works…You don’t have to worry. There is no need to bother you with these things right now. Sleep” and his tone didn’t admit any reply. Rey turned towards him and looked at his face with a hint of concern and just then she realized how much younger he seemed.

He was passing his hand through his hair frantically, making a mess of his head. His uniform had been teared apart in many points and his skin was sweaty. She could see the vein of his neck throbbing.

Rey knew that Kylo was no more that frightened boy who escaped from his uncle betrayal to save his life. But Just like then he was struggling not to fall apart, to maintain his mind firm and steady. He wasn’t prepared for this. She recognized herself in him. She had felt taken aback in the same way just a few hours before in the cave on Ach-to, when the answer she was looking for didn’t arrived. And also when he talked to her about her parents in the throne room.

Kylo was on the edge of a cliff by now and she had to do something to show him that she was there with him, that he wasn’t alone anymore. She knew he was feeling completely overwhelmed by the situation. In the elevator, when they talked about their visions, he told her that he was sure she would have be the one to stay at his side. Maybe he was the one to have seen the vision came into life, but then, why was he so confused and worried?

“Ben… I think you really should take some rest too” she said while his gazed raised from the floor to meet her one.

“It’s just…” he started but then he stopped as if he was afraid to say something wrong. Looking directily in his eyes, Rey stated to think that maybe he wasn’t worried at all about the situation of the First Order leadership. Maybe there was something else. And so she remembered the faces of her friends and one of them emerged in her mind with a particular hint of grief.

“Ben” she murmured “I am really sorry for your mother…I can understand…I have just lost all of my friends and the hope to find my parents alive so…”

“what? You don't even know what are you talking about” he interrupted her "this is the first time that I really feel free. It does not have anything to do with her". "Of course it has!" She insisted "you are feeling sad.. I know it!" Kylo Ren seemed taken aback by her words.

He stared at her with wild eyes and his eyebrows furrowed.

“You were crying for her, isn't it? Just a few moment ago.” She murmured now with a little shiver in her voice provoked by the sudden coolness of the room. He remained silentm “Ben... if you want to talk…”

“I really don’t want to talk about her. Never” he answered determined and all of the pain she was feeling thorugh the force started to become something else that she coulnd't really undesrtand.

“Please Ben.. talk with me. I can feel your grief through the bound...I know how are you feeling by now" and this time she was the one pleading him. "You always think you know everything about me. But if it were true, you would know that I really couldn't care less about those terrorist you still use to call friends" he shouted back "and you would also know that Snoke is not more in my head and...Anyway she was already dead when Hux shot at the fleet”.

At those words Rey felt her blood freeze in her veins. Did Snoke was affecting his mind for the whole time? She really didn't think about it until now. Looking at his face she could tell how much tired and confused he was. Probably as much as her..

“I know you didn’t like them, but she was your mother! She loved you so much and…what do you mean about that?" "Forget about Snoke. He won't be a problem anymore...forget about everyone of them!" "I can't! And you shoudn't too! Ben, tell me...Your mother..." "The General" he retorted "she had ended to be my mother a long time ago" Rey amost whimpered at that but went on with her question. "Yes?" "Did you see her dying?” Kylo Ren’s eyes became wide, he swallowed hard a couple of time before to answer at a very awake Rey by now.

“Just shut up and sleep please! It doesn’t matter how o when she died. She is dead! So keep quiet and stop making questions!” he shouted back at her with a rush of anger.

Rey couldn’t avoid to lift up from the bed and take a couple of steps in his direction.

The expression of his face was full of anguish, the exhaustion of his body palpable, but the most important emotion he was trying to hide deep in his hearth was the pain. She could sense it through their bound. So similar to the pain he had felt because of his worst sin, the murder of his father.

Suddenly a realization blew in her mind.

“Did you kill her?” she asked with weak, trembling and vanishing voice, no more than a whisper.

One hand pressed on her mouth, just in the point where his lips had brushed her own, just a moment before, an age before. The horror portrayed on Rey’s face. Kylo Ren standed up from his chair, his eyes remained locked into hers for a long moment. She could see the pain became rage on his face.

“So I am once more just a killer for you? What if I did it? Are you going to address me once more like a murderous snake, a monster? Are you going to leave Rey?” and while he was talking with a deep and serious voice, he proceeded towards her with slow but confident strides.

His black uniform was raising and lowering quickly at the high of his chest.

His breath was ragged and unsteady by now. Rey looked at him, his tricky hair, full of sweat were covering the half of his face where the scar she gave him was still healing.

His plump lips were forming a grimace full of disgust, but his tyred eyes were full of the same big, enormous pain she had already saw before. Rey immediately regretted to have led to that conclusion without thinking a bit more about it. A big grief started to spread on her chest too.

“Do you want me to leave?” she asked with a terrible sensation spreading into the pit of her stomach, her eyes glued to his.

“I never said that. So just shut your mouth and be quiet! No more complaining or protests!” he answered with his harsh voice, turning his back at her and starting to walk towards a door positioned on the left of his room.

“But you didn’t answer me. Please” she was the one to beg him this time “I just want to know what happened. I really cared for her! How did you know your mother was already dead? Are you sure? Where are you going now?”

“I told you to stop ask me any question! I’ll take a shower…I am not going anywhere, this is my place. You are the intruder here. And I’d really appreciate not to hear your annoying voice for a while” and so he closed the door behind him pushing one botton on the wall. The panel swifted slightly on the left, shuting her view of the other room.

After a few seconds the light noise of a stream of falling water started to cover the silence of the dark room. Rey sighed heavily throwing away Kylo’s damn pillow, too soft and too impregnated of his male scent. She couldn’t believe they were going through that another time but there they were again. His usual tactics –deflection and derision.

As if he was the master and she was his student, to be kept at bay and off balance by questions. But things had changed. She wasn’t the young woman he’d kidnapped on Takodana or confronted on Starkiller Base. Not anymore.

Kylo was so mercurial she couldn’t even believe it. She knew he was suffering, the force didn’t lie. She had hoped his temper towards her could change in a better and smooth way. Instead, he was still having such a bad behavior… She knew he didn’t really have such a bad nature and rude manners were due to the pain and the suffering he was feeling.

Sometimes Kylo could be unpleasant and frightening, she tought.

_But Sometimes he is the kind of man who fights against three or four enemy at the same time, so you can defeat the only one you are not able to bring down._

_Sometimes he is the kind of man who offers you the whole galaxy, his comfortable bed and choose to sleep on a chair… The kind of man who puts his lips upon yours with such a tenderness and holds you tight in his arms making you feel save like you never felt in your whole life…_

Whispered a voice in her head. What was she expecting from him after accusing him to have murdered his own mother? But what if he had murdered Leia? Could she stay near him, letting him touch her, even kiss her, if…?

 _You are such an hypocrite, told her the same voice in her head. He had already murdered Han if that was the problem, you should have not packaged yourself to go to the Supremacy in that escape pod._ _You already chose he wasn’t a monster anymore, that it wasn’t too late for him to come back to the light._

But he didn’t turn, she was the one to stay because everything went wrong. Her friends were all dead. Rey was there when Kylo throwed his saber in Han’s chest.

The Star Killer base was soaked in the darkness. For a brief moment, she had taught he was going to listen to his father. For a brief moment she had felt the light in him. But then, the darkness had raised even more and everything had gone cooler and it’s been as if the light was just an echo in their minds, like they were stucked in a nightmare.

She didn’t know how much Snoke could be powerful until that moment, when she fought against Kylo in the snow, when she was standing in front of him. His face was already slashed by Luke’s lightsaber; she had heard Snoke’s voice in her head. He had asked her to stroke the last shot. “Kill him” had said that voice. But she hadn’t listened.

All those things had happened before she could understand how much they were similar. He had suffered her same loneliness for years and on Ach-to she had finally seen the man behind the mask. If she had changed since that moment, he could have changed too, of course.

But if Luke’s error had been to assume that Ben Solo’s future was predetermined, that his choice had been made. Her error had been to assume that Kylo Ren’s choice was simple, that turning on Snoke was the same as rejecting the pull of the darkness. Maybe Ben wasn’t prepared to deal with his past. Not yet.

He wanted to bury it. He was too sensitive even just to talk about his family. He wanted to change everything but he was still bounded to his past, willing or not.

Did she really think he could have assassinated his mother? His earlier reaction could have meant everything and nothing as a clue to discover what had happened to Leia. She had to know, but maybe Ben needed some time to process the events of the last hours just like her.

And so even if Rey really wanted to know about Leia’s destiny, maybe he was too broken to talk with her about that so soon. They needed to rest.

There would have been time for that discussion. She didn’t have to rush things, she knew that. They were both broken by now. But she had thought that Ben could have become the man she saw in that vision by now, but how naïve had she been? Thinking he could change all of a sudden, just for her.

Just like in a dream. She reached out using the force, listening to the turmoil of Kylo’s emotions. She felt his regret and his sorrow, so strong she couldn’t avoid to end up swallowed in the same sensation.

She curled up in a ball, covering herself with his sheets, just to discover that even they had the same sweet and intoxicating scent of him. Even if she had wanted to go away, even if she could- she wasn’t sure she was really free and not a prisoner- where should she had to go? Jakku? Ach-to? What was her going to do right now? Rey considered quickly her options. She could have tried to escape from the Supremacy on board of an escape pod.

Maybe Chuwe was still waiting for her out there. Maybe they could have left to go away, in the outer rim, landed on a foreign planet that for sure, couldn’t be as bad and lethal as Jakku. She could have started from the beginning, find a job, settle down in one way or another. She had dealt with her loneliness for almost twenty eyars.

She was perfectly capable to deal with it for another undefined amount of time. Everything rather than to stay close to a person capable of murder both of his parents while she had struggled her entire life in the longing of them.

But you know you are lying to yourself, you are broken, whispered that same voice, her voice, the same she was trying so desperately to shut up. Some wild tears started to climb down of her cheeks for the fifth time in that day.

She felt so stupid, so powerless. For a brief moment, she had really believed she had found her place in all of that. She was wrong. ………………………………………………………..

 

The holo record that BB-8 had showed to Finn was still imprinted in his memory. Rey was standing at his side while he was unconscious, the batapad healing his injuries. Rey had greeted him with her beautiful and deeply sad eyes.

“We will meet again. I know” She had said before kissing his forehead with such a tenderness… Finn could still feel the butterflies in his stomach at the simple thought of her lips brushing his skin.

On the flat salty surface of Crait, the Resistance’s crew was silent, the only noise audible was the howl of the wind whyle the ramp of the Falcon closed behind Luke Skywalker’s back. Him and Chuwbecca were walking towards them with big strides. Nobody really knew what to say.

They were too astonished to open their mouths. The first one to break the silence was the black skinned man.

“Where’s Rey?” asked Finn with a hint of terror in his voice.

“I’am afraid it’s a long story” answered the barded old jedi sighing heavily. A big growl escaped from the throat of the Wookie at his side. Finn’s blood went cold.

“Start from the beginning!” he suddenly replayed.

“Yes, I think this is a good thought, boy” Luke said with a sad smile. And so they entered the big cavern. In that moment Leia’s eyes met his and all the grief and the pain of the past seemed to slip away. The General walked slowly near her brother, C-3PO at her right side. Even the golden droid was keeping his mouth closed.

Apparently, C-3PO’s data banks lacked guidance about the proper etiquette for greeting long-vanished masters who’d somehow conjured themselves halfway across a galaxy: For once the protocol droid chose to remain silent. His photoreceptors followed Luke as he crossed the open space to stand before his sister.

“I know what you’re going to say” Leia said. “I changed my hair” “It’s nice that way” Luke replied and then his smile faded.

“Leia…I’m sorry”

“I know. I know you are. I’m just glad you’re here now”

“Yes yes, I am glad too about your family reunion. I don’t want to bother you, but you really didn’t answered me: where’s Rey? Why she’s not here with you?” a very agitated Finn stepped in the conversation.

Poe Dameron was right next to him

“Ehi buddy, calm down, I am sure the Jedi master is going to explain to us everything. Surely she’s safe, waiting for us in the place where Luke came from, I’m right?” he asked with a hopeful smile. Luke expression went grave.

“I’am afraid it’s a bit more complicated than that”

“What do you mean?” Finn asked. His eyes wider, his breath ragged. At that point, Luke turned towards his sister for the second time “Leia…She’s really powerful. When she came to me, I couldn’t believe my eyes because of how much they were similar. For all the time they were sharing this strange bound, much more deep you could have imagined. I have never seen anything like that before”

“A bound? Whit whom? Do you mean…?” and now her expression was astonished.

“Leia…She’s gone to him. She thought he would have turned. She wanted to help you and the Resistance. It’s been all of my fault. Because I refused to help her and…I have been so much stubborn, I am ashamed about how blind I was” “You had closed yourself to the force” she whispered.

“Because of what happened with Ben” he nodded

“Who’s Ben?” but Finn’s question went ignored.

“I was wrong. For the umpteenth time. Can you forgive me?” asked the master jedi with cracked voice.

“I’ve already forgave you” his sister smiled, sweeping away a wild tear from her left cheek with the back of her hand.

“Wait…I didn’t understand a word. Why did you refuse to help Rey? And much more important: where did she go? Are there other Jedi?” Finn urged. And the General sighed heavily. Luke Skywalker’s face was full of sorrow and Chuwbecca also seemed really tired. Poe’s eyes shifted from one face to another.

Then his expression started to change from confusion to disbelief and then horror. He was one of the few members of the crew to know about Ben Solo’s past and bloodline.

A strangled noise escaped from his mouth at the same moment the realization came into his mind.

“She’s with Kylo Ren, isn’t it?”

 

……………………………………………………………………..

 

He had never been good at talking. Kylo Ren new it, and maybe it was because of this problem with words spoken out loud that he had felt so interested in the ancient art of hand writing since he was still a young boy.

The hot water started to descend on his sore muscles and the pain started to move away from his body, just like the sweat. But the tumult of his emotions couldn’t fade away. He knew he couldn’t really blame her for her earlier accusation.

He was the one holding the trigger on board of his X-fighter for those endless moments before his fellows decided to shot at the Raddus’ bridge blowing away his last connection with his old family. In that moment, he had felt his mother force signature, and he knew she had felt him too. She wanted him back with her. Even after all he had done – Even after what he had done to his father…

Kylo Ren sighed heavily feeling like a lost child, his tears blending with the drops falling from the fresher. He wasn’t able to stop the bomb. If he had could foresee it, he could have stopped it. But he had been too focused on her strong feelings for him. His mother wanted to protect him, even when he was the one to be afraid of.

And so did Rey. Or maybe he had thought so for a couple of minutes. He had been so blind. That girl didn’t really want him. She had decided to remain just because her friends were all dead, she really didn’t know where else to go.

When they talked in the elevator and after they fought against Snoke’s guards, he had thought she cared about him.

At the end of the fight, she could have let you die, whispered a voice in his head. Instead, she threw the lightsaber at you, and the pretorian guard that was going to chock your throat, went down in a blink of an eye.

And finally yet importantly, when you bent down to kiss her, she had kissed you back and also she had moaned your name in a very not too innocent way. Kylo Ren slightly blushed at the memory, covering his mouth with his hand.

He had never ever kissed a girl before. Her lips were a bit salty and not so sweet like he had imagined, but he had never felt so aroused in whole his life and the girl had seemed as pleased as he had. But suddenly he had felt her anxiety through their bound, the fear and the sorrow for her loss for a while had been his own. Her grief was so strong. It came natural to him letting her mourn them. But alike during their first talk in the interrotation room, she had taken him aback. She had tryed to scavange his tormented soul and he wasn't preparared for that. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have let her see him so weak, it was a dangerous field. Could he really trust her anyway? Something in the back of him mind was screaming now. Yes. He could trust her. The voice was incredibly clear. And it wasn't Snoke this time to suggest that to him. 

But what does he had to think about her by now? Anything went as he had imagined. Did she went there for him or just for the safety of her friends? A part of him knew it were both of the reasons and the most insecure half of him was scared she could have changed her mind, thinking he wasn’t enough, that he couldn't worth the effort, the he was still the monster she had thought the first time they met.

Kylo Ren punched the wall in front of him with an heavy stroke.

A couple of tiles went broken, hind hand started to bleed but he really couldn’t care less. His mind was racing. For the first time in his life he was really free. Snoke wasn’t a threat any more, his mind felt completely his and he knew what he wanted. The girl was stubborn but she had remained and now was laying in his bed and against any prediction they were both sill alive.

So why did he felt so upset? Because he couldn’t really bear the thought of Rey thinking he was a monster, because he hated what he had become, because he felt powerless.

Kylo Ren pressed a botton on his left and suddenly the spray of the shower stopped. He tried to recompose himself, his breath still heavy but under control. He swallowed hard and then he looked at himself on the big mirror at the other side of the room. His face was pure pain and regret. He couldn’t let her see him in those conditions.

He didn’t want to go back to her. He wasn’t prepared to answer at her questions. If only she had new, maybe they could have go back kissing each other. He needed desperately her contact, but he also didn’t want to talk about that story. At this point it was completely useless for her to know.

Actually it was dangerous even thinking about tell her those things out loud. They had just defeated Snoke but they also were still part of the First Order, the same organization that had arranged the assassination attempt towards his mother just seven years before.

The one he had blocked thanks to his prompt action. He had left Luke jedi temple just a couple of months before when he heard about the plan to kill the Senator Laia Organa during one of her morning briefing at the Hosinian Prime center. She was in the middle of her politic campaign for the election of the new chancellor.

The First Order already new she was a pain in the back, because she was struggling to convince the Senate to pay more attention at what was happening around them, and in particular she had noticed the rising of the First Order organization. Ben knew she was in pain for him, even if he had felt betrayed when he had sent him away, she was still his mother.

He couldn’t let them kill her, she needed a chance to survive. So he went there, that day, in the same place where her meeting was supposed to take place and he left her a warning. He had thought a lot about how to inform his mother about the danger she was in, without being discovered.

Finally he had decided for the best. His mother was smart and the force was always with her, helping her to interpret the signals. He had wrote an only word using some ink and a piece of paper and he had left the paper under her napkin at the table where the breakfast was going to be served. “RUN”.

He knew nobody could have noticed it a part from her. And so, hiding from that location, he had seen his mother leaping to her feet, asking to the other senator at her table to go away.

She run and so the bomb didn’t kill her and she could organize her crazy jumble of scarp individual and start her personal war against the First Order. Kylo Ren had thought many many time at that moment, especially after the day he had killed his father.

How could he be able to save one parent and doom the other one? His father had not be much present in his life, but when he was a child he literally adored him. He couldn’t really understand how could he have done that to him. Snoke had transformed him in a monster.

He really didn’t deserved to be saved, but he desperately wanted to be saved anyway. For a moment Kylo Ren hoped with all of his heart that the girl had choose to go away. Stay away from me. I am a beast. Please. You deserve someone better than me… He thought, but the other half oh himself, the selfish one, was still hoping to keep her at this side.

So when he came back to his bedroom wearing his night outfit, he breathed out all of his fears, looking at the beautiful girl curled up in his sheets, sleeping. And the weight upon his chest was finally reduced. She stayed.

 

Continua...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope this chapter didn't sound too boring. I am trying to mantain the characters in canon... and yes sit's not that simple. Butdon't worry because Rey is still with Ben and they need just a few more time to fix some things. Then the passion would be powerful :) let me know your opinion about the story. Thanks. Baci


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where our buddys talks about what happened to each other and a big revelation is made. Lot of dialogs. Let me know what do you think :)

“She’s with Kylo Ren, right?” said Poe.

“What? How’s it possible? Did he kidnapped her another time?” yelled Finn turning towards Luke.

“No” the old jedi master he sighed “she’s gone to him willingly. That’s the problem!”. Leia’s face suddenly became full of concern.

“I don’t believe you!” retorted Finn with an expression of pure horror on his face “you are a liar!” he accused.

“I’m afraid you don’t know the whole story kid” answered Luke with a deeply sad gaze. Chuwbecca growled behind him.

“Trust me. He’s right” added Poe gazing at Finn seriously “I don’t know anything about those force stuffs but you miss some pieces of the puzzle, pal” Poe prompted. But Finn didn’t seem to grasp.

“I know enough about that murderer! I was there when he killed Han…his own father!” Finn spitted out the words as if it were poison. Most of the present people started to murmur intensely to each other after his last assertion. Bud Finn was so absorbed he didn’t notice. Even when Poe looked at him with a very mindful gaze, Finn continued his talking.

“I’ve heard Han calling him his son. I still can’t believe that, but I know what I heard” Everybody around them was silent and confused by his assertion. Han Solo, the famous general of the resistance who had fought against the old empire, was also Kylo Ren’s father. The father of a monster.

The memory of his funeral was still impressed in their minds. They had to celebrate his death in a rush, busy as they were running away from D’Quar. The first order was already at their heels. All the resistance members remembered well Leia’s words when she had spoken about her life near Han. It was not a mystery that General Leia Organa and Han Solo were intimate.

But what they really didn’t know about them was the fact that they had a son, and more important, they really couldn’t have imagined that he could be him. Kylo Ren. Certainly, they didn’t expect anything like that.

“I suggest, we must continue this conversation privately” stepped in the General Organa at that point, looking at the many shocked faces of her resistance fighters all around them. “Everyone should came back to his duty. You, Dameron and Luke, please follow inside of the control room!” ordered Leia gazing at Finn tiredly.

“Good idea” replayed Poe sharing a rapid glance with Leia. The face of the general was really pale, she struggled to stand up, she had to use a walking stick, but her temper by now was determined and full of resolve.

So everyone did what she asked. But the ex stormtrooper never stopped to glare at Luke with his eyebrows furrowed, even when Poe encircled one arm around his nek and started to murmur something at his ear.

“I don’t like the idea of Rey being left with him as much as you. I’ve been in that chair at Ren’s mercy, do you remember? So I want you to know that I am by your side buddy. But you have to know that there are some secrets that should remain alike, for the resistance’s sake. In this moment we can’t really face a lack of faith in Leia” Poe said. “But, I didn’t…” Finn protested.

“More over, don’t you think that arguing with Luke Skywalker in front of the crew was a bit too much? These people are scared and confused and they are going to lose hope because of the situation. We have just lost our ships and all the X-wings. Luke’s supposed to give us hope in this sad, unlucky moment. Do you understand me now, pal?”

“Yeah, I understand” answered Finn with mortified voice “But why didn’t you tell me about that before?” he retorted.

“It’s a long story. I think it should be better that Leia explain it to you by herself just like she had done to me. I swear I was surprised a lot when I found out. My legs went weak and…”

“When did you find out?”

“That he was her son? Not too long time ago. Just when Admiral Holdo stopped us. Leia went to talk to me and she told me. And you, instead, why didn’t you tell me about that before?”

“Because I was unconscious and from the moment I woke up we didn’t have any time to talk about it…”

“You are right” Poe sighed, “The First order was right behind us. We had to hurry”

“Yeh… But you told me about our victory on Star killer base. How did we came to this situation if we won?”

“Long story. Good for another time. Now we should talk with Leia and the master Jedi. He our best hope from now”

“But did you just hear him? He refused to help her and now he’s saying that Rey went completely crazy and followed Kylo Ren willingly. It can’t be. The last time I saw him he was trying to kill us both. How could he have convinced her to join him?” Finn asked with thinly concealed rage.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s about the force, maybe she was in a mission…” Poe answered, his face tired but focused on the topic “but you have to stay quiet Finn. We still don’t know the entire story and…”

“For sure it’s the force!” Rose Tico stepped in the conversation startling them both with her tiny palm pressed on Finn’s back “she’s gone to Luke to become a jedi. I heard a lot of story about the jedi order. For example, did you know that they can read in your mind? Or that it was forbid for the jedi to have a mate? Probably by now she would have learned a lot of things about the force, anyway”

“Rey, the force? it’s not like that” Finn replayed with an incredulous smile.

“Her mission was to find Luke, not to become a Jedi…She’s normal, just like us…I mean…She’s really good at fighting but she’s not like Kylo Ren, not at all. I saw him in action when I was a stormstrooper. She’s not like him!” and his tone was resentful.

“Kylo Ren is not a jedi. He’s a Sith. Don’t you know there is a difference?” she asked. Finn’s uncertain expression let her aware of the fact that he had no idea of what she was talking about.

“No. What’s a stih? Is there any difference?” and meanwhile Poe was listening too.

“Of course there is! The sith use their power for bad, evil purposes, they live in the darkness and they kill without a single thought, just like Kylo Ren. Instead the jedi are supposed to defend and protect the other people and they live in the light”

“I really don’t know what does that mean at all…But I am certain that Rey is not going to become anything of those things you just mentioned” Finn stated.

“Are you sure? I thought that she went there to become a jedi. They have a really complex training. The life of the jedi must be wonderful, so exciting. How do you know what she could have learned to do by now? Maybe your friend is already changed. When you’ll met her she will be different” suggested Rose.

“No, you are ridiculous thinking these things” answered Finn. Rey would always be Rey. He was sure of it, and a little annoyed of Rose’s failure to see that. Rose looked skeptically at him before returning to the end of the line, letting him and Poe free to gaze at each other faces.

“I really don’t understand this thing of the force!” Finn sighed exasperated.

“Yeah, me too. But I think she could have got a point” Poe affirmed, his eyes even much thoughtful than before.

“What do you mean Poe?”. Some seconds passed before the resistance pilot decided to answer at a very unsettled and anxious Finn.

“What if Rey had turned to the dark side?” he exhaled in a blurt. Finn expression for a moment went blank.

“What?” he suddenly yelled back “are you crazy? I was just explaining to Rose that Rey is not involved in those things”

“Maybe she is and we should really talk with Luke about that” Poe retorted.

“I don’t trust this Jedi!” and now Finn was glaring at Poe with the same frown he had addressed at Luke just a moment before. Poe sighed heavily.

“Okay buddy, calm down. Don’t you think you should listen to him before pull out a conclusion in a rush of anger?” Poe asked staring directly into his eyes.

“I am not angry” Finn replied, but it was obvious it was a lie.

“I see, this girl seems very important for you. I have never fell in love before, so I can’t really understand but you…”

“Wait a minute! Who’d said I am in love with Rey? She’s just a friend! A good friend!” Finn exclaimed but his face reddened noticeably and a sudden heat found his cheeks. Poe didn’t seem to take the bite.

“Okay, maybe you are also confused about your feeling for her. But, there is nothing wrong about love, buddy, you should know. Moreover Luke Skywalker was a real hero of the resistance, I grew up with the story about him and so you should show to him more respect!” he blamed.

And then their brief but intense conversation stopped because they finally arrived in the control room of the mine, and Leia Organa and his long lost brother asked them to shout the door behind them. The small room was now occupied by a Wookie, an old lady, a golden droid with a red arm, a barded former master jedi, a young engineer, an ex stormtrooper and the best pilot of the resistance. The other resistance members were not allowed to witness at their private reunion.

Leia had requested them to leave. Even Konnix and the noncommissioned officers had to stay out. Maybe they were just pretending not to have heard, but the previous give and take between Finn and Luke was still there in their minds.

When all the presents had settled in, Leia finally turned towards them all and started to speak.

“Let’s have a talk” she said with a sad smile. She knew the entire matter was going to bring her more pain than she could have bear, but she also knew that the time was come.

“As you already now” she started “me and Han were not the best example of what a loving couple should be. We argued very frequently and he was often far away on board of his beloved ship while I was busy to follow the developments of the New Repubblic and the Senate. But we loved each other, so much” she sighed sitting on an old chair full of dust, her forehead furrowed for the pain of her body but also of her mind. Those memory were like a knife in her back by now, but she had to be strong.

“But how could it be that Kylo Ren is your son? How did it happened? I mean…You fought your whole life for the Republic. Shouldn't he be a resistance fighter by now? Why is he with the first order?” Finn asked with bewilderment in his voice.

And so Leia looked at her brother with her sad eyes. Luke took a couple of strides towards her and he knelt to press his flash hand on her shoulder. Leia lifted her right hand and squeezed it, her face showing a sad smile.

“I think I am the one who should answer here…” he murmured with bitterness.

“Let’s start from the beginning”

………………………………………………..

 

When she woke up her head was still aching but not quite as she had expected. The pills she had taken should have worked for good. A part from a general sensation of confusion, Rey sat up on the mattress and felt her body much more relaxed and rested that she could have imagined.

She turned her head around the room just to discover she was alone. No noises a part from her own breath or the deep buzz of the ship. The last thing she remembered was the soft sound of the water coming down from the refresher in the room nearby where Ben was having a shower. Then she should have fallen asleep.

Ben, who had been so kind with her and kissed her on the mouth. Ben that maybe had also murdered his own mother. This last thought jolted her like a thunder in a sunny day. Suddenly she remembered about her conversation with him, and she also remembered of Finn and Poe and everyone else who died just a few hours before.

A couple of tears started to form in her eyes but Rey fought to stay up and not permit at her grief to winner her over. She inhaled deeply for three times and then she breathed out until she felt again balanced. Then Rey glanced quickly towards the other side of the bed just to discover that it was perfectly made.

He didn’t sleep near her. The pillow she had thrown across the room was still on the floor, but on the table, near the chair he probably used to rest, there was a big glass of water and a dish full of what, about the smell, seemed a delicious and incredibly tempting amount of food. Her belly growled in response. The sense of guilt caught her for the second time.

How could she be so selfish? Thinking about food when her only friends were just dead? But the instinct of the scavenger took the better of her. Food had never been merely a pleasure for her. Food was something capable to take you alive. You could never be sure about when you will be able to find another edible thing on Jakku.

You should eat meanwhile there was the occasion to put something in your mouth. Nothing more than that. And Rey new one thing. She didn’t crave to die. She wanted to live even if she didn’t really know what path she was going to follow from now on.

Her survival instinct was still stronger than her fears. She was still hoping that Kylo Ren could listen to her, making something good of his power to restore the peace to the galaxy.

The burden of her lost friend would have remained forever on her shoulder, her biggest failure. But she could have gone on, doing something good with what she had in her hands, even if the only thing she had was herself and a single ancient lightsaber.

Rey was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even noticed the presence of the round droid until he beeped at her with all of his strength. When she turned towards him, she found an upset BB unite, pretty similar to BB-8, colored in black and silver, staring at her annoyed.

“Who are you?” she naturally asked. The droid made some metallic sounds and other beeps.

“BB-9. How much did I slept?” Other metallic sounds ad a beep.

“Where is Ben?"

 

Continua...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! It's really hard to stay in canon with the characters. Let me know what do you think about the "Kylo Ren real bloodline and identity" topic. Leave me a comment.  
> Did you like the dialogs? Did you find them in canon or not? I quoted the book here and there (some few lines) even in the previous chapters. Just let me know. Thanks. And sorry for the grammar as always. If you like you can find me on Tumblr: Allepandareylo


	7. Chapter 7

Kylo Ren pressed his index on the button of the elevator and finally headed towards his private quarters, alone. The meeting in the holo room had been more stressful than he had imagined.

Three hours of negotiations and reassurance. All those delegates were staring at him as if he was a stupid kid stuttering nonsense, instead of their new ruler.

Their holo shapes floating in front of him had stared at him with inquiring and suspicious gazes for all the time. Everyone had his own requests, everyone had his own dubt or suggestions. Kylo Ren was sure they would have never been so bold in front of Snoke. He had to show them he wasn’t less strong or threatening.

He was the one supposed to rule the galaxy by now, not a bunch of rich, ignorant gamblers like them. Otherwise, there would have not be any difference from stay under the lead of the old republic.

“The Resistance is doomed” Kylo Ren had explained for the third time at the stubborn aliens in front of him “the First Order is the new legitimate faction in charge form now. We are the only one power left who possess enough means and foresight to guide above the known regions”.

All the officers around him were silent, their bodies, in their clean uniforms were stiffen and in attention. Only general Hux seemed less neat than usual. He had got a rebel lock of red hair scattered upon his forehead, just beside the cut.

His eyes were pure ice.

“So, new Supreme leader” attempted an old salamander dressed in a white suite, a red ruby adorning his nek “how many fighters do you need for your next conquest? A hundred? And shall I suggest you to install the new detector of…” . The alien also had a pair of monocles, one for each eye, bounded together by a golden chain, a sharp little beard and a silver metallic pipe in his mouth. He was one of the most skeptical about Ren’s assignment.

“Didn’t I explained myself? The war is over. Why should I buy other weapons from you? Let alone the fact that the factories of the First Order are working day and night to build our supply for the Supremacy. There is even an extra production of useless instruments… I am going to cut this provision starting from now” Kylo Ren burked in his direction with a steady voice.

“So, I am afraid that our partnership is over. I have no interest in trading with you” he had explained.

“Ren…What are you doing? These are Snoke’s best investors. What are you planning to do from now on without their money?” Hux had said in a low voice that had seemed a sort of rattle of a snake. Then Kylo had looked in Hux’s direction with a murderous gaze. The pasty general didn’t really seem to understand he had to keep his mouth shut in his presence if not asked. So in response, Ren had ignored his question.

“We have a new policy about the way of ruling the galaxy. I am not Snoke. Everything is going to change, so you can invest your possessions in whatever you like, but we have finished”.

“We? If you refer to the First Order organization, I represent the army and I totally disagree with this madness…” this time Hux had spoken aloud. Another glance from Ren and Hux instantly knew he had to stop his speech.

“Are you sure Supreme Leader? You really think you don’t need us anymore?” had retorted the salamander with an insulted voice “your general is wise. You should keep an iron grip on the galaxy, to show how magnificent you…”

“I am sure” Kylo Ren had cut him off “so please, stop bother me with your requests. I said it’s over!” he had repeated. And so, after his last statement, after a couple of incredulous exchange of glances between the aliens in front of him, all of the holos had gone off without any more protest and Kylo Ren had let out a huge gasp.

General Hux’s skin from now was as red as his hair, his nostrils dilated and his jaw tighten, either to not blowing up, not to address Ren with a countless number of insults.

“Is there something wrong general? Are you criticizing my choice as Supreme Leader?” Ren had asked with a hint of anger in his voice. Hux’s forehead had been drenched in his sweat.

“I was just saying that as the general of the First Order, you should have discuss with me your plans about my army before this meeting” he had hissed.

“As Supreme Leader I am not supposed to discuss anything with you. Just follow my lead and stay at your place general” Kylo Ren had barked in response, dismissing all the other officers and moving across the room towards the corridor.

As if to deal with those traders wasn’t enough, general Hux’s behavior towards him wasn’t helping at all, Ren thought entering the turblolift. Hux was the one good at speech. Kylo Ren in comparison seemed a trained monkey and Hux knew this, in fact he had never lost the occasion to contradict him in front of the others.

He hated how easily the red head could gain the attention of the all audience on himself. Even when he was struggling to keep the reins of the speech. Of course, Kylo had the power to force chock Hux’s throat with a simple thought, he had to keep up the appearances, he had to show to the entire galaxy who was in charge, but inside he was screaming in frustration.

Since that morning, he had already stopped that quick disrespectful tongue for almost a couple of time at the presence of Admiral Pavey and the other officers, just to show them who they have to pay attention to. The first order was a machine, a massive machine.

And just like every machine in the world, it needed to be oiled to work well. Snoke’s financier wanted to be reassured that their investments wouldn’t go wasted by the foolish temper of a kid. But the suddenly realization that he didn’t need their financial support, not really, not anymore, had helped him deciding to dismiss them once and for all.

They could have moved on for almost a decade with all the supply they still have at hand. And Kylo knew he had to be wise having general Hux at the head of the military squadron.

The last thing he needed was a new huge amount of weapons that Hux could have used against his advice. Until Kylo would have be able to replace Hux with another general of his trust, he knew it was for the better that he had to refuse other military supplies.

And so the turbolift’s doors were almost closed when Hux stepped in with a catlike gesture. Ren snorted but he remained still, not wanting to look at him. His eyes gazing at the ceiling.

“What?” he asked with a rough voice, still not turning towards him.

“Supreme Leader, I insist we need to have a talk” Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “I just sayed you are not the one who can tell me what to do”

“I see…” indulged Hux trying to contain his own frustration “but I think it’s important to discuss about this right now, so there won’t be any misunderstanding in the future” he explained. Kylo gave him a rapid glance over his shoulders. His hearth skipped a beat. He had a bad feeling about that.

Ren’s gaze startled Hux but the red head general’s face remained impassible. Ren stayed silent but his attention now was focused on him.

“So…What about the girl?” Hux finally asked starting to loosen his collar with his gloved hand in a nervous gesture. Without his mask Hux could easily read the turmoil of Ren’s emotions on his face, so Kylo decided to keep giving the sight of his shoulders to him.

“I mean…How shall we act towards her? Is she a prisoner? A source of some sort of informations?” he paused for a while and then his voice changed in a suggestive tone “…a toy you use to satisfy your basic needs? What’s she Ren?” Hux finally spitted out with very little grace.

The disgust clearly emerging from his voice. Kylo Ren should have expected that question, sooner or later because he hadn’t really told anything to anyone about Rey’s presence on the Supremacy. He knew they had noticed his choice to bring her to his private quarters. But of course, nobody had had the courage to investigate further. Until now.

And unfortunately, the same Kylo wasn’t really sure about the answer to that question by now. His head was still hurting and the fact that he didn’t slept at all was not helpful either. He had left Rey in his bed, still asleep, after a night of insomnia, unsure about how to approach her after their last argument.

He had spent the whole night watching the girl in his bed. Safeguarded her rest, while his eyes had roamed upon her beautiful features. Her disheveled brown hair, her little perfect nose, her parted and really tempting lips, that now, he new were even so soft as velvet.

He was so grateful that she had stayed and also so shaken from their previous discussion about his mother. Kylo was sure she was going to ask him once more about her death and he didn’t felt prepared yet to answer.

Was she angry at him? Of course she was, but what should have he done? She was so stubborn and idealist. Kylo was sure that even if he had sayed the truth, she wouldn’t have believed at him.

Kylo had not pressed the button of the trigger and anyway the main bridge of the Raddus blew away under the attack of his squadron. Why did he even told her about the death of his mother? She thought that she was dead together with the other rebels scum. Why did he was so stupid to tell her? Kylo Ren sighed heavily passing his right hand through his hair. He knew why. His soul was yearning for her forgiveness.

He really couldn’t lie to Rey. He wanted to be freed of his pain and she was the one who could gave release his poor tormented hearth. So he had decided to buy some time letting her sleep and regain her energy while he would have faced the first issue of being in charge at the head of a military party. A hiss of the elevator brought Kylo back to reality.

“For you I am Supreme Leader! And I recommend you stopping immediately to address her like she was a whore. You are not in the position to judge! And more important, you know nothing about her!”

“I remember she is strong with the force…I was the one to rescue you on Star killer base when she defeated you, letting your wounded body scattered on the snow”

“So, you have a problem with her or with the force in general?” asked Ren with his bare teeth. Hux became even much paler.

“It’s not like that. But I thought you were going to kill her to take your revenge on her. So I admit I felt surprised about the turn of the events…I really didn’t expect you being fooled by a skinny girl from nowhere. She even didn’t seem to have any tits and if I were you, I would pay attention to use some precautions, in order to avoid disease…The Niima outpust on Jakku is famous for his great range of races. Sure she had leyed down with a considerable amount of male from all the kinds”

“I thought I already told you stopping to address her in that way! It’s not what she is for me!”

“So what’s she? Tell me, or have I to assume that her sorcery is controlling your actions?” “Don’t be stupid Hux! You don’t understand a thing about the force. And anyway I risk much more to get sick breathing your same air rather than spending my time in her bright presence”

“Bright presence? Ren, don’t tell me you have feelings for her?” Hux’s faces grimaced in disbelief “Is that so? Did you really get mad? So I am right, she is the one affecting your brain. Do you even realize what you have just done in the holo room? Do you have any idea about how many credits are we going to lose because of your foolish, childish crush for that desert cunt? At least I hope you already fucked her”

……………………………………………………

 

Meanwhile Rey was still talking with BB-9. Suddenly she felt a big wave of rage hitting her across her bound. So strong that she had to sit down for a while to calm her pounding, racing hearth. When the doors of the turbolift flew opened, Kylo Ren went out in a second, still giving his back at the insolent general.

After few steps, Kylo stopped to glance down towards his boots.

A big red spot was covering the tip of the left one. He sighed heavily, kneeling to clean it with a rapid gesture, then he shacked his right hand in the air, a grimace of complaint forming on his face. It had been a while since he had punched someone with his bare hands.

But he had to admit to itself, the sensation he was feeling, apart from the ache of his knuckles, was absolutely satisfying.

Then Kylo reached for the corridor on the left and with some big stride he finally arrived to his quarters. While a very stunned general Hux was still stuck in the elevator, fighting to contain the stream of blood exiting from his broken nose.

……………………………………………………..

 

A very stunned Finn was standing in the middle of the room inside of the mine of Crait. His face was blank with shock.

Nex to him, Poe Dameron was wearing the same dismayed expression. The hero of his childhood had just admitted to have attempted at the life of his own nephew while he was asleep. Rose Tico was patting a hand on Finn’s shoulders as a sign of reassurance. Finn was feeling like the whole world had went upside down.

Kylo Ren, who was supposed to be a monster, now seemed to be no more than a lost boy, meanwhile, the great resistance hero, master of the jedi, seem to be a normal human being, with all his weaknesses and his own sins.

A shiver of fear caught the former storm strooper. Luke had also told him that his Rey was a powerful force user. So powerful to scary the old master as much as Kylo Ren had done before.

“So…How do we know that she’s safe?” Finn finally asked. “I mean…You were scared by Ben Solo’s power, and you tried to murder him… What did you do to Rey?” and Finn’s voice didn’t admit any misunderstanding. He had just express an accuse. A growled break the silence of the room.

Chuwbecca really seemed annoyed by Finn’s attitude. The young man had already learned to communicate with him in a really basic way, and so he understood some of his roars.

“What? Are you sure?” he asked in response “can you repeat please?” And so Chuwbecca growled other several times, reporting the words that Rey had told him to tell him before she left on the escape pod.

At that point, the former stormtrooper fell down on his knees in the salty dust of the mine.

“What did he just said?” asked Rose with irrepressible curiosity.

“It can’t be” breathed quietly Finn while his eyes started to fill with tears.

“Do you believe me, now?” finally asked Luke Skywalker with a deeply concerned expression.

Leia Organa felt her heart aching painfully in the same moment she realized that the young girl had fallen in love with his son. The was still hope for him, just like Luke had already told them speaking of what had happened on Ach-to.

Her lungs suddenly felt empty, her head heavy. Poe Dameron was there in a while, helping her not to crush on the floor beating her head on the ground. C3PO was waving his arms upon his head, stuttering like he never did in his whole live

“We need a medical droid! Immediately! The Princess needs assistance…Please help!” he yelled.

“We don’t have any unit left…It’s just you, BB and Artoo!” Poe replied with a hint of fear in his voice.

And C3PO started to move his limbs even much frantically in agitation. Luke Skywalker was suddenly at Poe’s side.

 

“Leia!”

 

Continua...


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here we are with our Space Virgins! Full of regrets and fears... and so eager to discover each other. I am trying to mantain the characters in canon, but it's not that simple so, tell me your opinion. I wish you a good reading :)

 “Cocky bastard!” blurted Kylo Ren in a hiss of pure anger entering his private quarters, his right hand still in pain for the previous crash on Hux’s face. He would have punched him another several times if he hadn’t felt so tired about the whole thing. Ruling the galaxy didn’t seem so attractive now that his mind was busy thinking about other questions. 

And that stupid Hux had just got the point of his biggest preoccupation. Rey. What should he had to do with her? He didn’t really know by now. Kylo passed over the little diningroom and the entrance of his private jim. And finally he reached for his bedroom. He stood in front of the automatic door for a while to calm his temper, his eyes boring into the security control panel. He was breathing hard for the tension. The last thing he wanted was to scare her or to appear angry. He needed to stay calm to handle all of that with his right mind and not caught by rage. He also had to take the courage and talk with the girl about his feelings, but he really didn't know how to do that.

It never occurred to him that she could not understand his proposition properly. Even if they had shared a kiss just a few hours ago, the situation after the mention of his mother’s death was gone backward. He had to be sure she was still aware of her new status before telling anyone like Hux. She had stayed for the night, but it was also true that she was really tired and shocked for the events of the last hours. Kylo still couldn’t believe that she truly wanted to stay with him. 

Across their bound, he had felt her emotions, the rightness of their proximity, but after a whole life of loneliness and abandonment, he still couldn’t allow himself to hope, not util he was really sure of her choice. So, for the second time in a few hours, Kylo Ren knew what he had to do. His resolve and his determination were filling his mind. He was going to ask her to be his. She had to know that he couldn’t really bare another minute without her at his side, without his mouth pressed against hers. The force wanted this and he had already give her everything he had. But his preoccupation by now was overwhelming. 

He didn’t really know how to pleasure a woman. He had had just a few occasions in his life to hear someone talking about sex, and it had never been so clear to him how does it worked for females. Of course he had read some books of human anatomy, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t the same as a practical knowledge of the subject. And anyway, even if the few things he had learned were true, he had never really known what to do with those informations, until now. Kylo also remembered something about some holos that he had found on board of the Falcon when he was a child. 

They were really dirty and with explicit contents, and a that time he was just twelve and the main characters of those holos weren’t even humans... So, he couldn’t rely on those memories. That holos had left him with more questions than answers. Kylo Ren sighed in frustration and entered his bed room with the sensation of having some cold ice into his gut. He was already thinking about sex, when she probably didn’t even want to look at him anymore. What if she was going to refuse him? He really didn’t want to think about that by now. He had to stay calm and focused. 

He breathed in and out another couple of times, forcing his mind to remember the teaching of master Luke during his meditation training as a jedi, blaming himself to be so weak. It didn’t help. Kylo could feel his hearth blowing in his sternum, his palms full of sweat just like his forehead. He wasn’t so tense even in front of all of those stupid galactic delegates. Because she was much more important. She was the most important thing she had, the only one. She was everything to him by now. He really could not lose her. And so yes, the new supreme leader didn’t know how to behave in front of a young girl. 

He didn’t know what to do to be attractive, to seduce her. After a life of battles and betrayals, trusting someone at the point to show her his true self, seemed truly overwhelming for him, even if they were sharing that bound. So when Kylo found her almost naked with her hair still dropping some water on the floor of his bedroom, his mind went completely blank. “Kriff!” he exclaimed without even think. His black eyes wide. He had to force himself to look away from her perfect round forms before he could give her another reason to be mad at him. 

“What are you doing? Didn’t you know there is a program to dry yourself in the fresher?” he yelled at her in disbelief, covering his sight with his left hand near his temple. His voice huskier and much rough than he had intended. She immediately rise her head in his direction, completely taken aback. “Bad timing…You really should have knocked before to enter! And anyway I didn't know it was possible. If you rise on a desert planet you really don't need a dryier” she told him in a harsh voice, using a towel to cover her body not caring anymore about the drops of water falling from her hair. 

Her cheeks were as red as blood and so were his by now. He had caught her in the middle of her ministration to dry her hair with the help of a towel, so she had her hands upon her head stroking the brown locks. Her body was bent forward to help her to reach the very back of her neck. And before she could reach for the towel, Kylo had just caught a glimpse of her most intimate place. Kylo swallowed hard a couple of times; meanwhile Rey instinctually braced herself with her own arms. 

The towel was barely covering her chest and her hips. He could still had a perfect sight of her round thighs and the upper part of her breasts. “Please… turn to that side…” she asked desperately embarrassed. He obeyed, with a big effort of will. “Sorry” he blurted “but this is my room, I am not supposed to ask for permission when I came here” . And his tone sounded really annoyed, but instead he was desperately trying to hid his nervousness with his usual aggressive manners. In fact, Rey seemed not to appreciate his boldness. 

“Yeah… I noticed how much you are used to share things” she retorted sarcastically, talking about his choice to not to share his bed with her. “I really didn’t realize to be such a bother for you. I thought you want me to stay…but...” she finally said, her eyes watering with tears, her voice cracking “…even if you think I am just an intruder…this doesn’t allow you to behave as if I was not here”. Her words went straight to his hearth and Kylo Ren realized soon his big mistake. She was so delicate by now. She was broken, in front of him, sharing his own fear to be rejected or abandoned. Ren’s gaze was still on her. 

She suddenly noticed it and so she blushed even more. “Could you turn towards the wall, please… As you see I am not presentable at the moment” she whimpered with a very acute voice, throwing a lock of hair away from her eyes, with a gesture full of anxiety and embarrassment. Her eyes looking away from him. Kylo Ren hesitated just a couple of seconds, lingering his gaze upon her beautiful features for just the time to take a deep breath.

When she finally turned towards him, she could see his massive shoulders instead of his chest, just in front of her. At that point Rey seemed to relax just a bit, but the girl was still holding the towel with both her arms crossed upon her chest. Her small breasts were still visible, by now, over the fabric. She was sure that he had just take a look in that direction when her body was still completely naked. How much did he see? Rey could swear to have noticed his gaze lingering at the high of her hips for a long moment. The only thought was enough to make her feel deeply vulnerable in front of him. 

“I just thought I could use the fresher” she explained then “your droid told me that the door was closed and I have to wait here for you to come back… You gone away without a word and so I thought I could…” she panted, wordless, breathless, with shaking hands, grabbing the towel as if it were a shield to defend her naked body from something much more dangerous than the eyes of man. Because she was feeling it. That strong pull of the force in his direction. 

There was a voice in her head. His voice. You are still holding on. Let go. And Rey knew that it was true. How many time she had spent lying to herself? About her parents, about her feelings… Maybe the time to let go was finally come… But how? She didn’t really know hot to behave by now. He was so nervous, more than her, and also there was the question of his mother lingering between them. “That’s fine you used it…It’s just, I didn’t expect... You know…” he rigidly answered mimicking her same nervousness. Yes. He was definitively as nervous as her. 

The both know. There was that feeling in the force, it was so clear and scary… And Rey had never wanted anything more in her life than give in to that feeling. An awkward silence dropped in the room. “I would have got dressed sooner” she said “but that noisy ball had brought away all of my cloths. He leaved me here with just this towel” she continued after a couple of embarrassing gazes in his direction. Kylo Ren didn’t answered but he took in a deep breath. He seemed really tired. She had noticed that the bags under his eyes hadn’t faded already, sign that he had really spent the whole night awake. 

“I really didn’t planned to let you to see me like this” she added after a while because he was still silent. She felt mortified about his complaining. The previous day she had really thought that he was somehow interested in her. Her vision had been so clear. She had seen something like that, the two of them holding ach other in a primal dance full of kisses, saliva and noises. 

It had seemed so real, so right. But maybe she was just dreaming, maybe that was just an illusion made up by Snoke. Probably her loneliness had affected her brain and the force was just talking about some sort of partnership between them…She was so stupid! So naïve! But she had let her need took advantage of her for the last time! He really didn’t think about her in that way… Was he? Even if, those eyes… Why was he looking at her in that way if he considered her just a bother? “I…” he finally started but he didn’t knew what to say. Obvious that she didn’t want to be naked in front of him, he thought. She didn’t really want him. 

And probably she has remained just because she didn’t have another place to go. And of course she was still mad at him and she was already regretting the kiss they had just shared, judging by the accusation in her tone when she had retorted about the “intruder” matter. Why did he had to say such a thing to her? He didn’t really want to make her feel unwanted, but the whole situation had got so hot and tempting that his brain had went completely off. Kylo’s mouth was dry and his head empty. All his attention captured by the marvelous creature that was standing in the middle of his bedroom. 

The one where he used to spent his hours, alone. What did she expect from him? Didn’t she realize how much attractive she was to him? The glimpse he had caught of her core, was still marked behind his eyelids.

Those brown curls in her intimate regions had seem so tempting he could have stared at her in eternity, drinking in her sight. Kylo Ren wished he could have looked at her the for more than just a few seconds. His head still looking at the door of his room unconfortably. “So…Am I not free to leave? Are you going to keep me like a prisoner?” she asked, so suddenly that he felt taken aback. He felt the instinct to turn towards her, but he suddenly stop, choosing to stay still not to make her upset.

“Of course not…” he said with a hint of irritation in his voice “do you want to leave? Have you change your mind?” he asked her, trying to hide the pain that was already rising in his hearth at the simple thought of her leaving him. the rage just a step behind. 

“I don’t know…” she answered with a deep sigh, her eyes looking away from his wide shoulders. “I mean… I feel like there is something right about me and you to stay together” she explained quietly and Kylo’s hearth lost a beat “but I also know we shouldn’t be here…I came to you thinking that…” 

“It doesn’t matter anymore. They are all dead now. So…let the past die…Let it go…Please” and so he turned towards her because he really needed to look into her eyes. He didn’t found what he had expected. She wasn’t angry, but she was in pain. 

And so Kylo Ren felt the urge to ask her forgiveness. He didn’t want her to suffer like that. “How? I can’t simply blow them away from my mind!” she complained, a sigh escaping her mouth. 

“I…” he tried but words didn’t seem to come to his mind. Some years has passed since the last time he had apologized to someone. “I am sorry” he finally blurted with his deep voice, “I also shouldn’t have said that to you. I was angry” he explained quietly, hoping desperately that she could understand “you are my guest…not my prisoner. This time for real…” he said. And his deep black eyes were staring at her so intensely that she felt her legs become jelly. 

“I just wanted to be sure you were safe. As I told you, I really didn’t trust anyone here” “So, why we have to stay?” “Because we could do something good for the galaxy…and…” he swallowed “I want to protect you” he admitted. “The first order is powerful. To guide it, means also not having to fight against him”

“Why did you…” “Because as I said, I care for you Rey…” he finally admitted “you are important to me…You…” “Ben…” she sighed feeling her tears stinging her eyes “I am sorry too” she said and Kylo Ren was taken aback by her words. He didn’t really expect her to apologize with him “I shouldn’t have asked those things about your mother… I was just… Overwhelmed by my failure…”. 

“You didn’t fail anything! I was the one who failed…that’s because she’s dead by now...I hate what I have become" he finally admitted. And Rey immediately knew who was he talking about. And finally the strange range of emotions she had felt through they bound became clearer. "Ben... Please... talk with me! I will help you" He looked at her with wide eyes "Tell me about what's bothering you. I will not judge you...I promise. I'll listen to you" "You will?" He asked seriously, even too quietly. A spark of hope in his dark eyes. "I will" she answered sounding determined. Kylo seemed to think about that for a long moment. "What do you want me to talk about? Maybe about the fact that I was always alone in my house because my parents were too busy to spend their precious time with me, and I discoverd that I had got some strange powers all of a sudden?" "If this is what is bothering you, then yes. I want you to talk about that" she answered with decision. "So perhaps I should tell you about when I was twelve and I thought I was getting mad because I started to hear a voice in my head that it wasn't mine and they never told me about the fact that my grandfather was Dart Veder until I was twentyone and a scandal exploded in the Senate? Or maybe I should tell you about when I used to woke up in the middle of the night hearing them shouting at each other because they were scared of me? They thought I couldn't here them while they were arguing about the fact that there was too much darkness in me, like in Vader, that there was something wrong with me, something that needed to be fixed" he hissed pausing for a moment to regain his breath, staring at her intensely. "They never really cared about how I was feeling about all the situation. Do you want to know about the times when I heard her cry and sigh, only after he was already gone away on board of his old ship because she didn't want to be weak at his eyes? There was always something to fight or somenthing to be scared of..." he sighed. Rey's hearth was aching for him and also for Leia and Han. "Ben...I am sorry...But I am here now..." she murmured then "and if you trust me, I want to know everything about that" she slightly smiled at him to show him that he could really give in. Her eyes were sparkling in a way that he was dragged deeply into them, in her light. She was so bright. So splendidly bright that he could feel his darkness retreat. And so Kylo sighed heavily another time, seated on the edge of his bed and started to tell her everything. 

He talked to her about all the things he had always keep for himself during all those years. About how he felt when his parents sent him away from home and from them; about what he did the night when Luke tried to murder him in his sleep; he confessed all the horrible things he had done since that moment.

He was scared that she could not understand him, but she stayed there, reassuring him, caressing his back with her hand. Finally, he talked to her even about his mother's death. His hands covering his own face. Kylo Ren was feeling once more weak and scared like a child incapable of contain himself and his emotions. Too many years had passed since he had talked about himself to anyone. There was something intimate and right in that, as if they had always talked, as if they had always belonged to each other. Rey listened patiently sharing with him just a couple of gazes, at a time. “You…You tried to save her! Why didn’t you tell me before? Ben…” finally asked Rey in a whisper full of wonder. 

“ I didn't kmow if you wuold have listened" he admitted "When my parents decided to sent me to Luke’s academy, I thought that she, the general, was trying to throw me away because she thought that his son was a monster…she was scared by me. Even when she came to see me, I could feel her fear and Snoke used my insecurity to convince me that she tought that I was a monster. I have always lived with that certainty. All of my life. Until…” and Kylo Ren clenched his fits in frustration. “…until you had to kill her. And you really couldn’t kill your mother” concluded Rey for him. A tear streamed down her face. "I heard it. Throught the force. We still have a bound. We always had, but Snoke prevented me to feel her anymore since I was still a child. But while I was on that ship, before one of my fellows could blew the brigde of the Raddus, I felt her. She was thinking about me and.. she just wanted me back. Even after what I have done!" Kylo Ren sighed all of his sorrow. The unspoken words about Han’s death were lingering in the room between them.

“Oh Ben!” she exclaimed and so Rey cupped his right cheek in the palm of her hand, suddenly feeling guilty for her previous accusation. “you should have known. She never really stopped to love you. She was your mother!

And all the pain that Rey felt after her own asserition hit his mind like a wave made of sorrow and longing. He instantly knew what was bothering her.

“I didn't deserve that. Just like you didn't deserve to be sold away. But you don't have to think about them anymore. We could stay togheter now” he replied turning towards her to caress her cheek with one hand. His eyes full of hope and fear. Suddenly they both felt a thrill across their bound. The force was speaking of rightness and sweetness. And God, she was so beautiful with her loosened, wild and wet hair. The skin of her shoulders was bare at his sight. Kylo Ren fought to keep at bay his arousal trying to stare at her body the less as possible, but soon he realized that he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She seemed less bothered by his gaze by now. She was looking at him with those hazel eyes of hers, so beautiful. 

He hardly could think about anything but her lips and her scent. Surely, she had used the same soap he always used for himself. So, how could she have such a wonderful smell? So different, so feminine. 

“You are beautiful” he murmured enraptured “so beautiful” And Rey couldn’t believe at her ears. Nobody have ever told her something like that. She could feel the heat warming her cheeks. His needy eyes were so deep, his mouth so near to hers. His plump lips seemed to ask to be kissed. 

“So are you" she whispered, her face rosy pink. 

“Rey…” he said swallowing hard, this time looking directly in her hazel eyes "stay with me...please. I need you" he whispered. Rey was still holding the towel upon her chest to cover herself, to prevent him to see her. But it was so tight around her body that the round shape of her breasts was anyway perfectly visible under the fabric. 

He couldn’t bear the situation anymore. She was so close to him, that her scent was intoxicating. She had listened to him unlike anyone had done before. She was looking at him with those eyes… And so Kylo hugged her tight, tangling his glowed hands in her wild damp hair. And Rey hugged him back. “

"Please, stay with me Rey" he repeated, his voice broken, pleading. She waited a second, cuddling herself into the heat of his body. The fabric of his uniform accidentally rubbing her sensitive skin.

"I'll stay.." she finally answered breathless.

And then their eyes met again. His dark pools glued in her hazel eyes. In a moment their lips were finally brushing against each other for the second time. And the force around them was sparkling with joy.

  


Continua...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! If you want to help me tell me your opinion, leave me a comment. Thank you very much. Kisses :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In wich things became hot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am still here with a new chapter. Hope you enoyed. And I remember you I am not english and I still have to fix everything with the help of a Beta reader. Anyway I hope you can understand me and have fun with my story :)

He kissed her with passion. His lips were wet and soft upon hers. She smelled so good that Kylo really didn’t care about the wetness of her hair when he put one hand into her locks. At first she responded shyly, letting him kiss her without moving a muscle. But she didn’t retreat either.

Then, she started to feel as aroused as him and rised her hands to touch his face, hia hair. And when Kylo finally found the courage to use his tongue to taste her lips, asking for her permission to explore her mouth, she responded eagerly letting him full access. And so their kiss became much more intimate and wet.

The slightly brush of their lips of the previous day, a long lost memory while they started to explore eachself. Rey could feel his tongue brushing her one and then licking at her lips as if she was something delicious to eat. Her body’s heat was growing second by second. They were kissing just like in her vision. She could feel Kylo’s throbbing emotions through the force and she felt dizzy.

Was that actually happening? She had never been so close to anyone else in her whole life. She could feel Kylo’s taste in her mouth, his soft hair under her finghers. It was strange, scary and good at the same time. Meanwhile Kylo’s right hand was still tangled in her hair, the left one started to press gently on her side, slowly descending to caress her left tight. He made her shiver in pleasure and so she moaned softly into his mouth. “Mmmmm… Ben…” So after a while he let her go from his embrace, putting some distance between them to look better in her eyes. His gaze was hungry and needy just like she remembered when the borce bound flew opened on Achto.

Rey could sense his arousal through the force and so could Kylo. He was inexperienced just like her, but the wave of pleasure and bliss he felt from her made him much self confident. She was as eager as him to be touched. After so many years passed living apart from other human beings, she was desperately curious and needy, just like him, to discover what could may mean to belong to someone, to touch and to be touched.

He deepened the kiss, asking for more, and she allowed him, letting his hands roaming upon her shoulders and then massaging her back, kindly and slowly in a tender way. She shivered, then she put her own hands on his broad chest. The black fabric prevented her to feel directly the softness of his skin, but not the consistence of his muscles beneath and neither the heat that was coming from his body. So warm, so inviting.

Meanwhile his tongue was still exploring her mouth in a very accurate way. They kissed each other for a while, their body heat growing second by second, and so their curiosity. But when Kylo managed to touch her on her chest, she startled. He stopped to look at her, finding her face flushed, her eyes full of his same want. So he threw away his glowes to touch her with his bare hands. Both Ben and Rey felt the same overwhelming sensation they had experienced on Ach-to. They felt thunderstuked. They breathed heavily looking in each other eyes with wonder. This time they didn't see any vision, but the force was strong around them and it was speaking of destiny and eternity.

Kylo's hands traveled on her chest, finding the fabric of the towel and slipped slightly under it, finally touching the bare skin of her left breast. A strangled noise escaped from her mouth. Rey felt overwhelmed by the situation. She could breath the same air of him. He was looking into her eyes with such a want that she felt the urge to cry, whimpering his name while he kept touching her, kissing her everywhere. But she was also scary. Everything was happening so fast. They needed to slow down, she decided. So Kylo had only the time to think about how much soft her breast was under his palm, before she reacted moving away from his mouth and pushing his hand away. “Ben… stop…” she whimpered with an acute and timid voice, much more childish than hers.

Her breath was ragged and so was his. She suddenly felt his disappointment through their bound and also a hint of fear.

“I am sorry…I…” he bubbled not knowing what to say. His cheeks flushed. But after a while of discomfort, he seemed to regain his previous boldness, because he could feel it through the force. She liked his touch and she was desperately in need for more just like him. “Rey, please…don’t be shy… Let me see you…Please…” he asked.

His eyes were so full of want, so full of promises that Rey finally knew she could let go. Because if it was him the one to touch her, she could let him.

Because he has always been him and this was so damn right, she had to fight with herself to find a reason not to let him. Because now he was the one truly bare in front of her. He had showed to her his true self, he had made that big step just after one of the hardest choices of his life. Saving her instead to kill his last link to the light, despite Snoke orders, despite his fears.

Rey could still feel that sensation of completeness that she had felt in the throne room when they fought side by side against the pretorian guards. It was just like the force had her own will for them.

And her hearth was asking her to follow that will. “Ben…I’ve never really done this before…” she admitted in a whisper, his teeth biting slightly her lower lip in apprehension. Her wide eyes staring at him with such a trust that he felt astonished. Because after she spoke with those words Kylo Ren felt like as a huge weight had been thrown away from his chest.

Despite all the probability, despite the cruel things that Hux had said about her, Rey was still a virgin. Just like him. He had to known. Her pureness was too sincere, too bright to have endured something like a life of physical submission at the mercy of some dirty junk trader. Inexplicably, on an harsh land like Jakku, she had been able to survive scavenging and trading her stuff, without the need to sell her body.

She had always been fierce and strong over every imagination. Kylo Ren felt proud of her, she was so special and she didn’t seem to know how much she deserved to have a better life. He would have been the one to give her such a life. Obviously she was nervous because for the first time she was exposed to a male. At that thought Kylo Ren giggled for a while in contentment. He knew he could have told her that he was a virgin too, that she didn’t have to worry about it, that he had suffered of touch starvation just like her and they were discovering those sensations toghether. He also knew that she could feel his emotions across their bound.

But he really couldn’t admit that to her. He wanted to appear self-confident after his previous outburst. He wanted to be a real man for his wonderful, beautiful girl. She was younger than him, almost of a decade.

It was normal for her to think that he was much more experienced. How could he tell her that him, firstly, had no idea about how to start? “Don’t worry, sweetheart…I am going to be gentle…I promise…” he told her “please…let me see you. You are so beautiful" he said following the profile of her face with his forefinger, his eyes enraptured by her angelic features. “Sweetheart?” she asked in disbelief. She didn’t know why but despite the current situation, she suddenly felt an odd sensation in the the back of her mind. Something important came back to her memory. A voice, in a dream. "I'll come back sweethearth...I promise!" Her eyes widened for the sudden revelation. His voice. That voice!! Rey stayed still for a while, her mouth open, her eyes sparkling. Kylo Ren tensed immediately in front of her. What was that reaction for? Was it such a bad way to adress her? The emotions through the bound were so confused by now. So he had to ask her what was wrong. He swallowed a couple of time before to add “Yes" he breathed "Do you mind if I call you like that? Don't you like it? Sorry, I thought…I just remember my parents… You know…before that everything… ” and there was a tenderness in his voice that Rey felt her hearth warmed by the sight of him, trying to explain himself about the choice to call her his “sweetheart”. Rey couldn’t even believe it was really happening.

After all of the pain she had felt during the last weeks, hearing him addressing her so tenderly it was a bliss. “I am sorry” she said “it’s just… I had the feeling that this wasn’t the first time I heard you call me in that way” she tried to explain. His confused expression told her that she should have avoided to tell him such a strange thing.

“What?” he asked, the ecstasy slightly fading away from his face. And so Rey definitively regretted to have spoken about that, rather than let him just taking the towel off of her.

She sighed heavily, still holding his gaze. “I think I heard your voice even before we met” she explained “that day on Takodana, when I found the lightsaber. I remember that it called to me. And when I touched it…I had some visions. I didn't understand what was happening to me at that time. I was so scared..” but Rey couldn’t even finish her sentence that Kylo said “I know what do you mean!” he reassured her "I had some visions too. Even before, I have always known that it was you" he confessed "Really? Since when?" "Since that day on Starkiller base… As I said I had some visions too, even before we met. I use to see a person. At firts it wasn't clear to me what I was seeing. At the time I only knew that there was this girl. I wasn’t even certain she was actually a girl because I always saw her full dressed with some big googles and a desert scarf covering her face. It all started when I found that other lightsaber…So it had passed some years since the first time the vision came to me, but I was certain it was you in the same moment I saw your actually lightsaber reaching your grasp instead of mine”.

Rey’s face was shocked by now.

“Really? I mean… I heard that voice. I thougut it could be my father..." she explained. "It wasn't. It's not possible. I saw it" he quickly retorted abruptly. Rey fought to not let out a whimper. She inhaled sharply a couple of times. Kylo suddenly regretted his rude manners. "What did the voice said?" He asked to her quietly, his voice much more warm and reassuring than a moment before. "He told me that I had to wait for him to coming back to me" she confessed "Then the vision shifted and... Ben I think I saw you too in that vision and…You were wearing your mask and there was darkness and suddenly it was raining. So…I believed it was just a dream, or a nightmare. Until you came out of the forest on Takodana with your red lightsaber..." she poused. "Then I knew you were real. Even if I didn't undertand...Ben, do you think…” she blurted, almost speechless. “Yes, sweetheart. I don’t know why, but I think we were destined to meet each other” he responded staring directly in her eyes with determination “we have to stay together”.

She smiled at him so kindly that he couldn’t do anything else but go back to kiss her passionately with his already swollen lips. The force chasing their union with trepidation. Rey sighed in response, kissing him too. Their hands tangled together, their figher brushing one another. Their tongues demanding for more at every second.

After a while he finally asked her: “so…can I see you?” and so he brushed his right hand across the fabric of her towel right under her breast. Rey’s body became stiffen while a unknown jolt of pleasure reached for her core.

What was he doing to her, to make her melt in that way under his hands? “is it okay?" He asked feeling her nervousness. He was nervous too but also really eager to touch that soft, velvet skin of hers."Rey... I really want this. I feel it. You want it too... Please, let go" he pleaded. When she stayed silent he quckly added "I am not going to touch you if you really don’t want to, but...” he was already going to assure her, but then she nodded slightly never losing the contact with his deep dark eyes. "I want it too Ben"

So Kylo Ren's felt a shiver throught his spine. She shivered too. He stopped talking a prepared himself to discover her body. His mind full of passion and desire. His hand was treambling when he reached out for the towel. Rey blushed furiously when his fingers slightly brushed against the skin of her belly, but she let him do, holding her own breath. He had almost discovered her naked body when…

A series of furious beeps reached them both with an unexpected annoyance in the middle of their passion. Kylo’s eyes turned towards the place where the noises came from, just in time to see a droid, his damn personal BB unite, coming in. It was bringing a blu uniform and some ladies underwear in his mechanic hands.

Kylo couldn’t really believe at his eyes. He couldn’t have chosen a worst moment. He had almost…

“It’s BB-9. Look! He had brought me some clothes!” she exclaimed

A growl escaped from Kylo’s mouth.

…………………………………………………

 

A big ship full of fuel was flying into hyperspace directed towards Crait. The distress call of the Resistance had caught them unprepared but eager to help an old friend who still wanted to save the galaxy from her own damnation.

Lando Carrissian was getting old, his hair had become white, the few he still had, and his sight wasn’t the same of some years ago, but his sense of fraternal friendship towards Leia Organa had just grown across the years and now was still a beacon in his fading existence. He had to answer at her distress call and so he had sent to them one of his faster ship with the only person at the lead of the crew he could may trust.

His own daughter Kery. He hoped with all of his heart that it wasn’t too late for his rebels fellow. Otherwise, he couldn’t have forget himself for the rest of his days.

……………………………………………………..

Leia Organa was going to die. His twin brother was right near her, his hands imposed upon her chest, even if the process for healing her pain was already completed. It had been a long time since Luke had tried to use the force for such a purpose. But his sister’s hearth had stopped abruptly to beat and they didn’t have any other choice if not let him try to save her.

Fortunately, it seemed to work. Leia’s eyes were already open when the big ship of his old friend landed on the surface of the salty planet. Poe Dameron was already discussing with his crew about the plan to evacuate the mine to escape from the first order. The Supremacy wasn’t so near anymore, but the rebels suspected that their spy probe were still around.

They had to be careful. “Luke” she whispered her voice harsh but determined as always. His brother knelt beside her. “I am here” he answered grabbing her hand with his own.

“Thank you Luke” she smiled. His brother had a feral expression on his face, but he tried to smile her back. “I haven’t much time left…I need you to promise me…Please…Bring him back. After what you said…I know he can be saved. Please, promise me” she begged, tightening her grip on his hand. “I’ll do everything it’s in my power” he said “I swear”.

……………………………………………………

 

Finn was still shocked about the turn of the events of the last hours. The Wookie was painfully silent since the moment when Leia had lost her consciousness again. Luke didn’t want anyone around the two of them, even his old furred friend, and so Finn had offered him to distract himself playing at that holo game on board of the Falcon, that he seemed to like so much.

Chuwie had accepted his offer, but now, the former storm trooper had the right impression that he had agreed not much for his own benefit but for Finn’s. And, as if it wasn’t enough, that annoying girl, Rose, had wanted to join them because she was curious to see with her eyes the famous ship that one time had belonged to Han Solo.

As an engineer, she said, she was eager to see the internal structure of the old ship, as a member of the resistance, she was enthusiastically eager to feel part of the history of the galaxy. Anyway, after a good quarter of an hour, she was still there on the Falcon, bothering them with her stupid questions, meanwhile Rey, his friend, was still prisoner in the grasp of that monster.

“Are you sure that she really told you to tell me that?” Finn asked of the millionth time to the poor Wookie. A couple of snarls, the same that him and Rose, had already heard, just a few minutes ago, roared in the cockpit of the ship. Yes, she really really told me to tell you that. Answered his old friend. I was the one to suggest her to explain that to you. But the message that Rey had left to him, didn’t seem to have any sense. “I am going to Ben. We are destined to each other.

Together we are going to stop the war. Take care of yourself. I will never forget you” Finn still couldn’t believe that the person she had so easier addressed as “Ben” was in the truth the mighty Kylo Ren. The same dark figure that had haunted him in his dreams for years while he was serving under the first order. “It can’t be!” he muttered another time.

“I told you! Did you hear master Skywalker? She had a force vision and that lead her to him. Aren’t you shocked about the fact that he is practically the son of our former general?” intervened Rose.

“Yes I am” retorted Finn with a huff “but, as I said, I really don’t understand that Force!”

“Luke thinks that she had been seduced to the Dark Side because they have a powerful force bound that keeps them toghether. If it was true, what are you going to do, anyway? Bringhing her home it won't be enough. And more over Kylo Ren would be chase you two everywhere”

Finn stopped to think about her words and sighed heavily.

“I don’t know wat to do. I don't even understand what it is a force bound" he finally admitted with another huff. "I think that this sounds like a sort of connection for the life. You can't stay without the other to feel yourself complete. Like the two alves of the apple. Sounds romantic, don't you think?" Rose asked. "What? Can you please stop with all those nonsense? It's ridiculus! Instead, if thestory of the force bound is true, it may mean that she is not truly herself by now. She's under a kind of spell" "Yes, I suppose it could be as you just said...or...maybe she had gone to him willingly because she had fallen in love with Kylo Ren" Rose giggled looking at Finn with a thinking face. "What? Rose please! I am trying to figure out an escaping plan!” he finally cried out in frustration. Rose not seemed to bother too much about it. Finn was stubbornly tring to deny what was perfectly evident to everyone. Her friend didn’t was the angelic young woman he had thought. And maybe she also liked the bad guys instead of the good ones like Finn. Rose was different. She can recognize a good guy when she met one.

But you heard master skywalker. He said he had failed with them both. Probably by now your Rey had already started her path as a Sith with Kylo Ren as a teacher" she retorted. It was so terrible that Finn wouldn’t recognize such a simple matter of fact. Meanwhile, Chuwie was moving his holo pawn in the wrong position and his little creature was having a bad time too, hitted on the head by Finn’s one. He growled in frustration too.

“An escaping plan?” muttered Rose thoughtful “The last one we made without the permission of the general didn’t go well. Don’t you remember?” she immediately retorted “and more over, Poe is still discussing this subject with our new allied, just in front of you” and saying so Rose pointed her finger over the Falcon’s cockpit. Through the old and dirty glass, a huge ship was visible in plan sight. Lando’s ship. Finn sighed one more.

“I know” he said “but this escape plan concerns just the Resistance. Not Rey” he finally split out. And so Rose rolled her eyes.

“I should have known you were going to say that. Stop pining for Rey, you are getting annoying” “What? I am not pining for Rey!” Finn suddenly objected. Rose looked scornful.

“Heavy pining. Heavy” she repeated “when I met you the first time, you were ready to abandon the resistance to help her. And now here you are for the second time. How can one person mean more to you then a whole cause?” Finn looked at the holo where Chuwie’s pawn was now smashing a chair against his, then turned to glare at Rose. “I was raised in a army to fight for a cause” he said “Then I met Rey. And for the first time I had someone I cared about to fight for.

That’s who I wanted to be. There has to be a way to save her. To broke the force bound with that monster". He braced himself for another caustic remark but Rose’s face softened. “Maybe. There is always a a way" she answered trying to be supportive even if she didn't believe at her own wordsm. Rose sighed. "You should love her very much…” she said with a hint of jealousy in her voice “she is luky to have a good friend like you” and saying so, the young girl started to look at her medallion, the one she reminded her at the most important person of her life, that now was unfortunately gone. A tear streamed down Rose’s face and so even Finn’s expression softened.

“Rose…Even if Paige isn’t here anymore” he said “you are not alone” and so he grabbed her in an awkward embrace. "I know" she aswered before quitting, with an excuse to go to check about Leia’s conditions.

“Finn...while you figure out a way to break the bound...Don’t run away with the ship” she joked just before leaving Finn and Chuwie at their game “See you in a half of a hour for the evacuation”.

And so Rose exited the ramp of the Falcon with rapid steps. But her words still lingered in Finn’s mind.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we are with our Space Virgins!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thanks to be here and for reading my story! I hope you will enjoy this chaper. It is a really importat one, in fact this time, for the most important part, I recieved the help of a beta reader really eager to help me. Thank you very much Captain_Wolfy who edited for me a big part of chapter 10! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! Good reading :)

Quickly dismissing the droid, Kylo tossed the clothes on the bed. Fortunately, despite the interruption, he could feel that the girl was still eager to let him touch her. He didn’t lose any time and reached for the towel with hunger. She let him do, squirming in pleasure when the fabric of the towel fell down on the floor and his fingertip finally brushed against her bare skin for the second time. Kylo’s eyes drank in her beautiful features for a long moment. He was breathless.

Kylo instinctively bit his lower lip and felt the fabric of his trousers tighten at the height of his hips. Suddenly aware of the effect she was having on him, he covered the bulge of his crotch with both his hands. Not sure if his reaction at her nakedness would have scared the bright angel who was standing in front of him, he suddenly felt ashamed of himself. But Rey didn’t seem to notice it. Yes, she blushed furiously but she hold his gaze, as if she knew that he needed her eyes to look into his own to confirm that she was really feeling in the same way. Her eyes glimmered in expectation.

And Kylo’s erection started to ache because of the compulsion of his trousers. It had been a while since he had allowed his body to let go in such a lustful way. Snoke, he remembered, was always in his head, ready to punish him for his weakness. And lust, desire had always been weeknesses he really couldn’t bare. He had taught him to be stronger than the needs of his body and soul. Stronger than pain, stronger than pity, stronger than love.

Kylo handn’t touched himself in years to show him how stronger he was. He was also scared of his’s master reaction but more than anything, he had always felt disgusted at the thought of that monster lurking into his mind while he was pleasuring himself. But the human body was still made of flash and bones. And his own nature required him to release his needs once in a while. So, the only way he had to release himself was through the dreams that his mind, sometimes, made him do, forcing that ejection.

Before his dreams were just the undefined shapes of a woman body. He didn’t really need to think too much to get aroused, considering that he was always surrounded by other male and busy with his training to became a sith lord just like his grandfather. Often it was sufficient a pair of tits, or recall to the memory something he had seen in a holo mixed with his imagination. But in the last months, in his head, there had always been her. Rey. 

Only and just Rey. Her slander forms, her lovely face, her hazel eyes. And Snoke knew how much aroused he became at the simple thought of her. In the throne room he had talked about a “weakness” in his apprentice. Snoke had caught him awaking panting and gasping several times, with Rey’s image still marked in his mind, the pleasure flowing into his veins, his seed splattered into his underwear. And Snoke had also felt his fear to be caught in such a situation. Kylo knew he couldn’t really do anything about that. He coulnd’t control his dreams, or his subconscious while he was asleep.

He had feared Snoke’s reaction about that for weeks, waiting for his mean gaze to find his way into his broken soul till the point of not returne. Waiting for his usual body punishment for his weakness. But nothing had come. Snoke had been enough smart to not tell him anything about it. Kylo didn’t knew if his master was awere of his connection with Rey, but he suspected that he knew. Snoke always knew what was in his head. He had tried to hide his confusion deep inside of his mind, his feelings for her, but Snoke was too powerful and while Kylo was sleeping he really couldn’t hide his true self to him.

But now, now Kylo was free, he had to remind to himself. Snoke was dead. There was nobody here to witness at their exchange of touches. Anybody to blame him for his feelings, for his desire for Rey. Nothing to be ashamed of if his body was just reacting in in the natural way males reacts of an external sexual stimulation. He knew that. But Kylo’s body was paralyzed from fear in his black stiff uniform, incapable to do anything a part from staring at her in bewilderment.

He closed his eyelids for a couple of times, like he was trying to realize that he was actually awake and then he pressed one finger in the collar of his tunic to loosen it. His adam apple was going up and down in apprehension, still not knowing how to act. “You’re wonderful,” he finally breathed. “Thank you” she answered, her face as red as blood. He took a step forward, trying to stay as close to her as possible. She reached up to kiss him on his lips and Kylo’s mind went blank.

“Oh Rey… You are so beautiful, so damn beautiful…” he murmured, this time directly into her neck, swallowing hard, seeming enraptured by her presence so near to him. She smiled at him, shyly while he reached for her face, caressing her left cheek with his fingertip and then cupping her face with the palm of his hand. She shivered at the sensation of warmth of his hand, still staring at his lustful eyes. His touch was gentle, like a feather on her skin.

When his hand slowly descended on her shoulder and then on her breasts, probing her round shape and deliberately avoiding her stiffen nipples, Rey had to hold back a mewl, feeling as if her whole body on fire. “Ben,” she pleaded even though she didn’t really knew what she was pleading for. Then he finally reached for her little nipples and she gasped in pleasure. Kylo’s mouth drooled at the thought of how would may feel using his tongue to lick at those perfect rosy pebbles of hers.

His swollen lips needy of a contact with her soft roundness. He wanted to kiss her so desperately. But he decided to start from her neck, leaving at his hands the pleasure to taste her tits first. Suddenly she putted her arms over his head, tangling her fingers in his hair. Kylo smirked at her in amusement and then kissed her jawline slowly, in a reverential way.

His arousal growing at every little whimper she made. Her breath was hot on his face while he lavished her neck with damp hot kisses. “Mmmmmm…. Ben…” she moaned making him feel dazzled. He kissed her with much more intensity, like a starved man. “Ben!” she gasped in his ear. He stopped. The urgency in her voice making him feel bolder he grasped at her breasts a little too hard and she squeaked in pain. He let her go immediately, staring directly into her eyes.

“Sorry, you squeezed it a bit too eagerly, I’m fine,” she explained with her soft voice.

“I am sorry,” he said, suddenly fearing her rejection. His past boldness completely forgotten. But Rey’s voice block him out.

“I’m fine, Ben,” she smiled at him reassuringly. She kissed the tip of his nose with tenderness, mimicking his earlier behavior, finding that he was sensitive under his jawline too. But his collar prevented her from touching him properly. Now it was his turn to moan in pleasure under her touch. But Rey felt it was completely unfair to be naked in front of him, who was still totally dressed from head to toes. “Ben,” she whispered. His eyes flashed open. His worry was clear and undeniable.

“Ben it’s okay, it’s just, I want to see you too. Please,” she asked with such a tenderness that he had to repeated the sentence in his head a couple of times before getting it’s true meaning. Too enraptured by the sight of her beautiful lips. “Rey you don’t have to do that if you,” he told her but she shacked her head wearing a big smile, a great determination in her eyes. “I-l, want to,” she admitted, her cheeks flushed. Kylo felt his hearth racing in his ribcage.

Without any other word, he stared at her, kissing her lips with tenderness and then he started to disrobe himself. But his already bare hands started to shake in the process. She noticed it and grabbed his hand with hers. “Ben, it’s okay, just tell me how to take off your,” “Like this” he breathed hard on her lips letting her fingers brush against his. He showed her what to do until he was completely naked up to the waist.

Disrobing himself with her help felt like a strange dream for Kylo. Rey didn’t waste any time. She grabbed the black fabric and pull it away from his arms, his neck. She was so eager to touch him, she didn’t recognize herself in such hunger. But she wanted to touch him everywhere. His face, his hair, his neck, his chest, she wanted to kiss him like he was doing to her. And now that he was finally bare-chested she could do so. The angry scar she’d given him in their duel snaked down his face and neck and across his collarbone. His skin was pale like anyone else she had ever seen. She knew it was because of sun deprivation.

He had lived several years in space under the artificial lights of the Supremacy. Rey wondered how the color of his skin would may change if he would live under the light of a sun. She noticed the wound on the left of his abdomen, the one that Chewbacca had caused him. He had a special bandage covering that spot. He was still recovering, she noticed. Then her gaze moved all over his body. There were little moles everywhere.

The rest of his body was perfect, without any imperfection: just smooth, velvety skin to kiss and to touch. Kylo was very muscular and thick, and his biceps were so large and he seemed so strong and tall compared to her. They were so near, just a few centimeters between them. Rey felt a sudden moisture forming in her most intimate place, instinctually she closed her thighs together. Another shiver made her feel dizzy. She didn’t know what that meant but she knew she had never felt so aroused in her whole life.

It was a strange sensation. As if she was thirsty, she knew she needed something but it wasn’t clear to her what exactly it was. She really couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He was so beautiful, so handsome. During her inspection Kylo was looking at her too, in bewilderment, his eyes as thirsty as hers. Finally Rey reached for his chest and caressed his skin with her bare fingers and so she saw him close his eyes and letting out a whimper. He was shuddering.

Then Kylo reached the hand that she had put on his chest with his own and kissed her fingers with his plump lips. He kissed her palm, her wrist, her forearm and in the blink of an eye, he was already kissing her neck, her jawline with passion. He hold her still with his left hand on her hips.

Rey felt her legs unsteady “Ben…Ben…” she murmured in his ear as he kissed her neck furiously, like he wanted to eat her. He wanted to taste her with his lips, with his tongue… He was inexperienced, but his lack in knowledge was replaced by curiosity and enthusiasm. Let out the fact that his soul was practically singing in contentment, the force vibrating around them. This wasn’t just a carnal union of two bodies. It was the union of souls.

And what would be wrong if it was so good to feel her skin under his touch? The girl was bright. He could feel her light perfectly balancing with the darkness inside of him. She was like a beacon to him, a fire who was luring his damned soul into her light, as if he had been a moth. He laughed at that thought, finding the metaphor appropriate.

He was a creature of the night starving, needy for her bright light to swallow him alive. Like a moth, did he would have let her burn him alive? Yes he would, he answered to himself. If that would have meant to stay with her just a little more. He would have let her take everything from him. Rey felt the same. They couldn’t really read each other’s minds, it wasn’t like that.

But if they listened carefully, their attention projected to the other, they could feel everything. The fear, the joy, the lust. So when Kylo started to suck on a particular spot on her neck with such an energy that her legs became jelly, he didn’t feel surprised to acknowledge that she was happy.

“Ben…I… Can we…?” she stuttered, her voice trembling too. “Yes?” he asked breathless, looking directly into her eyes. “Can we…I really can’t stand in the middle of the room anymore…” she confessed pointing her finger towards the bed. Kylo followed her gaze and then looked at her face. Without any second thought he took her in his arms and carried her to the bed. “You are still dressed,” she pointed out then, her face hot and her cheeks flushed.

He couldn’t believe at his ears. She really wanted him completely naked? He wasn’t sure she was ready for him yet. More over, he didn’t know if he would have been able to stop if he would have been totally free of his garments. Kylo huffed, and made some steps backward starting to take off his black boots. In a rapid move, he kicked them away. His erection still painfully pulsing in his tight trousers. But when he looked into her eyes he stopped, not finding the courage to go on.

Not yet, he thought. Without a word he reached for her, still wearing his pants. She squirmed in surprise when his hands touched her bare thighs to lift her against his board chest. He was so strong he could easily pick her up in a blink of an eye. When he put her down, kindly, Rey could feel the smoothness of his sheets under her touch. She would never be able to be accustomed to that comfort, did she? If she was really going to stay here with him, maybe… Kylo was upon her, but she could not be less frightened. Every inch of his skin she was able to touch was a bliss.

She suddenly noticed that he was still half dressed under the waist. Rey bit her lower lip with agitation. She wanted to ask him to strip himself completely, she really wanted to see all of him, but she also felt too embarrassed to try. Kylo was still kissing her body with hunger and desire, his hands roaming upon her breasts, her hips, her belly… But Rey didn’t want to let him lead completely.

She reached for his abdomen and caressed his muscles, she traced a circle with her fingertrip around his belly-button, brushing the black fuzz that was vanishing under his waistband. He shivered and kissed her with urgency, growling into her mouth.

His reaction provoked a wave of pleasure upon Rey’s spine. She loved to see him like that under her touch. She felt powerful to be able to give him such an intense emotion just brushing her hands on his abs. She touched his stomach another time and then her attention turned to his chest. Without thinking, she brushed her fingers against his nipples and he sighed in pleasure biting his lower lips in response. He was as sensitive as her, she realized.

“Rey” he breathed out her name as if it was a sort of prayer, his eyes shut in appreciation. Then they flew open another time, and his black iris were piercing right into her soul. Then she saw him putting his right index into his mouth. Then his hands were already upon her chest. His damp finger over her own, stiffen nipples, tracing the outline of her areola and then torturing his rosy pebbles with mastery.

At that feeling she gasped. “Ben,” she moaned “…Ahhhh….Please….Mmmmm….Ben…Please,” she murmured under his touch. She didn’t really know what was she pleading for, but Kylo seemed to understand because when he finally lowered his hands on her hips and with his mouth he started to press some kisses on her collarbone and then took her left breast in his mouth, she felt a wave of pleasure directly in her core. Rey gasped in surprise, feeling the heat spreading in her chest.

His tongue caressed the little areolas and then sucked at her nipple. She cried out his name a couple of times and this seemed to make him even more aroused. Rey was both ashamed and happy at the same time. She didn’t know what he was doing to her, but she liked it. He continued to suck at her nipple until he decided to try her other breast. Kylo licked and sucked at her skin and Rey felt her core pulsing, aching.

Her thirst instead of decreasing, was growing. She started to feel even more frustrated and she didn’t know why. Her body was talking to her, but she was afraid to listen. But after a little more of Kylo’s ministration, she couldn’t bare the situation anymore. Rey’s hands traveled upon his face and she called to him.

“Ben...” Kylo was still sucking at her nipple. He would have suked at those sweet pebbles for the rest of his life if only she had allowed him. “Ben…Please…” she moaned, Kylo let her nipple go out of his mouth. His eyes were wild. He stared at her for a while, waiting for her instructions, but Rey didn’t seem to find the courage to speak. Kylo then looked at her body one more time. He could feel her need across their bound. It was as powerful as his own.

He suddenly recognized the ache in her core. His own throbbing erection was screaming in frustration. A rapid look into her eyes and Kylo’s right hand now was touching her tights, slowly finding his way towards her aching pussy.

He couldn’t stop staring at her eyes but he was also eager to look at the secret place between her legs. Kylo wish he could smell her more intimate scent. The primal part of him would have buried his face between her tights if only she have let him. But he knew it was too soon for that, he was hoping she could let him at least, touch her, helping her to find release. She was under his body now, so full of trust, her eyes sloppy with pleasure.

She was pure energy and he was pure instinct now. His desire for her taking the better of him. Finally his finger brushed against the brown curls covering that sweet spot between her legs he was so eager to discover. Feeling his light touch against her core, Rey sensed another wave of pleasure smashing into her brain. Instinctually she felt the impulse to close her thighs. And so she did, too embarrassed to let him touch her where only she had put her hands.

She wasn’t a child anymore. She didn’t knew much about sexuality but she had noticed how much her body had felt right in the rare occasions when she had experienced a friction just in that point. But until now she had never thought it could be related to human mating. She barely knew that she had to stay away from men and males in general, to avoid troubles, but nobody had ever taught her anything about sex.

She had always thought that having her stuff with her to hit and fight was enough to prevent these kind of situations on Jakku. But now, now was a completely and totally different situation. The things he was doing to her were absolutely amazing. She had never imagined that such a good feeling could may exist. Her first experience in human bodily contact had been hugging Finn and just then she had thought that it had felt really too much. It had been warm, and kind, and she had felt so good hugging her friend and to be hugged back. But this, this was something else.

When Finn had hugged her, she hadn’t felt her body ache in such a way. She hadn’t felt her core became soaked and wet in that manner. She hadn’t felt that electricity passing through her soul when his gaze had found hers. Right now Kylo’s eyes were looking at her in such a way that she could feel her inner tights squirm in pleasure at the simple sight of him so near. They were really close but it wasn’t enough. Kylo bit his lower lip in frustration, pulling back his hand. He had barely touched her brown curls that she already decided to close her legs in a squirm.

“I-I’m sorry,” she said, “I really didn’t expect…” she breathed, her voice acute and terribly embarrassed. She didn’t really wanted to reject him. It had been just a reflex, just the result of a whole life of touch deprivation. Kylo’s eyes were full of shame and confusion by now. She looked at him and find a hurt boy, the bad and sad feeling of rejection fluttering between them.

Rey reached for his hand still looking into the dark pools that were his eyes, “I want this, Ben. Can’t you feel it?” She asked. Suddenly the veil of pain and refusal he had in his eyes was replaced by a serious expression. He closed his eyes for a moment, in concentration. When he opened them after a few seconds, he was smiling at her. It was the strangest vision she could may imagine. He seemed younger when he smiled. Rey had never seen him like that before.

He didn’t have perfect teeth, his hair were a mess in his head, but he was still the most beautiful man she had ever seen. She smiled at him too, and this surely encouraged him to touch her another time. Not before asking: “So, is it okay if?”

“Yes…” she answered eagerly “Sorry for earlier…Please Ben…” she said. But this time he had to hear that form her mouth.

“Please what Rey?” and according to his smirk, now he was totally aware of what she had meant.

Anyway he wouldn’t have lift a finger on her, until she had admitted that she really wanted him to do that. She hated him for that, because she knew that he knew. But she asked anyway.

“Please Ben, touch…me,” she murmured, her voice so low that was merely audible. But Kylo was so impatient that he really didn’t need anything else to go back touching her. He started kissing her with his lips on hers. His tongue eager to meet hers. Then his hands traveled down her body for the second time and finally he reached her core and this time, she let him touch her.

So while Kylo’s left hand was busy tickling his nipple, and their mouths were kissing passionately, Kylo’s right hand started to tease her little pussy, hands shaking just a little. She gasped into his mouth still embarrassed, her eyes closed, letting the sensation of his touch devoure her. He was so aroused that when he found her inner thigh already slick and damp, he had to fight with himself to not let out a moan. Now it was his turn to blush.

“Too… much sexual stimulation I think…” he finally blurted out, passing one hand across his hair, nervously. Because it was ridiculous to deny it at this point. They were just a few steps away to having a complete sexual experience with each other. They had just skipped a lot of steps but their mutual need was undeniable and overwhelming, by now.

They could feel each other emotions trough the force. How many people could say the same? Anyway, either Kylo neither Rey had ever talked about sex with anyone, and having this conversation with each other just in the middle of their first making out, felt a little awkward. Rey swallowed a couple of times, not knowing how to answer to his statement.

Was that really happening? Was even she ready? She looked at his intense gaze and felt the urge to hold him, knowing that yes, she was. Rey kissed him strongly on the mouth and hugged him tight, letting her body communicating what her mouth wasn’t able to say. She wanted all of that. To be close to him, to feel his breath mixing to her own. She wanted to feel everything with him. Kylo looked at her still biting at his lower lip.

A rebel lock of his raven hair was covering his forehead. Rey smiled caressing his right cheek with her hand and sweeping the lock away from his wild eyes. He smiled back at her, a bright smile, and Rey’s embarrassment slowly faded away under his warm gaze. So Kylo went back caressing her body. This time with much more resolve.

He pressed his fingers on her belly, then on her tights, and finally he found her wet core and gasped in pleasure at the same time with her when he found that his fingertip was deeply wet after a simple brush against her folds.

Meanwhile, Kylo’s mouth was kissing the soft skin of her neck, sucking and licking behind her earlobe. She shivered under his ministrations, feeling a strange heat rising form her inner tights, moaning slightly into his hair.

He gasped but continued to touch her and Rey lost herself into his touch. Kylo’s fingers were still brushing her hot flash by now. The pleasure was rising at every single touch. Kylo keep kissing her everywhere while his index started to find his way into her core.

“Mmmm…Ben” she moaned when he finally pushed his finger deeper inside of her. She started to see the stars.

 

…………………………………………

 

The Resistance was ready to leave the planet of Crait. And Finn was still so frustrated that he was pacing nervously forward and backward into the Falcon’s cockpit. After his talk with Rose, he had thought to really steal the ship and find the master codebreaker by himself and go to rescue Rey on the Supremacy.

A wild thought, a desperate one, for a desperate anxious friend. But after a couple of seconds he had realized how crazy a similar idea could have been. He knew too well that, even without all the variable that could may happen to him during the trip to Canto Bright and even if he was able to bring the Falcon over the atmosphere– he didn’t really have any idea of how to pilot a ship and this time Han Solo wasn’t here to help him and anyway he dubted that Chuwie whould have abandoned Leia in such a moment– he was pretty doomed without a proper plan.

Not to consider all the difficulty to find the master codebraker all by himself. And even if he have found him - really dubious – would they have been able to pass the shields and actually get on board of the First Order ship? He even didn’t know how to find her.

The supremacy was extremely big and that meant also a big amount of possibility to be caught by some officers during their permanence on board, or worst, by his daily nightmare, his former captain, Phasma.

Not to talk about the fact that Kylo Ren was there too.. And even if he would have been so incredibly lucky to find her alone, what if she would have been reluctant to go with him as Luke said? Because of that spell, the one that was bounding her mind with the one of that murderer, she could have refuse to go with him, this time.

Finn breathed several times, in and out to calm himself. He knew he had to do something to help his friend, but he really didn’t know a thing about the force. He had already kicked a wall in frustration, accidentally opening a drawer.

A strange sensation had caught him unprepared. Finn had felt a tingling on the back of his neck. Curiosity had brought him to take a look on the drawer, just to find it was full of what seemed…old books? Nobody used to read books in this age.

They were really rare. “What are these?” he had asked to his furred friend who was still concentrated on his holo game. And so Chuwie had explained to him about Luke and the his multiples try to burn the ancient uneti tree, containing the old library of the Jedi on Ach-to. “So Rey had stolen these books to save theme from Luke?” asked an astonished Finn.

A growl confirmed his words. “But…I don’t understand. How could be possible that she had saved these ancient Jedi texts if she had turned to the dark side as Luke said? And how’s it possible that Luke, who’s still a master Jedi, had instead tried to burn them? There’s something missing in this story, pal” he finally said snorting in Chuwie’s direction.

“I told you! We can’t thrust him! I bet he had taught us a lot of lies about Rey…” Finn started but Chuwie suddenly stopped with an anger snarl. So Finn went back to the defensive. “I am sorry, I know he is your old friend. But don’t you think too that there’s something strange in all this situation?”.

Chuwbecca answered shaking his furred head with conviction. He growled for several times in what, from his point of view should have been a good satisfying speech, just to find an astonished Finn, asking him if his story about “the mourn of the shape of a salty frog who failed in his study” [the remorse and the shame e of the haughty Jedi who failed both his students] “ had something to do with his problem with Luke or Rey’s recuse. The former stormtrooper, unfortunately wasn’t completely prepared to understand the Wookie language. Finn huffed desolate.

“I wish Rey was here…She was the one understand you” Finn muttered to himself, letting go another sigh. Chuwie growled another time rolling his eyes. Finn was almost to the point to ask him to bring him to a place where he could have found another ship, when Luke Skywalker in person climbed up on the ship. Finn statled at the sight of the jedi master and he closed the drower with the ancient books with one fluid kick on the drawer.

“They are ready to go” Luke said lifting his gaze towards them. Finn had reacted just in time. He dindn’t know why, but he had the feeling that those dusty books could may be the key to his problem with Rey. But he couldn’t let Luke know about their presence on the Falcon, ultil he would have been sure of his loyalty towards Rey.

“You should hurry to join them” Luke concluded, talking directly to Finn. The bearded man had a very grumpy expression on his face. He seated right in front of Chuwie and when he growled in his direction he gave him a sad smile.

“Yes, I think you should go to her right now. She would be happy to stay in your company, my old friend” answered Luke after a long moment. The Wookie stood up in all his highness and started to descend the ramp.

“Don’t you go with them?” asked Finn after a while. Luke put on a knowing smirk.

“And you? Leia had just told me about the fact that you are a former Stormtrupper” he pointed out. Finn suddenly stiffened.

“It’s true, but it wasn’t my choice. I am not that man anymore” he explained.

“But you are not a resistance member either” Luke suddenly retorted. Finn felt taken aback but didn’t want to surrender to that living human legend with the forked tongue. “How can you say that? You even didn’t know me!” he said.

“You didn’t know me too, but you have already suggested that I am liar and maybe I am hiding your precious girl somewhere like an ogre may do” Finn swallowed hard and this time he remained silent. There was something in Luke’s blu eyes that made him feel really nervous, even if he didn’t knew why.

“More over” the bearded man continued “you had just addressed the resistance members like them, Sign that you really don’t feel part of the cause. What’s your cause, Finn?” Luke finally asked.

The former stormtrooper sighed heavily at that question but he didn’t loose his determination.

“I just want her back. I want to save Rey…If all this thing about the force are true…”

“They are” interrupted Luke with a frown.

“Well, then we need to find a way to broke the bound with Kylo Ren!” he exclaimed.

“It’s not possible! Didn’t you listen when I explained this to everyone in that room just a few hours ago?”

“I listened! But I have the feeling that you didn’t told us everything!”. Luke grumbled in frustration.

“Try me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thanks for reading and if you have something to say, please leave me a comment. If you liked it, or not and why. I'd like to know your opinion and if you find the charaters in canon or not.  
> Kisses


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter begins with a sort of flash back to describe what happened when Luke explained to the resistance about his darkest moment. I thougut a lot about it. Maybe it wasn't necessary, but in the end I thought it was and so here we are. I hope it won't be boring but interesting. And then... well...Rey and Kylo became even much more intimate with each other...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am really happy to see that so many people are reading this fanfiction. But I'd like to know your opinion. Please leave me a comment and May the force be with you :)

 

“I think I should be the one to tell them the whole story” started Luke Skywalker, his expression severe and full of pain. Everyone in the control room of the mine, was already holding his breath.

“Several years ago” Luke started “I made a mistake… a big mistake” he huffed pausing for a moment.

“What kind of mistake? Surely it can’t be that bad!” intervened Rose with curiosity. He was a legend, the mighty Jedi master Skywalker, the one who helped to destroy the old Empire. What could have he done so wrong? A shared gaze with his sister Leia, and Luke finally find the courage to admit his fault.

“I failed one my students. He was the most gifted Padwan I have ever seen, the strongest one also. But he was fragile and shy. He didn’t speak much as the major part of my other students. He used to spend his free time alone and even during meal he was always quiet and silent…So I started to watch at him with growing concern, until, looking into his head, I started to feel that something was wrong with him…”

“Something was wrong?” Rose asked in bewilderment.

“What kind of wrong?”

“He was Ben, isn’t it? Your problematic student!” intervened Finn with the same urgency he had already showed earlier “your nephew…The only son of the general, the same monster who killed Han in front of Rey and I!” he concluded with a knowing gaze, directed to both Luke and Leia. His jaw clenched, his lips a straight line, his black eyes burning. Poe’s gaze quickly traveled from Finn’s to Luke’s eyes. An incredulous sound escaped from Rose’s mouth.

“What? Wait… Are you saying that the general had got a secret son for all this time and…”

“Yes…He’s my nephew… Ben Solo” Luke stepped in “but now he use to call himself with the name of…”

“Kylo Ren!” she exhaled without breath.

“Yes”

“But…How is it possible?” Rose asked, terrified.

“Yeah, how is it possible?” Finn remarked.

“That’s why he is so powerful! He is the heir of Dart Veder!” added Rose after a moment “He’s not just a lord sith, he’s the descendant of the most powerful man the galaxy had ever dreaded! That’s the explanation of his difficulty at the Jedy school…he was evil…just like his grandfather” Rose exclaimed. Luke sighed heavily.

“It’s not that simple” he confessed.

“If it were just a question of blood line, even Leia and I should have turned to the dark side a long time ago…And, much more important, did you know that Dart Veder, had been one of the most powerful Jedi in the whole galaxy before to become who he was?” Rose and Finn looked at him in bewilderment.

“Wait, what?”

“Yes… and if it hadn’t been for Luke’s firm conviction that he could be redeemed, that there was still good in him, we couldn’t have won the war!” stepped in Leia.

“So, are you saying that Kylo Ren could be turned to the light because once he had been a jedi and there is still light in him?” Rose asked.

“Yes, my dear…I know that my son had made many mistakes, but I know that…”

“Even after the murder of his own father? He is a monster!” Finn insisted, not waiting for Leia to conclude.

Then, the old woman looked at her brother and sighed in frustration “Yes…because I know he’s not a monster! He had a monster in his head and we hadn’t be able to help him” she retorted. Finn, Rose and Poe remained stunned after her words.

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Snoke…Do you know who he is?” Leia asked to Finn. He nodded with his head in silence. “My son was a very gentle boy, a smart one. He had always been quiet and kind with us. I remember him running in the cockpit of the Falcon saying that one day he would have become a pilot just like his father…Ben loved us so much…” and now Leia was almost crying. Chewie and C3P0 were near her and they tried to lift her up with words full of hope, and so she smiled.

“Thank you my friends…I know that I have to be strong as ever, but…After our last encounter I am a bit more emotional than usual… I felt him through the force” she admitted “before of the incident where so many of my friends died. I felt his conflict and his fears. My boy is still there Luke. He didn’t fire on me. He stopped!” she explained.

Leia could feel the exhaustion of the last hours taking advantage of her, but this conversation was too important to her. She would have layed down, if she could have been able to, but she had to hold on.

Even if her lungs were burning and her head was becoming light and her back was aching to the point she had to make a big effort not to show her pain to the others. It was her last chance to have her son back. Leia was sitting on an old chair but this didn’t help very much. Her walking stick was the only thing keeping her from collapsing on the floor full of salt crystals.

“This is a big mess!” Poe murmured to himself, one hand through his hair. His expression almost as tired as Leia’s. “I know that this may sound foolish at your ears, but I think he’s regretting what he has done” Leia continued.

“With all of my respect, general, I don’t think so!” Finn answered, “I saw what he’s able to and I have never seen a hint of compassion in him. Whomever he had been in the past, he is Kylo Ren by now and he hasn’t got a heart anymore!” Even Leia’s heart was aching now, deep in her core. But she pretended not to feel all of the pain that was flowing into her veins.

“Snoke could have tried to tempt him in many manners but he made that choice in the end! And it was the wrong one, exactly the same when he choose to kill his father!” “And that’s here that you are wrong!” intervene Luke. His eyes were starting to fill up with tears “It was all my fault if he had chosen that path!” said Luke.

“What do you mean?”

“The son of my beloved sister Leia and…” Luke looked in the direction of Chewbecca and this one growled in response.

“Yes…Han’s only son” he continued “…They sent him to me because of his temper... During his training he was always so full of rage. The other students came always to me to complain about his strange behavior.

He was often silent and far too quiet for a boy of his age. But in the beginning I thought it was just a phase. The dark side was really powerful in him, I could feel it, but I could also feel a powerful attitude to the light.

I thought it was because he needed a teacher, someone who could guide him in the right direction. I was sure about my capacity to bring him to the light. But Ben… had a had this big secret about a voice taunting his dreams. It became more and more powerful as his sense of solitude and abandon was growing. But I didn’t understand a thing about it…Until it was too late and…I thought that his decision was made, but it wasn’t so…” And so Luke explained to them all what really happened that night in Ben’s hut. Rose put her hands on her mouth overturned and Poe passed nervously his hands on his hair another couple of times. But Finn was still looking at him with the same suspicious gaze he was wearing before.

“So…what about Rey? Don’t tell me that you asked her to save him?”

“No, it didn’t go this way” he answered “So, what happened? Earlier you told us that you refused to help her! I want to know why!” Finn’s eyes were embers on fire.

“She is as powerful as Ben Solo…I didn’t fear him then, I feared her in that moment… She seemed not to recognize the menace of the dark side at all… She…”

“The things you are saying doesn’t make any sense! Rey is a very simple and common girl" "Really? Are we takling about the same girl?" "Yeah, I mean... She came from Jakku!" "That hadn't ever be a problem. I am from Tatooine" Luke answered. And for a moment Finn's jaw was about to drop into the ground. He seemed speechless but then he retorted: "okay, but you and Kylo are heir of Dart Veder. For you is different. She doesn’t belong to any important family like yours…Her bloodline…”

“It's not just a question of bloodline. There is much more about the force you can't even imagine. It is present in every living being. So, believe it or not, Rey is one of the most powerful and gifted force user I ever met in my whole life” Luke asserted with conviction.

“I can’t believe that! So…what? Are you saying that now she is able to lift rocks with the force of her mind for example? Finn asked in puzzlement. Luke sighed exasperated while the other people presents looked at him at the same time.

“Why everyone thinks about the same stupid thing?” he murmured to himself remembering Rey’s assertion the first time he asked her if she knew what the force was.

“The force isn’t something you use to lift rocks….It’s more complicated than that!” he finally snarled. Behind him his sister started to laugh quietly for a moment.

Amused by Finn’s naivety about the force and by her long lost brother’s grumpy attitude towards the young man. The young boy full of enthusiasm and hope was still inside of him, deep under the layers of his pain and guilt, still struggling not to lose himself. And for a brief moment, the ache in Leia’s heart seemed to stop. But then the conversation went on. Finn looked in her direction, his eyes serious, his eyebrows furrowed.

A sudden realization had already caught him unprepared.

“That’s why you sent her to find Luke? Did you know that she was powerful with the force and you wanted to use her to have your son back!” he finally accused turning towards Laia, his gaze now full of rage and severity.

“I needed to find my brother to help us all” she answered but Finn’s gaze told her that he didn’t believe her. So, in the end, Leia choose to be sincere with him. Poe’s gaze find her own. He knew the truth and he was worried for her like a son would be. Leia thought that she was really lucky to have such a good substitute for her group of rebels. He had learned very much from his errors. Poe would have been a good leader. So she sighed heavily and finally found the strength to face Finn and the hard truth.

“Yes…I wanted my son back. But I could never imagined that the whole thing could go this way. It was my fault too” she admitted, one tear escaping from her right eyes. She suddenly composed herself, sweeping it away with the palm of her hand, her hearth still aching in her ribcage “I had never wanted to sacrifice Rey for that reason… I felt that she needed something too and my only hope was that finding Luke she could have found what she needed too” Leia concluded, her gaze now glued to Finn’s.

“She is just a scavenger from Jakku! She didn’t belong to the resistance , or to your messy family! She was looking for her parents and she has got a big heart, but you shouldn’t have used her as a lure for that monster because of her powers!”

“We didn’t!” stopped him Luke with a hint of angry in his voice.

“This was only Snoke’s plan! Not ours! My fault had been the same of the previous time. I couldn’t see what was right in front of my eyes…I failed her, just like I failed with Ben” “Stop using complicated words and tell me how’s it possible that Rey had chosen to go to him willingly!” Finn barked “He was the one who wanted her power! But what could she want from him? Kylo Ren had her captured and tortured! She hate him!”

“A mind trick!” stepped in Rose Tico. Everyone looked in her direction and the little young girl blushed for a moment under the gaze of the old jedi, but she continued “it is possible that Kylo Ren had convinced her to go to him altering her will, isn’t it?”

“It’s not what had happened” Luke answered dryly.

“But that’s to be the reason!” Finn exclaimed with agitation “Because unless he had used some mind trick on her, she wouldn’t…”

“They have bond! A force bond!” Luke finally said.

And for a moment the whole room stay silent.

“A what?” finally Finn broke the silence.

“Do you mean a sort of…connection?” asked Rose in bewilderment. Finn and Poe looked at her at the same time, with horror.

“Stop babbling nonsense Rose!”

“Luke, are you sure? It is true…my son and Rey are really sharing something so powerful?” asked Leia, her heart racing, the ache still growing into her soul. It was as if a sward made of hope was piercing her from inside.

“Yes” Luke answered to Leia, ignoring the other young kids arguing a few steps aside. “It’s not a common thing even between force users” he continued “It’s ancient and mysterious and I don’t know much about it, but I’m afraid we have lost her…” “Why are you saying so Luke?” his sister’s eyes were burning with longing and determination.

“Because she is so young Leia…and full of passion and…She reminds me…” he started “She reminds you to your younger self, isn’t it?” she smiled, a sad smile. Luke smiled at her back with a knowing gaze.

“So why didn’t you help her?” Finn stepped in another time with fury. “I tried. After a while I chose to teach her something about the force. But she didn’t listen to me. She was attracted to the dark side and she even didn’t try to resist to it’s call”

“Not my Rey! The girl you are talking about isn’t the same I met on Jakku!” Finn suddenly replayed.

“Finn! I told you she could be different!” said Rose “You didn’t know her very well even before”

“You are wrong! I told you that she isn’t that kind of person! Rey wouldn’t have been lured by the obscurity. If anyone would be attracked by it, this should be the mighty jedi you stand in front of!” Luke’s harsh expression met Finn’s and the two stared at each other for a while before to speak again. “I closed myself to the force” he finally admitted, “I didn’t understand how bright the light inside of her was, until I opened my eyes, but it was too late…” he paused and everyone was holding his breath by now “She thought she could bring him back, she wasn’t scared from his darkness. She told me that she could see the light in him. But I failed.

I couldn’t really teach her how to defend herself form the obscurity. And now, if she’s still alive, I am afraid that she is his prisoner or worst, Snoke’s new apprentice”. So Luke explained them about the episode of the hut and the fight he had with Rey before she gone away with Chuwie on board of the Falcon.

“They were standing there in the hut, eye to eye, holding their hands… Even now I really can’t explain how it was possible that he was there… I tried to stop them, but it was too late. They had already this thing between them and she was so full of rage…”

“It’s not possible! We have to save her! Brake this spell!” Finn said with resolution.

“I am afraid it can’t be cut off” Luke replied, “I’m sorry kid. A force bound is something that goes above all of my comprehension. Even with all the knowledge that I have, I couldn’t do anything about it”

“But we can’t let her bonded with such a monster! He will destroy her!” “I am sorry Finn, I can’t really help her anymore. She has chosen her path” “Luke…” his sister called to him. He turned towards her just in time to see how much pale her face was and how much pain there was behind her eyes.

Then the young man caught his attention one more time. “But…how do we know she’s safe? We need to help her!” Finn finally asked “And more important, I mean…You were scared by Ben Solo’s power and you tried to murder him. Your own nephew. How do we know you are telling the truth? Maybe you are blaming Snoke and Kylo while the real threat here is just you! I can’t believe you! What did you do to Rey?” and Finn’s voice didn’t admit any misunderstanding. He had just express an accuse.

A growled break the silence of the room. Chewbacca really seemed annoyed by Finn’s attitude. The young man had already learned to communicate with him in a really basic way, and so he understood some of his roars.

“What? Are you sure?” he asked in response “can you repeat please?” And so Chewbacca growled other several times, reporting the words that Rey had told him before she left on the escape pod. At that point, the former stormtrooper fell down on his knees in the salty dust of the mine. “What did he just said?” asked Rose with irrepressible curiosity. “It can’t be” breathed quietly Finn while his eyes started to fill with tears.

“Do you believe me, now?” finally asked Luke Skywalker with a deeply concerned expression. Leia Organa felt her heart aching painfully in the same moment she realized that the young girl had fallen in love with her son. Ther was still hope for him, just like Luke had already told them speaking of what had happened on Ach-to. Her lungs suddenly felt empty, her head heavy.

Poe Dameron was there in a while, helping her not to crush on the floor beating her head on the ground. C3PO was waving his arms upon his head, stuttering like he never did in his whole live “We need a medical droid! Immediately! The Princess needs assistance…Please help!” he yelled.

“We don’t have any unit left…It’s just you, BB and Artoo!” Poe replied with a hint of fear in his voice. And C3PO started to move his limbs even much frantically in agitation. Luke Skywalker was suddenly at Poe’s side.

“Leia!”

……………………………………………..

 

Rey was shivering under his touch. Her eyes were closed, and little moans of pleasure were escaping from her puffy lips. Kylo couldn’t believe she was really there, on his bed, between his harms. He was staring at her face drinking in every expression she made. Rey was biting at her lower lip, her face was flushed and Kylo could feel the heat of her body, the slickness and the wetness of her fold directly into his fingers. He could feel her body clenching around them, his own desire was growing uncontrollable at the sensation of the thrusts of her hip towards him to meet his hand.

She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Kylo’s erection was painfully tight in his trousers; his blood was rushing into his veins. His hand was moving faster now, his fingers were going in and out of her at the rhythm of her little whimpers. He pushed harder when he felt a wave of pleasure hitting his mind, her mind. But then she complained a little, her body stiffen. And he could feel the pain mingle with the pleasure.

“Sorry… it was a bit hard…” she whispered in a voice that she didn’t recognized as hers. His face was lost in the sight of her. The pale skin of his face now was completely flushed and hot as hell, just like hers. He tried to find a new peace and he slowed down for a while, not wanting to hurt her. But then he could feel her impatience through the force and so he returned to move faster. She started to shiver uncontrollably, her cheeks on fire.

Kylo coulnd’t take his eyes off of her. Her pert nose, her soft lips, her big eyes. She was so beautiful when she whimpered in pleasure under his ministrations. He wished he could stay close to her like that forever, admiring the beauty of her face, the little expressions of delight she made, the way she used to bit her lips not to moan too loud.

He drank in all of that, until Rey whimpered his name in an incredibly harsh voice and Kylo had to fight with himself not to coming into his pants hearing that sweet sound. He closed his eyes, stopping to touch her and breathed hard. His mind was foggy

“Oh Ben…” she said, a bit disappointed. Why did he stopped? Whatever he was doing to her, it was feeling great. Rey had never felt so aroused in her whole life, but suddenly the realization that he was aroused too stopped her from complaining. She looked at him with embarrassment and joy.

He had been so kind to her, so genuine. He didn’t seem anymore that brutal dark warrior she had seen once in a nightmare. He seemed much more like the prince of a fairytale. He blushed at the sight of his bare abdomen and her eyes lingered upon his muscular features for a long moment before to go back to his own eyes. Kylo was looking at her with hungry eyes. His fingers were still soaked with her humors when he looked back at them.

Then he lifted his face and started to kiss her on the lips. She kissed him back with the same hunger. Rey was astonished by the sensations she was feeling. Her body was on fire. She even couldn’t think it would be so good to be touched by someone. She could feel Kylo’s arousal through the force and now she was determined to make him feel as good as he already did to her.

The only problem was that she felt completely paralyzed by shame and, more over, she didn’t even know how to pleasure him. He was still dressing his trousers and she had no idea how to behave. She hadn’t ever seen a human man completely naked before. But she was also determined to go on and find it out once and for all.

Because it was him, and it felt so damn right to have such an intimacy with Ben. Just like in the cave, where she should have been terrified or trapped, instead she knew that she was following the right path.

“Ben…” she finally murmured, her eyes locked into his, his right hand slightly tracing the profile of his face, the scar she gave him and finally his soft hair. She loved his smooth hair.

Those raven curls, so soft to touch, so wild into his head right now. Rey brushed her fingers into his scalp and Kylo shivered at the sensation. He swallowed a couple of time trying inhaling deeply, his eyes shut. “Oh Rey” he murmured her name opening his eyes, then he looked at her intensely. She was completely at his mercy, under his body, her legs opened, her core wet of her moisture, but much more important, her face was the face of an angel.

The most beautiful creature he had ever seen. So pure, so innocent and at the same time so full of need and desire just as him. Rey traced with her fingers the outline of his abdomen, then she finally reached for the dark fabric of his trousers, determined to having more. He immediately reached for her hand before she could properly touch his most mysterious part.

“Rey,” he breathed on her face. She looked at him fearless and needy. “Please Ben…I want to see you too” she said and then she moved her gaze away, not finding the courage to look at him. Instead, Kylo looked at her for a long moment, his breath ragged. He kissed her on the lips and after another moment of silence he finally reached for the edge of his pants.

“Are you sure sweetheart?” his eyes were big and needy dark pools, his voice so low and husky shat it made her shiver. She nodded a couple of times biting her lower lip while he adjusted himself to take off his last layers of fabric. Kylo’s hands were trembling when he stood up from the bed to slide down his garments. He stopped another time.

“You’re not ready…You can’t even look at me right now” he said, a deep sadness in his voice.

“We didn’t have to…I think it’s okay even if…” he stuttered but in that moment Rey found the courage to look back at him. “I want this Ben…please” she almost pleaded. Then she got up and reached for him sitting on her knees. She lifted one hand and cupped his face looking into his black eyes.

“Don’t be afraid… I feel it too” she said with a light sweet smile that warmed his hunted hearth. Rey touched his abdomen, his nipples and brushed her fingertip on them intently looking into his eyes Kylo felt his body metling under her touch. Form that moment she dind’t lose the contact with him neither for a second. She was embarrassed, but she was also as eager as him to discover how many things she could about his body.

And she wanted him to know that. So when the last layer was finally removed, she blushed terribly bud didn’t deflect her eyes. The black fuzz she had seen vanishing under his waistband was covering the big part of his groin. His thighs were extremely muscular, just like the rest of his body. And finally she could see the secret part of him she was so curious about. Black curls were surrounding a strange appendage that she had never seen before.

Human females didn’t have anything like that. Rey instantly knew that she was staring at the male attribute she had been so eager to see. It was erected right in front of her, and as the rest of his body it was huge. Rey instinctually shivered at that sight while he made a couple of steps in her direction, slowly and knowing. He invited her to lay down on his bed and she followed his hint. Her fingers tightening on his sheets. Then Kylo sat on the bed right near her and stared at her with awe.

His face was extremely red. She can feel his own embarrassment through the force. His eyes were full of fear, his movement forcefully affected. She reached for him, touching his broad chest with both her hands. “You are beautiful Ben, please, come here!” she said trying to reassure him, sweeping away her own fears. He came closer to her, shivering under her touch.

Then he kissed her on the lips, an awkward kiss full of concern that spoke of his inexperience. She kissed him back, meanwhile her fingers lowered to touch his abs. He shivered another time, and when a deep moan escaped from his mouth he instantly brought his hands to cover it.

“I-I am sorry” he murmured, completely overwhelmed by the situation.

The only bodily contact he was used to have was always to fight back an enemy and stay alive. And thanks to his powerful mastery of the force, he didn’t have to touch another human being in years. Since Snoke had ordered him to kill all of his knight, the only touch he remembered wasn’t direct to harm him, had been the caress of his father on his cheek. The moment after he had stroked his sward into his chest. And then Rey’s hand, through the force.

Until this moment. Her fingertip was light as a feather on his starved skin. He was completely bare by now and he wasn’t used to that kind of sweet contact just like her. His body was overreacting, even too eager to touche her and to be touched. He could feel the heat of her body under his own, and she was already so wet into her core.

Her smell too was intoxicating. He inhaled sharply her sweet scent and almost growled in pleasure. Then Rey put her arms behind his neck and kissed him with so much passion he couldn’t resist her anymore. He started to grind his body into hers. She moaned with pleasure into his ear, starting to brush her inner tights against his hard member, chasing for the same pleasure he had already give to her with his fingers.

The instinct was guiding them in that primal dance new for them both. They kissed each other passionately, while their hands were roaming and brushing the body of the other, full of curiosity and need. Finally happy to fulfill their own longings.

His erected member brushed against her inner thigh and she moaned. Then he adjusted himself and pushed towards her core but he brushed again against her tight. He was excited like never in his whole life and even Rey seemed to be impatient, but he didn't know exactly what to do to gain the courage to go on. He was afraid to disappoint her. The mere idea frightened him at the point he wasn't sure he could really go on. But then his stiffen member brushed against her inner tight one last time, then he finally touched her fold and Rey moaned in pleasure so loudly he even stop to think. Kylo himself felt puzzled and full of bewilderment at the contact with the heat of her wet core. And if after he had buried himself in that warmt he would have died, then, he could have take the risk because he couldn't wait anymore. Rey too didn’t knew that he was doing to her but she liked it very much. She didn’t knew why she doesn’t want him to stop, but she was sure about it.

She wanted to be his, to belong to someone just like Ben wanted to belong to her. So when he started to push his swollen member against her core with much more intensity, she screamed his name in pleasure and let herself go. Kylo kept kissing her and murmured soft and sweet words into her ear while he finally ground his hard member into her wet core.

…………………………………………….

“Try me” Luke Skywalker had just challenged him. His blu eyes were piercing directly into his soul. Finn swallowed hard a couple of times before to answer. “I know there is a way”. Luke stared back at him in disbelief but he listened patiently while the former stormtrooper was struggling to find the right words.

“You lied when you said that the bound can’t be broken. I am sure about it. And if you don’t know how, maybe someone else knows…And I am going to ask to an old friend to help me” and Finn was thinking about Maz in thatm moment “with or without you! Even if…” and then he gazed at the barded old man with resolve “I will be really glad if you would agree to come with me” and then he sighed.

“Why? You don’t even trust me!” Luke answered dryly.

“Yes, but what other choice have I?” he retorted, “You are the only one who can help me to save her! You told me that she was right till the beginning about you and the fact that the resistance needed you…”

“Yes, and that’s why I can’t leave them right now that I am here and my sister Leia is…” but then Luke stopped. He felt a great pull in the force, Leia’s plea still lingering in his mind. He had just promised her he would have done everything in his power to take Kylo back. But that promise wasn’t possible to keep.

Or was it? Because he couldn’t believe he was still giving up about his nephew and even about Rey. Suddenly the old man looked at his robotic hand and sighed in frustration. That day, when he lost his right hand, the one made of flesh and blood, in exchange he had learned a very important lesson about good and evil.

A lesson he apparently had forgotten through the years. Nobody was truly, really lost. Not forever. Since that day he made his decision to save his father’s soul and in the end he had come back. A part of him knew, deep in his hearth, that maybe, Rey had hoped to do the same for Kylo.

But as his choice to leave his training before the time was mature, had brought him to lose his hand, maybe Rey’s choice would have brought her to lose even more of herself. Snoke was too powerful for her and Luke wasn’t sure about his nephew’s pull to the light, since his furred friend told him what he did to Han.

Was there still hope for Ben Solo? What he could may do to bring him back to the light? He had come back just to help the Resistance, not knowing how to approach his personal family’s issues more than before. Luke had expected to fight against the first order’s fleet like the old times. But now there wasn’t any enemy on a battlefield to fight and that the Resistance had a new alliance with Lando, so he knew, deep in his hearth what he had to do.

The force was speaking to him, telling him what his place was. But this young and apparently angry guy who was standing in front of him, Luke wasn’t sure if he was ready to understand. Could he trust him? He really seem to hate Kylo Ren as much as he seemed to like Rey. How could the whole thing evolve from now? Luke stared at him with a knowing gaze. He didn’t know why, but the force was speaking and it was saying that he was in the right place.

Meanwhile Finn’s lips were tense in a right line. Now or never.

“There was a way” Luke murmured, transfixed and Finn hoped that he was going to confess about his choice to burn the books. Because if he was going to be sincere, then, maybe… maybe he could have trusted him. Luke was really trying to open himself, right now. Finn wouldn’t really want to trust the old Jedi, but he also knew that he was his only hope to save his friend.

Unfortunately, he needed him. And so, in the end, he made his choice. He would have trusted him if he had told the whole story about those ancient texts.

“What do you mean?” He tried to probe him. If Luke would have told him about the books, maybe…

“There were some ancient books” he confessed and Finn’s hearth skipped with joy. “But I am afraid it’s too late. They were ancient texts, very old knowledge…But it’s all gone by now…Everything burned in the end…I am sorry” and there was true regret in his words. His eyes were sad and Luke couldn’t look into Finn’s eyes anymore. Finn’s next question was instinctive.

“Why did you burned them?” he asked. Luke froze for a while but then he answered, “I never told you I was the one to burned them…” he retorted suspiciously “but I tried, so many times….In the end, a lightening burned the ancient Uneti tree and all the knowledge it was inside of him…I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t even chose to do it” he admitted “I was going to stop for the umpteenth time”.

And so a decision was made. Finn decided to do the only thing he could. There wasn’t any other way. The force was hammering in contentment around them, herald of good fate.

“I am afraid you are wrong” Finn answered with a smirk, then he slowly opened the drawer where the books were hide and Luke’s face enlightened in amazement.

“And you don’t even know how much glad I am about this” Luke whispered. He couldn’t believe at his eyes. So maybe there was still a chance.

He looked at Finn intensely. “Rey!" Luke breathed. That girl was still a surprise to him. So full of resoruces, so full of hope. And Luke finally felt that same hope growing inside of him. 

"Are you goning to help me right now?" Finn asked. His eyes burning. 

 

Continua...


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chatper is all about Rey and Kylo. Enjoy :)

His body was burning with lust and need. His soul was singing with relieve and a very uncommon sensation of joy was fulfilling his mind. Thrust after thrust he could feel the pleasure growing inside of him together with his sense of completion. Ben Solo had never experienced that kind of intimate contact in all of his life and he couldn’t be happier to finally have the occasion to savor a moment of peace after a life of anxiety and rejection.

Because she had stayed and moreover, Rey was moaning and shivering under his body. Her beautiful hazel eyes were closed, her fingers tangled into his hair, moving upon his neck, rubbing slightly his skin with her fingernails. They were both breathing heavily, enraptured by the moment. It sounded really crazy to be with her like that. Totally crazy and even too good to be true. But it was. Ben could feel the heat of her body around his hard member, his hands were brushing against her stiffened nipples, touching her soft tits and he was losing himself in the sensation.

So was Rey, overwhelmed by the feeling of him inside of her, his imposing muscular chest right upon her own, his strong arms at each side of her face, his hungry eyes were piercing into her soul. She hadn't really imagined he could have such a beautiful eyelash. The little moles of his neck were so strange upon his white skin, so many as she couldn’t have imagined because of the black garments he used to cover himself. The shadow of his beard was almost visible under the dim light of Kylo's room. But she could feel the uneven surface of his chin against her left cheek, his particular scent was filling her nostrils.

She inhaled deeply and then a little moan of pleasure escaped from her mouth. Rey couldn’t recognize herself, letting this man touching her body everywhere, allowing him to accommodate between her legs and enjoying it that much. She had never thought about finding someone as a mate before. Her only interest before had always been finding her lost parents, then she had chosen to help the resistance against the first order, but now, now everything was different. Her priority had changed, her dreams had been broken and so she had to follow another path, one that leads her directly into the arms of Ben Solo.

Did she become crazy giving herself to him so easily? They barely had the occasion to talk with each other, after all that happened, but it was like she knew him for a lifetime. Since their mind had connected that day on Starkiller base, Rey had known much things about him that she could know about herself. And Kylo knew about her past too, without she had to explain to him a single thing. Maybe she should have been mad at him because of that first intrusion in her mind, instead, she was just glad to have met him and she was also glad he was feeling the same about her.

So here she was, under his muscular body, whimpering with pleasure at every thrust of his hips against her core. And she liked it, she liked it so much. She loved the sensation of his wild hair under her touch, the smell of his sweat around his neck, the look in his eyes while he was sinking deeper inside of her. She liked his strong arms while he was holding her hips to help himself thrusting inside of her faster. It was the most similar sensation to full joy she had ever felt in her whole life.

She really couldn’t stare at him, too overcome by her churning emotions, but she was also too curious not to look at his face. So while Ben seemed to be distracted by her tits, Rey, pretending not to stare at him, sucked at her lower lip with frustration and lust, not knowing how to behave but desperately wanting to touch him in turn.

He was really handsome, she thought, and also what he was doing to her was incredibly good. She really liked to be touched in that way but she also wanted to touch him back. So Rey finally decided to let her shyness apart and she started to brush her fingers on his nipples with precision, mimicking what he had just done to her. Hearing him losing his control under her touch, her arousal was grooving inside of her like a wave.

His wild eyes darted in her direction as soon as she started to brush his sensitive spot. Those dark pools were so full of love and devotion she felt goosebumps forming on her skin. A growl escaped from Ben’s mouth and she shivered, a bit astonished and a bit pleasured by the sensation of being the cause of so much enthusiastic reaction. Kylo’s skin was sensitive and his eyes were drinking in the image of Rey, taking note of the little freckles upon her nose, the green shade of her eyes, the little smirk she made around her lips when he was touching her like that.

He exhaled hard, gripping his hands around the sheets, trusting his hips even deeper inside of her. Rey grasped harder into his hair with her fingers and let him kiss her on the neck, letting out a deep moan. She still couldn’t believe she was actually there in his bed, her legs spread, her mind blank, feeling that strange, sweet, unfamiliar sensation of pleasure growing inside of her core at every thrust of his hip. Her mind was buzzing in confusion.

Her body was on fire. She could feel the heat of his body pressed against hers, inside of her. Rey was burning from the inside. She leaned her head on the pillow and breathed hard while she tried to keep his fast peace moving towards his hip with her own. Ben was pushing harder at every moment and she started to feel almost sore for the effort to go on. In the beginning, he had been really kind, keeping asking her if it was okay when she had grimaced because of the pain of the first thrust.

She wasn’t sure about it, but she had expected to feel only pleasure from their strange and intimate contact and so, when the pain had arrived she had tightened her jaw, caught by a sudden rush of fear and astonishment.

Suddenly he had felt her sensations through their bound and so he had stopped, worried to have been too rude. Rey could tell that he had made a big effort to stop sliding inside of her body with his length, pleased as he was at the sensation, but his eyes had been full of concern as long as she had looked back at him to tell that she was all right.

Then he had kissed her and kissed her and licked her neck and jaw and tits with such a passion that Rey had forgotten about the pain as soon as it had arrived. Then and only then he had kept sliding inside of her, with much more confidence than before.

Rey knew he wanted to be gentle as he had promised but after a few thrusts, Ben had lost his usual self-control, starting to growl meaningless words in her ears and scaring her a little bit as new at the thing she was. And Rey had to fight back her own embarrassment about his words not knowing what to think about all of that.

“Oh, stars…” “You are mine…” “Kriff” “Oh please don’t ever go away” “I knew it was you” “ Oh Sweetheart” “Oh it feels so good” Rey didn’t properly answer at him.

She simply decided to let out some sort of exclamations too. Simple untied thoughts like: “Mmmm… Ben!” “Oh, force” and “For all the sandstorms”, “Oh Ben”, “Yes, please like that” and a couple of curses that she remembered Unkar was used to repeat when he was particularly surprised. He didn’t seem to mind even when she involuntarily hit his chin with her head, nor when she held him closer and she ground her fingernails in his back at the point to hurt.

On the contrary, he seemed to like it very much, because he started to kiss her even more passionately. At the same time, she didn’t complain too much when he nipped at her nipples a bit too eagerly, not when he bit her tongue in the rush of the moment or when his elbow punched her into her belly. They were pure instinct at that moment, not caring about anything else apart from the other and their own need.

She couldn’t tell what she was feeling about all that situation because her rational part was now totally asleep. Rey was just needed and longing just like Ben who was still grinding his hips into her core and she didn’t want him to stop. Because now she could finally understand what she had lost for all those years of loneliness. The chance to belong to someone, the chance to be loved and feel comforted. Finally, it was just like they were both free of their own loneliness once and for all. The pleasure inside of her body was growing together with Ben’s.

He was looking at her so intensely that she felt breathless under his huge body, the heat overpowering. She couldn’t tell how much time they passed tangled in that manner, their sighs and sweat and saliva mixing together. After a while, Ben’s forehead was soaked with his own sweat, his hair a mass of black wild curls.

His abdomen was sweaty too but Rey couldn’t really mind about that, she was too lost in the pleasure of his ministrations upon her body, lost in the sensation of fulfillment he was giving to her. Ben Solo was almost at the apex of his pleasure. His mind was a storm of sensations and thoughts, memory, hopes. The desire for her taking advantage of his rationality. There wasn’t room for fear right now, no more anxiety, no more failure, no more need to succeed in something he didn’t really care about.

There was just her, only, her. His everything. Rey. And so Kylo felt that his body and mind were going to blew up. He breathed hard. A sudden realization hitting his mind. He tried to pull away from her, hating the idea to let her go but knowing what he had to do. They didn’t really cared about precaution, not even for a single moment he could have imagined that they would have done that so soon. He wasn’t prepared yet.

Not that he hadn't fantasized about it, but things had gone unexpectedly far for them both. Probably she had got an implant to prevent pregnancy, because the most of the women of her age in Coruscant, usually had one. But he knew she was from Jakku and that planet wasn’t exactly the best stronghold of human health and civilization. And even if she seemed perfectly healthy, he was almost sure she hadn’t ever met a real doctor before her visit to the Supremacy. So Ben knew she probably didn’t have the implant system to prevent pregnancy and he was almost there.

He knew what he had to do right now, but when he moved away from her, almost at the apex of his pleasure, Rey brought him closer to her. She held him tight against her body with a strength he didn’t expect and he wished he would have been stronger but he felt overwhelmed, intoxicated by her sweet scent, the warmth and the wetness of her core.

The heat of her body swallowing his hard member was too much for a guy who hadn't ever experienced nothing but loneliness before. he couldn’t really stop. Rey was on fire too, not knowing a single thing about what he was thinking about. She only wanted him to fulfill her more and more. So when the young girl felt Ben moaning out loud her name in a rough voice she hadn't ever heard before, she didn’t understand what was going on.

“Oh Rey….Kriff….Kriff….” he said in that low and guttural animalistic voice that made her shiver with pleasure. Then he stopped to grind inside of her holding her hips with both his hands to hold her still for a while, hiding his face into her collarbone, almost collapsing on her body.

Then she suddenly felt a gush of something wet and hot invading her core and she remained still, a bit shocked and a bit disappointed about the fact that he had stopped to move above her, not knowing what to think or what to do. But then she felt the wave of pleasure and absolute bliss that he was feeling, through the force and she swallowed hard completely overwhelmed by the sensation. Her body was blowing.

She looked at him, breathless, at his puffy red lips, his glossy brown eyes now covered by a lock of his wild curls. He was biting his lower lip, his breath highly irregular. The expression on his face was something she had never seen before in her whole life. She felt too embarrassed to stare at him longer even if seeing him like that felt a sort of privilege, she knew she should have taken advantage of. They breathed in silence for a while, drinking every drop of that sweet pleasure they hadn’t ever experienced before until it gradually faded.

Their hearth beat slowed down and so did the flow of their blood in their veins. “Rey” he finally called to her, and his voice was so husky it made her shiver again. Their bodies were still connected just like their souls “Oh Kriff… I am sorry…I couldn’t…” he murmured still in ecstasy but sounding drowsy.

“I am okay” she answered even if she couldn’t really understand what had just happened or what was he apologizing for. She was as happy as she had never been in her life, holding him against her body, her arms wrapped against his torso, his face pressed on her chest and a deep sensation of joy making a room into her mind.

“Ben… I am happy to be here with you…” she said and then a tear escaped from one of her eyes. He barely registered the fact, trying to regain the control of himself.

“Rey…I should have stopped before…” he bubbled still shocked with the sensation of pure bliss he was feeling, trying to articulate the sentence anew. But then Rey kissed him strongly, pushing him slightly away from her and then switching their positions, to have room to accommodate herself upon his chest, not ever losing eye contact with him. His face was red as hell, his eyes glassy and his pupils so black and big that he reminded her at the little porgs she had found on Ach-to.

She instinctually smiled at him, sweeping away her own tear with the palm of her hand. Then she felt taken aback when he smiled too in her direction. He was even much handsome when he smiled. But his light smile vanished even too soon when he tried to speak again. “Rey…I should have asked you before…” he started but then Rey finally seem to find the courage inside of her to really let herself go.

She started to lick at his nipples, her core still brushing against his softening erection. She couldn’t stop herself, still needy and full of longing for him. Ben would have told her that he was totally sorry about that because they should have thought about precaution and moreover now they have to wait a minute for him to be ready but… she was so eager to slide against him.

He felt his erection reinvigorate in the same moment she started to ride him, pushing his arms against his bed, her boobs bouncing up and down were so hypnotic…He lost himself inside of her for the second time, losing the tide of his thoughts about, whatever he was thinking before she started to touch him in that way.

He wasn’t caring at all about the fact that she was taking the lead of that intoxicating dance because he liked it. Too amazed at the sight of her beautiful face staring at him with awe and desire, he lost his worry for the fact that they hadn’t used any precaution and let himself enjoy all of that. Free for once in his whole life.

Continua...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hy everyone from Italy. Here there is really really hot... Usually I hate high temperatures, really. I find that everything's much difficult when there is hot, even reading or writing... 38°C are too much. I know that this chapter was shorter than the last ones, but I wanted to post it before vacation, hoping you liked it and... Please don't hate me for the idea to speak about sexuality in this way. I am tryng to be realistic and at the same time, this is a fanfiction about Star Wars so, I know it don't have to be too much realistic, but I like to imagine things in this way. And much more importat, this is a big clue about how the story is going to go in the next chapters. I didn't wrote this in the tags because i did't want to spoiler. I hate spoilers.  
> I read a lot of fanfiction about sex and explicit content about sex, but I didn't ever found anything like this. I am talking about the coitus interruptus (that, guys, I hope you know, it isn't a contaceptive means...). Maybe is not sexy to read about it, and here he didn't even succede, but not talking at all about that sounded strange. Kylo must to know about anatomy and pregnancy, al least the theory... Don't you agree? let his do that to her not even caring about it was too rough. She loves her and more over I don't think he would have the desire to became father so soon... Also, I didn't read a single fic in which they talked to each ogher while... You know... I thought it could be funny and realistic... But I don't knowm maybe is sounds just strange...Awkward sex is the best for two young lovers that had never done it before. But they are also fast lerners, we will see. Anyway I hope you enjoyed the idea. And please, if you want me to know your opinion, leave me a comment. I would be really glad. Kudos :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we are getting further into the plot I had in mind till the beginning.

“So…will you help me?” Finn asked.

His eyes firm and solid and his voice strong.

“No” was the unexpected answer of the old Jedi in front of him. The former stormtrooper seemed taken aback for a while, but then Luke continued “or at least not in the way you are expecting… Having those books doesn’t change anything. Don’t you understand? Demanding to close their bond would be like demanding to the sun not to rise again. IT’S NOT POSSIBLE!” Finn was about to retort with some motivating words when Luke suddenly felt a deep wave of pain filling his chest.

The swift in the force was brief and unexpected, and he didn’t have the time to sit down before his knees gave out.

Finn didn’t understand immediately what was happening, but without any hesitation, he helped the Jedi master to get up, but he didn’t seem to have any intention to move.

“Is everything okay?” He didn’t answer. “Luke?” An expression of pure grief was now portrayed into the face of the last of the Jedi. It didn’t take Finn much to know that the situation was quite the opposite. Nothing was okay. The bearded old man didn’t want to help him to save Rey from Kylo Ren’s grasp, and moreover, he could tell by the goosebumps forming upon his skin that something terrible was going to happen. But was only when Rose Tico stormed back into the Falcon, that he finally knew.

The young girl had tearful eyes and a mournful expression on her face that didn’t forecast anything good. “Master Jedi Skywalker…” she started but then she stopped, unable to continue. “Rose…what’s going on?” he finally asked full of concern. Under Finn’s impatient gaze she suddenly tried to say something. But the words never left her mouth, until Luke spoke again.

“Leia” he breathed in a low voice full of concern. His beloved sister, the princess that once asked for the help of the old Ben Kenobi, changing his life and the destiny of the whole galaxy forever, thanks to her brave spirit and the hope that she was bringing with her, was going to die.

“She went in a coma just a moment ago. Her body is too compromised because of the radiation she took when she remained in space. Her heart is very weak. The doctor says it would be better to stay by her side right now. She is going to leave us soon” Rose sniffed, finally letting her own emotion taking advantage of her.

“We didn’t expect that her conditions became so bad. We should hurry to move from Crait and look for a new base where to hide, but right now Lando is arguing with Poe about the new location and… Could you please go there and say something?” Luke stayed silent for a while. He hated the fact that the young girl was shoving so much trust in him. She addressed him like a legend, a legend he wasn’t anymore, or he had never been before. What she didn’t know was that he was just an old man.

A tired man whose dying sister had just asked the impossible as her last wish. And the young boy in front of him was arguing to obtain the exact opposite. Luke sighed heavily and tried to focus on the force around him. Just when both Rose and Finn started to think that he wasn’t going to answer anymore, he finally spoke.

He would have told them not to bother him anymore with their questions and arguments, but the turmoil in the force seemed to ask him to acknowledge that he had come to the resistance for a reason. Maybe he wasn’t the legend they thought, but he was still a Skywalker and his sister’s cause now, after a long defection, was once again his own. And also the young girl, Rey, he knew deep into his heart that he had to do something even for her. Because without her he wouldn’t ever come back to the force. And so he answered.

“Don’t worry about Lando. I’ll talk to him. He is an old friend and I am sure that we can find a good compromise”. A big smile, full or relieve, blossomed into Rose’s face in an instant.

“I knew you would have helped us…I am going to tell Poe that you are willing to help now," She replied "Sorry but I have to check some old x-wings before to leave the planet. Anyway, Leia would be carried into the main ship in a while…Lando and General Dameron will be there waiting for your advice”. And after saying that she vanished with the same quickness as she came.

Her moral undoubtfully enlightened by the words Luke had spent for her. Instead, Finn was still looking at the bearded man with a serious frown. “And what about Rey? Do you have a better suggestion to save her?”

“Are you so sure she needs to be saved? She left willingly. I told you” Finn’s gaze hardened. “What?!” he sounded indignant “What if…” and Finn eyes watered in the fraction of a moment, not being even able to find the words to give a voice to his thoughts “what if she had been tortured or even killed…We can’t just abandon her to her fate not knowing what’s happening out there…”

“I know she is alive thanks to the force. What we don’t know is if she is in danger. Before to get lost in the reading of some old and obsolete texts we should at least know if it would be useful”.

“So. If not to close the bond between her and that monster what you suggest?” he asked, then his face seemed to enlighten with an idea at the same time he was talking.

“Right! Maybe we could find a way to talk to her thanks to the technology Lando had brought with him. We know she is on the Supremacy, so what we have to do is just…”

“Too dangerous. We will end up letting them know about us. Their technology is far better than ours or Lando’s. The risk is to be discovered and waste the little vantage we have gained in the last hours. We can’t risk the whole resistance sake’s for her” Luke promptly answered.

“But we don’t have time! Maybe in this same moment, she is agonizing and we are still here talking…” Finn was almost there to lose his self-control when Luke sputtered one last sentence that suddenly stopped his impetus. “If you put it that way…I think there is something else we could try” “You have got my attention” Finn answered without any hesitation “Is it a Jedi thing?” “More or less” Luke answered holding the gaze of the young boy.

His blue eyes glowing of a new light. “I didn’t do that in a while, and maybe I am a bit rusty, but for a minute or two I think I would be able to do that again”

“So, what is it?” Finn chased “you know how to shield the communication like a sort of master codebreaker?”

“You know kid…The force bond is truly rare between force users. But it’s not the only way you can find someone even at light years of distance” and at that revelation, Finn’s breath hitched.

“What do you mean?” he asked. Then there was a pause. And finally, the old bearded man smiled at the former stormtrooper for the first time. “I will contact her through the force”

…………………………………………

Her overheated body clenched around his hard cock one last time, then she collapsed on the mattress, overwhelmed by exhaustion, his seed all over the sheets dripping down from her wet core. Kylo was breathing heavily just like after a long session of training in the gym room. However, this time, the muscles he had used to stay at her peace didn’t ache so much as the one he had ridden into his chest. His poor heart was as alive as it had never been in his whole life.

The feeling of her warmth was all around him. He had found himself wrapped into her harms before he could even think about it. Rey was breathing heavily, just like him. Her hazel eyes were searching for his ones. Her sweet hands were cupping his face into them. Her hair was spluttered all around her head, slightly covering even her red cheeks while the both of them was gasping for air, their ribcage rising and lowering frantically.

When she finally regained her breath, she tried to speak but he stopped her with a warm kiss on the mouth. Rey moaned deeply, allowing him to brush his tongue against hers for the umpteenth time that night, while her left hand started to tangle into his soft brown hair. The right one lowered to roam upon his smooth abdomen. When he pulled back looking for air, they stared in each other eyes for a long moment in which Rey felt a sparkle of joy inside of her belly.

Meanwhile Ben held her into his arms nuzzling at her neck in awe just before to brush his plump lips against her sensitive skin one last time. Then all she felt was his heavy breath against her collarbone. With his eyes shut, Kylo Ren fell asleep with Rey between his strong arms. The young girl followed, lulled by the warmth of his huge body pressed against hers. The fatigue taking the best over them

. ………………………………………

 

Rey would have sworn she had only just closed her eyes when she opened them again. Her mind was drowsy. For a perfect moment, she didn't feel anything but peace and a foreign sense of joy was warming her body from head to toes. But then she remembered what had just happened to her and a sudden fear reached her gut.

At the same moment, she felt the hot breath of the man who was sleeping near her, caressing slightly her cheek and the memories of the past few hours spent with him in his bed regained to consciousness. The soreness between her thighs was also a clue. A sudden memory of his thrusts within her core made her shiver with pleasure and shame at the same time. She was still feeling that unexpected and beautiful sensation upon all her body.

A fulfillment and a completion she had searched for her whole life. Even the memory of his harsh voice in her ears, his deep groans, and his nice words felt like a bliss. And for a brief moment, everything seemed right. But in a blink of an eye, Rey felt the tears coming up. Instead of being happy or satisfied, she suddenly felt desperate.

Because other memories regained to consciousness. The death of her friends by the hand of the first order made her inspire deeply before to let go a big sigh full of pain. Her wounded mind had just made fun of her. She had just woke up from a dream, a good dream, where her life hadn't gone upside down because of the first order, a life in which her parents were still alive and they hadn't sold her for a drink. A life in which the rebels hadn't fallen into space dust. But her fantasy was childish, she knew.

A trick her stupid mind had decided to make her believe, just to lift a stone from her poor heart. In the dream she had grown up on Jakku with her mom and dad and one day, Luke Skywalker had found her to teach her how to become a true Jedi.

He wasn't alone. Ben Solo, his nephew was with him. He was dressed in white and clear robes, the jacket was the same color of the sand, but his eyes were just the same hunted ones she had learnt to know in the last days thanks to the bond. They were as eager to look at her as they were in reality. But in her dream she wasn't surrounded by the people of the first order, she lived in a galaxy where the old establishment was still a beacon of light a hope for all the unfortunate souls who had to fight against an enemy bigger than them.

The reality was far too scary for her right now, even if the Supreme Leader Snoke was dead and she was just sharing the bed with the most powerful man in the whole galaxy, she knew that things shouldn’t have gone that way. She should have been the one to bring him back.

A big wave of shame hit her right in the stomach, her mind puzzled. Kylo Ren was there, asleep, just a few inches from her face. His head was crashed into his pillow, his eyes closed and his huge body was still pressed against hers with his left arm wrapped around her torso. The sheets had been thrown into the floor and so Rey had a perfect sight of his naked body.

His muscular thighs were just above his perfect round cheeks, so pale and so beautiful she couldn't really shift her gaze, too eager to discover new details about him. For a while he muttered something in his sleep she didn't really catch. Rey thought he was going to wake up, but then he started to snore slightly and so she found herself smiling at him caught by a sudden sense of tenderness. He was so beautiful and lovely with that expression on his face. She outstretched her hand to caress his face, but then she stopped and she was back blaming herself for her reckless behavior.

What had she done? How could she be so naive to spend the night with Kylo Ren? And moreover with such a hunger? Her face started to become red at the thought of how she had ridden him letting the pleasure take over her. He had let her do whatever she wanted with his body in a way, that now, seemed even too compliant she would have ever expected by a man like him.

Nor that she had done whatsoever so strange. She had felt embarrassed for almost all the time when her small tits had started to bounce up and down just in front of his gaze. The fact that he had started to bubble shameless things to her didn’t really help.

“Oh Force… Rey….You are so tight… Oh, it feels so good…I like your boobs, they are so perfect…” She had to kiss him hard to stop him saying all those things to her.

Until she lost herself in his thrusts once again. And there they were, completely naked, sleeping together into his quarter on the Supremacy. Rey shifted on the mattress, trying to put some distance between them. His eyelash snapped open in the same moment he felt her body heat vanish.

A sudden fear hit her strongly. What if she had been too rushed to let him get near her? Was he going to let her caged into his quarters forever? How was she supposed to act in his presence right now? Would he let her know about what was going on with the First Order like he had promised or…? His big black eyes were staring at her in awe and a soft, sweet smile wrinkled the angles of his mouth. Then she felt it, the big wave of pure adoration he sent to her through their bond.

And her heart melted under the light touch of his fingers brushing her left arm. And so she knew. What had just happened between her and the new supreme leader of the first order was something she may not know how to address properly, but she was sure thanks to his eyes, that was still there.

“Good morning” he addressed her in a low husky voice that she didn’t recognize. He cleared his voice with a couple of coughs, passing one of his big hands through his messy hair, swallowing right after. She saw him gazing at her and then biting at his lower lip with hunger and that simple gesture made her shiver. At that point, Rey smiled shyly back at him, suddenly managing to cover herself with the pillow, still not used to show her bare skin so easily.

“Morning” she murmured automatically not knowing what to say, too embarrassed to even look at him for more than a couple of seconds. He seemed surprised by her awkward behavior and his brows furrowed in a clearly disappointed expression.

“You are still hiding from me…” he murmured rubbing slightly his head “Am I that scary before I get up?” his voice was serious but the little smirk his lips were forming told her the unexpected.

Was he really joking with her? Rey could feel the anxiety he was hiding under that little smile he was showing, through their bond. And she suddenly sensed his force signature glowing inside of him. It was as if her conscience could touch his and so she immediately felt that same warm and safe wave of calmness that had brought her to him in the first place.

“I am sorry… It’s just…” her nose and cheeks were pink “…I am feeling you like never before” she said. He seemed to understand what she was saying even if the whole thing was a bit strange to him as well.

“Me too…” he said and in the same moment he lifts up from the bed to sit near her. She couldn’t stop herself and stared at his bare chest a bit too long for him not to notice. His smirk widened but he didn’t say a word. Too eager to kiss her beautiful face that was so incredibly sweet when she was embarrassed.

He cut the distance between them to give her a true “Good morning” and kissed on the lips. It was a light kiss, full of his own still present hindrance, but she made a little whimper of pleasure in the same moment his hands tangled into her beautiful brown hair.

Then a sudden thought came to his mind with urgency. What they had just done, even if had been fantastic and overwhelming, hadn’t been safe. She had to know about it and maybe have a talk with a doctor who could teach her the whole thing and gave her an implant so there won’t be problems when they… Yes, when they decided to get intimate one more time like that. Kylo felt a little puzzled about the events of the last hours.

He still had to get used to it. His master wasn’t anymore in his head, whispering to his brain. Instead, this young and wonderful woman was still here and she had shared everything with him. They were sharing this eternal bond right now and he had never felt so happy in his whole life. The fact that the galaxy could be at his feet was nothing compared to the fact that he wasn’t alone anymore. He was free, finally free of all the pain of the past.

Rey wanted him as much as she wanted her. They were destined to be together. Now he knew it clearly. Looking at her, Kylo Ren could feel the doubts that were taunting her mind right now. She was still incredulous about the fact that the resistance had been destroyed. This fact was a bit annoying to him.

Didn’t she see how useless that cause was? They have to build their own life with new rules. No more chains, no more Jedi or Sith telling them what to do with the force. He was sad for the end of his mother but he was also eager to go on. He was about to tell her everything when an even too familiar ungraceful voice busted in, ruining the moment.

“Ren….hem…” a sudden cough and then Hux’s voice continued, “I meant…Supreme Leader. Your presence is requested on the main bridge. It’s pretty urgent. Would you please…” he said. But Kylo Ren ignored him and suddenly switched off the intercom and turned to face his far more pleasant guest.

He tried to brush his lips against hers but Rey suddenly stopped him. “Ben…shouldn’t you listen to him? He said it was important…” Rey pointed out. Kylo Ren groaned in frustration before to answer with a very annoyed voice. “Hux’s is used to exaggerate about every issue. He would be able to define as urgent the lack of toilet paper in the lines of the storm troopers” he answered.

And so he tried to come back kissing her, not before having admired the sweet smile it was forming upon her lips. But then the channel to the deck snapped open once again and this time the hologram of the read head greeted them both with a second, dry scoff full of anger. Rey immediately covered herself with the pillow once again, while Ben tried to shield her nakedness behind his own body.

“Are you crazy Hux?” he barked at him, grinding his teeth.

But the look that the general gave to them both, a part an evident shade of disgust, seemed really concerned about something. His skin was paler than ever and his broken nose had been healed probably with the help of some balsam and a few gauze after the little surgery to get it right again.

Despite the whole thing and the pain he was undobtfully suffering, Hux’s nose had curled in disdain at the sight of the two almost naked body.

“I am sorry to interrupt your…mirth. But we have a problem”

“Don’t play around Hux. Just tell me and cut this conversation off!” “It would be better if we could talk eye to eye…You can thank me later for this. See you in ten minutes on the main bridge,” he snapped back, “And… of course, you are going to come alone and full dressed” he concluded with a hint of sarcasm, then the hologram went off and Kylo’s room light became brighter all at once.

……………………………………….

“Are you serious?” Finn couldn’t really believe at his ears. “For the whole time you had the power to contact her through the force and you didn’t ever mention it?” he accused.

A deep groaned escaped then from the mouth of the last of the jedi. “Sorry to having upset you, kid. But this is a big deal, far more than you can imagine. Doing such a thing would cost me a big amount of mental energy and, maybe you haven’t noticed yet, but I am not exactly in my best shape. I am old for these things” he retorted.

“Really?” Finn didn’t seemed to see the problem.

“Well, so why don’t you teach me what to do? I am far younger than you and I am a fast learner. Once I had even fought with a lightsaber. And much more important, I would to anything to help Rey!” At that point Luke shacked his head in frustration and rolled his eyes.

“Yes… Why didn’t I thought about it first? Let me think” he started with a little too caustic tone “Maybe it’s because it would took me years to teach you how to do that and maybe it would be even useless if you are not strong in the force?” he explained. “Well…I just thought…” Finn blurted out, now a little embarrassed.

“It’s alright kid. I can handle it by myself. I couldn’t be young anymore but I am still very tough. Now it would be better to hurry. Leia needs to be sent to a real med bay and we have to leave the planet before the first order’s spy could follow us” Luke finally declared.

And so Finn had to restraint himself and trust the old man he had swear he was going to unmask. Suddenly feeling that his trust in him couldn’t be so misplaced.

 

Continua...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am finally back from vacation. I am sorry for the grammar issue but this chapter hadn't been edited yet. It will be soon. Anyway I wanted to thanks all the people who had read the fanfiction saying that it is a real satisfaction for me to share all of this with you guys. I am sorry because it took me a bit to write this. I have a lot of ideas in my head, but having to write in another language compel me to reflect twice when I write and so the lenght of times grows. I hope you can understand me well. So please, if you have something to say about the story, don't hesistate and leave me a comment. I would be really glad. Kisses


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry because with this chapter I made a mess. I had already posted it but then I decided I didn't really liked it. So I changed many many things and here we are... Sorry to bother you like this. But I have alway many many ideas, and Ben is a really complex charater to write. But this is the way I want this story to go on :) Enjoy

General Hux shut the connection with Kylo Ren and made a resonant sound of disgust. Captain Phasma was right at his side. They left the main bridge silently until they reached for a corridor that lead to the laundry where the only being present in the nearness were a bunch or rat droid designate to clean the deck.

They waited just a while to be sure that nobody could hear them, then she finally spoke. “Are you sure that your plan is going to work?” she asked addressing the red head with a confidence that spoke about an intimacy that shouldn’t have been existent between the two, but in the fact of course, it was.

Hux smiled at her words looking at her with a conspiratorial gaze.

“We are really lucky that that little desert scum had choose to address him with his real name. You know, at first I didn’t understand the importance of that single letter…I really couldn’t figure out how could she be so stupid to call him Ben instead of Ren…”

“So, what was that helped you changing your mind?” Hux’s smile widened. “After the sudden change at the head of the order, I couldn’t simply stay quiet. I placed some bugs in Kylo’s quarters and that silly girl had been so naïve to speak out loud the entire story and Ren had been so foolish not to acknowledge… Pathetic!”.

“I should have imagine your intuition would have been right. But I bet you discovered far more than his real name. I mean she should have called to him in many ways while he was inside of her wishful pussy”. At that Phasma allowed herself to giggle. The gaze of pure revulsion he obtained by Hux spoke herslsef.

“Oh yeah, laugh! But you wasn’t the one who had to listen to their stupid and mushy words while they were fucking. I swear I was about to throw up my dinner”. At that Phasma laughed openly.

“I thought your lowest moment was when he punched you in the face breaking your nose, but now I suppose that that was far more worse” she said.

“Yes. Ren had never be so bold in his whole life before. And that’s all because of her that now he believes he could guide the First Order!” “So why don’t we eliminate her? It would be far more simple if just…” Phasma suddenly retorted.

“Don’t you understand? It doesn’t matter that his name is Ben Solo instead of Kylo Ren. He has his sorcery by his side. If he discovered that we did so, nothing could stop him to kill us. But…” and he paused “…if she leaves him willingly…Then the only one he could blame would be himself and those rebel scums…He would be so distracted that we could shoot the final stroke without any danger.”

“I agree. It would be a great doom for him when she’ll leave him to join what’s left of the Resistance”

“Yes, things are going to change soon. As soon as she will find out that her friends are still alive she will leave him behind without any hesitation and in that moment, when he would be weak and lonely, we will unfasten the bomb. I’ll charge him with high treason for the murder of the Supreme Leader Snoke, telling everyone that he had always been a mole of the Resistance until the beginning.

It won’t be difficult to convince the other officers that I am right. After all he’s sharing the same blood of their own general”

“Yeah… Leia Organa. When you told me I couldn’t believe at my ears”

“I knew he was the heir of Darth Veder, but I never knew about the fact that his mother was a Senator of the New Repubblic…But after the research I made, I finally found out. Did you know that his uncle is nothing less than the mighty Luke Skywalker? The one who’s head the Supreme Leader Snoke wanted to be served on a silver plate?”

“Impressive” “Now I would challenge anyone to mistrust our accusation towards that toddler with his rage issue”

“I agree it would be a great surprise for the high officers of the Order”

“Of course it would be. More over now that he is going to announce the destruction of the main enemy of the first order to the whole galaxy. That means that he is going to lie to the whole movement. And so when the time would be right, he would be judged and executed by you in person with the help of your faithful squadron of storm trooper.

So finally justice would be done!” “And then I suspect you already have a name for the new leader who will be in charge” Hux smiled evilly mirroring his face, this time into the glass of the main bridge. His cold blue eyes looking at the stars shining in the dark sky right in front of him. “I think that Supreme Leader Hux doesn’t sound so bad, don’t you agree Phasma?”

………………………………………….

The dim light of Kylo’s room enlightened all at once. He knew it was because of the remote control located in the main bridge.

That nosy pansy wanted to be sure he had received the message high and clear. He had to attend his duty and somehow Hux seemed even more impatient than usual, probably getting delight in tormenting him.

A sudden rush of anger built inside of Kylo Ren. How could he dare to give him orders? After their last encounter, he had thought to have already made clear the situation to him. Kylo Ren was about to explode in pure rage when a wave of confusion and worry hit him like cold water. Rey was looking at him, wide eyes and breathe ragged.

She was nervous and bracing herself at the pillow, hiding her sweet body from his gaze. He suddenly realized he was making a mistake reacting so brutally. Because Rey was right there watching him and judging him. He couldn’t really act in front of her like that. She deserved his full attention right now, not to witness at his umpteenth burn out. So he tried to calm down breathing sharply in and out.

“I am sorry” he said in a low reassuring voice looking into her eyes.

“I didn’t knew he would have used Snoke’s channel to communicate with me. He shouldn’t have done that so esaily. I am going to forbidden this for the future” he said sounding truly mortified. Rey swallow hard, her cheeks as red as blood, the sensation of discomfort still present between them.

“It’s okay…I am just confused about what way he talked to you…I mean…that way of talking sounds pretty much like commanding…” “She hadn’t already finished that Kylo stepped in “Yeah, I am going to fix his disrespectful behavior once and for all as soon as possible. Never mind”. Then a silence full of tension enveloped them both. Until Rey replyed: “So, what do you think he wanted?” “I don’t know” he suddenly answered a little puzzled “but of course he isn’t the one supposed to decide if you can hear what he had to say or not. That is my choice!” Kylo said.

“Your choice?” She looked at him in bewilderment suddenly wishing to have much more than a simple pillow to hide her body from his sight. The expression on her face didn’t pass unnoticed to him just like the hurt in her tone of voice.

At that Kylo Ren swallowed hard trying to keep his hammering hearth at peace. With her it was always the same. He was afraid to make a misstep at every second, and judging by the irritated expression upon her face, he had already did it.

“Of course I am the one supposed to take decisions here. So what’s so wrong about that?” he replied strictly in confusion.

“Ben! We didn’t have established yet what to do, but I think I remember clearly you asking me to rule by your side” she suddenly retorted with a frown. At that, he bit at his lower lip in frustration swallowing another couple of times while his dark eyes were still fixed on her face. Her beautiful mouth, the same he was kissing and savoring less than a minute before, now was shouting at him with anger. The pillow was back at her chest, covering the shapes of her wonderful breasts that he had hoped to taste after their making out. His desire for her making her mind blurred.

“Yes I did…And I meant it…” he replied. A sense of relief seemed to catch her in that same moment. Hope still sparkling into her soul. Her hostile attitude suddenly seem to lessen for a little while. But her inner turmoil was palpable. “So…why am I asked to stay stucked in your room?”

“You are not stucked here. I just…asked you to wait until I was…” but the he lost his words looking at her expression full of resentment. “You brought me here since the same moment we defeated Snoke and you didn’t even told me a thing about what’s going to happen in the future. And now you are trying to cut me off after…” her voice faded while her face blushed and a deep wave of shame released from her chest. Kylo found himself speechless.

A sudden fear carving at his gut. “Rey…Please, sweethearth. Calm down! I never said I was going to cut you off” he rushed to explain.

“I thought we would have made the decisions together…” and now Rey sounded almost angry.

"We will but right now I am the one who knows what has to be done" he said.

At that she gave him an hard glance, her jaw tightened.

"Yeah, because I am a stupid little girl from nowhere, right?" she blamed "How could I be sto naive to seriously belive you would have let me rule by your side..." 

“Wait. You get it wrong. I was just saying that you probably don't understand the fragility of the actual situation…” and saying so he tried to draw her to him. But she rapidly moved away.

“Ben Solo you are just a stupid big Bantha! Stay away from me now!” and so she threw the pillow into his face.

Then she stormed rapidly towards the frasher, not before having picked up the new clothes that BB-9 had brought her just a few house ago. When Kylo dropped the pillow into the floor, the automatic door had already closed after her passage. He sighed heavily with frustration, then he cursed Hux and himself all at once. Fear dangerously re-emerging through his veins.

If it hadn’t been so desperate to clarify the situation with her, he would have laughed at her comment. Nobody had dared addressing him that way in years, or at least not that openly.

They were too scared of him. He was still amazed by the way that woman was talking to him, by the fact that her sweetness was so balanced by her strong attitude. But this doesn’t mean he liked to be called stupid Bantha! without any reason. There were still limits! And in another moment Kylo could even have let her cool off by herself. But right now, after all they had shared, he wanted her to know he had been serious till the beginning about that.

How could she be so blind? Wasn’t pretty obvious what her place would have been from now on? Yes, he hadn’t properly announced it publicly but that was because things needed to be arranged and much more important, he had to know if she felt the same about him. Not being alone was a complete new sensation for him too. He had not used to trust anyone for so long that it was really hard for him to let himself go. And maybe before the last few hours he wasn’t sure about it either, but now that their bodies and souls had been united in such a perfect way, he finally knew.

He was in love with her. Yes, he loved her so much, but he wasn’t prepared yet to tell her. He wanted her to trust him but he didn’t really know how to explain all of that to her. He had never been too good with words. But he had to do something and quickly. So Kylo run towards the frasher, pushing the button to get inside, but she had already locked to door.

“Rey! Open the door, please” he asked.

“No!” she answered angrily. He breathed hard.

“Please Rey!”

“I am not talking to you right now. Let me alone!” she screamed and then he could feel a sigh coming from the inside of the frasher. The simple idea of her crying made him feel sick. That was enough to calm down his temper and making him try to be as much reasonable as possible.

“Okay then…I’ll be the one to talk. Please, just listen…” he said making one pause. When she didn’t answered he continued.

“I am sorry” he said feeling like a real stupid talking to the door. He hadn’t apologized in years and now he had to address her even without the chance to look at her face, but knowing that he was doing that for her sake, he went on “Rey…I should have been much clear till the beginning but…You know… It took me a bit to arrange things…”.

She remained still silent. So he tried again.

“I-I really didn’t know what I was doing…But I meant what I said…” From the other side of the door, Rey sweep away the tears from her face and sighed and sniffed, but listen carefully. Kylo made a pause trying to say out loud what he had barely the courage to admit to his own hearth.

He had already made her a similar question, but this time he was moved by much more conviction than before and the implications of his proposal, this time won’t be misunderstood.

“I want to rule the galaxy with you at my side…I think you are brillant and smart, but you doesn't belong to this world. Me too... I have never even thought about power before. It never mattered to me. Nor it does now” he explained in a low quiet voice, his body shaking.

Another long pause and he continued “…but you saw what other people had done in the past? I have never undesrtood their reasons. Even my mother's. I always thought that the galaxy deserved something better, something different. We need to heal from the errors of the past... But I was trapped, just like you. But then you came here alone to meet me and…you said you would have helped me and that visions…”.

At that the door flew open and he could finally stare at her big hazel eyes, noticing one more time how tiny she was right in front of him. Just a few inches to separate their body. Rey had already get completely dressed while Kylo was still completely naked.

When she saw him she blushed furiously, looking straight at his face with fierce eyes, not wanting to be distracted by his muscular body. He suddenly grabbed the sheets that lied at his feet to cover himself.

A sudden sense of discomfort caught him now that he was the only one naked in the room. Ha had never felt so vulnerable in his whole life.

“So, why did you keep me here telling me about anything? How I am supposed to rule the galaxy with you… in your bed?” she finally asked, a deep shade of rage still present into her eyes and also through the bound. But there was even another kind of emotion behind her resentment and sadness.

And he was surprised to know that it was hope. A big sparkling, shining beacon, the same he had felt when they made love into his bed. It was now or never. He had to get the courage to tell her what he was feeling.

“When I asked you I wasn’t sure myself about anything, but I meant…I meant…” he couldn’t really speak it out loud. Kylo’s face as red as blood, his fears growing into his gut under Rey’s frustrated gaze. He swallowed twice shifting his gaze from her eyes to his hands.

“ Rey when I asked you to join me…”.

………………………………

Meanwhile the Resistance had definitively left the surface of Crait. Leia’s conditions were getting worse minute after minute and a certain bunch of atypical rebel fighters was still arguing a lot about how to proceed for the big rescue of a certain scavenger.

On board of the Falcon, Chewe was in the pilot seat following the path that Luke had suggested to Lando and Poe, while Finn was still trying to convince the mighty jedi to rush the time.

He wanted to know about his beloved Rey as soon as possible. But the bearded man didn’t seem to share nor to comprehend his distress.

“So…what are we expecting?” Finn encouraged.

“We should try to contact her when we’ll get to the new base” was Luke the quick answer. “Why don’t you try here?”. And so Luke give him an annoyed glance.

“Because we will arrive in a couple of hours and here is not the ideal place to do such a thing!”

“Why?” asked Finn with fervor. As an answer, Luke started to browse through the pages of one of the old books Finn had shoved him. “It’s passed a bit since the last time I tried to read one of these” he said thoughtfully, sliding one finger across the creased cover. “Ehi are you listening?” he complained, “do you need these books to do your magic?”.

The old jedi struggled to maintain his good behavior on stage. He was almost there to extinguish the already few patience he had with the absurd questions of Finn.

“My magic – he empathized the words like a tease – need a safer place to be done. Here is not a good one” he finally answered.

“Why not?” The old jedi seated on the couch next to the little table where Chewe used to keep the trophy he had collected during the years. The old shelf was a true mess, but Luke could easily recognize some relic he had contributed to obtain during his many trips during the year of his youth.

Han’s shadow passed for a moment behind his eyes and he had to repeat to himself that his speaker was young and inexperienced and once he had been just like him. As eager as him to know everything about the life he had only dreamed about since the moment Artoo bumped into his path. With Rey had been far more easy to become attached to. But he had been so blind for all the time that he hadn’t noticed it since she had decided to leave him.

This guy was far more skeptical and absolutely dumb about the more common things. Maybe the reason had to be found in Finn’s temper, maybe in the way the first orders used to rise his army in the ignorance of many things that could be used against them. Anyway it took Luke a considerable amount of patience not to yell at him.

“We are in the open space” he finally said to the former stormtrooper. Finn didn’t seem to understand. “I know. What’s the matter about that?” “There are dangers here. Rey would wait for another couple of hours” and saying so he was about to browse another page when Finn suddenly chased: “So?” “So it would be a better idea to spend this time searching these books instead of risking to exhaust my energy in an useless effort” Luke explained.

“But you said clearly that the bound that tie them together can’t be removed!”

“Yes, I did. And I confirm. But maybe there would be other information about it. We don’t need necessarily to destroy it. Rey must to learn how to have a control upon it. Being able to close it or open it at her liking” At those words Finn’s face enlightened in a wide smile. “Is that really possible?” he asked breathless. “I am almost sure it is. It’s all in the books” and saying so he gestured towards the ancient texts.

“Okay…So, why don’t you help me to read them? They are wrote in a language I haven’t even seen in my life. Surely you…” but Finn hadn’t finished yet that the old jedi was already shaking his head in denial.

“I am sorry but these are really ancient. My master Yoda maybe knew how to read them. But I am not cabable to do such a thing”

“Are you joking me?” Finn exclaimed in bewilderment.

“Absolutely not…I am not helpful with this issue. Sorry kid. But I know someone who can. Maybe he’s one of the few who can read them in the whole galaxy who is still by our side. The newest models are all in the hand of the first order” he said. “Newest models? Is he a droid?” Finn exclaimed thoughtful, then he brought his hand to his mouth in completely astonishment.

“BB-8!” At that Luke had to sighed and bite his tongue another time.

“Not him. C-3PO is the droid with the most waid system for all the forms of communication of the known galaxy”

“Yeah! Good. And you think he would be able to translate these books too?”

“I know he can! But unfortunately now he is on board of the main ship with Lando and my sister Leia. So I suppose that the only thing we could do right now is to wait patiently to get landed” At that Finn growled losing his temper once more.

“But it’s a waste of time! And Rey could be in danger right now! We need to reach her now!” he insisted. At that Luke sighed heavily and taking one big breath he said: “well then. I’ll do it now right here" he said. "Anything not to hear your complaining anymore”he murmured quietly.

And so he seated cross-legged and closed his eyes.

“Really? Oh thank you Luke! I knew you would have understood” Finn said with relief. Then he seated into the floor right in front of him, his hands over his knees, trying to mimic the position of the jedi. Luke open one eye to look at his for a second, then he closed it for the second time and sighed again but didn’t say any other word.

“So…what am I supposed to do to help you?” Finn asked when the silence was about to prolong a bit much. “Just stay silent and let me concentrate. And much more important, don’t play around and try not to make any noise and… I think that’s all” “For real? Finn asked a bit sarcastically.

A bad glance by the bearded man told him he was not joking at all.

“Yes. If you want to help, you don’t have to broke my concentration and everything would be okay. I can project myself just for a few minutes, so I don’t know if I would be able to know precisely what happened to her, but her force signature is like a beacon right now. I can feel her so clearly as if she was here. I must try as long as the situation doesn’t change”

“Okay then…I am here to assure that anything would bother you. Even if I don’t think that just in these few minutes something could happen so…”

“Have you finished to blabber? Didn’t anyone ever told you that you talk too much kid?” Luke snorted exasperated at him. Finn shut up in that same moment. He seemed a little hurt but he tried not to show it. Finally the grumphy jedi had agreed to help him and he had to be quiet and focused to help his friend Rey.

Then Luke’s meditation began. And so the troubles.

“I am sorry. I swear I am ready now” So finally the mighty jedi fall in a deep meditational state. Finn stopped to think about the fact the he may be sleeping and making fool of him only when he saw Luke’s body starting to levitate from the couch. He had to fight back a scream of jubilation, but he suddenly regained his focus on Rey.

Luke was absorbed in thought less than a couple of minutes when on the monitor of the cockpit a red signal started to alert them that something was wrong. Luke's eyes snapped opene a second later. The unbearable sound of the alarm started to scream.

His gaze found Finn’s and the younger man looked at him in bewilderment not moving a muscle. “ So, what are you waiting for kid? Run to Chewe and sort out what the problem is!” he said in a harsh tone that Finn didn’t really like. But he obeyed with a snarl not even retorting.

Asking to himself how could his best friend handle with such a dull of an hermit for longer than a single day without feeling the impulse to kick him, Finn did what he had requested. 

 

Continua...


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter shows what Rey and Ben are struggling with and what are they thinking after the last events...

“Rey when I asked you to join me…”.

Kylo Ren swallowed hard. His hearth hammering frantically into his chest. Rey was looking at him with a deep sense of expectation. Her blood running into her veins, her palms sweaty and almost trembling. Her eyes wide.

“…I was actually asking for you hand”. That’s what he should have said. What he really deeply wanted to admit to her. But then a sudden rush of fear and insecurity caught his young and unexperienced hearth. He wasn’t prepared yet. If she had rejected him right now his hearth would have broken into hundreds of pieces.

Ben Solo felt overwhelmed. After what they had just shared, was she already regretting to have let him touch her? Probably she was full of confusion, just like him. How could he get the courage to admit that to her? He was in deep, he had killed his master to save her and now she was already his everything. How foolish he had been believing in Snoke, thinking that he could have obtained what he needed from that monster.

The power of the dark side, the power not to be oppressed anymore. He had sacrificed all himself to became powerful to the point to not to be afraid anymore. Even his own father. Han Solo. He was a simple man his father, but he had been much more wise than him, he had warned him.

Snoke was using him for his powers and nothing more. After the revolting act he had committed murdering Han Solo, after his sin, with all the heaviness that his hearth had already bared, Snoke had had the courage to ask him even more.

To kill Rey. And then his decision to strike down the old alien had been the easiest of his entire life. How blind had he been before she came into his life? She came for him, as she said, to help him, and so she did. But now she was so stubbornly refusing to give him her trust. What was wrong about him? he had offered her everything and she still seemed upset. Didn’t she see that they were meant for each other? She was his equal in the force and also she knew what may mean to being left alone. But she also seemed not to understand his point of view. Yes, they had already had an incredibly intimate experience together, but they

merely know each other. Kylo had all of the intention to know as much as possible about her, but reading in her mind wasn’t an option. Not anymore. He wanted to share with her his food, his bed, his life. He wanted all of the normal things a man can wanted. A real life. But he was afraid even to rush things. They had already let themselves go too far. So this was what he blurted out instead:

“…I think it would be better to talk about this later. Now we should go first in a place” his voice piercing because of the tension. Kylo knew it was just a pathetic attempt to get more time to think, more time to hope and pick up his courage to make her a real proposal. On the other hand it was true that she need to have a medical examination and get an implant to prevent pregnancy.

“What place?” she asked in bewilderment. “You will see” he breathed out heavily. “And can I come with you?” she asked. Kylo couldn’t believe at his ears. Was it so hard to believe that he really, truly wanted her by his side? “Yes, come with me” he said and so he outstretched his hand. At that Rey went silent. He was about to plead her to say something when she smiled at him. It was just a little smirk and nothing more. In an instant it was already vanished, but it was also enough for him to feel deeply relieved. “That sounds like a start” she said firmly, her voice full of resolve.

And so they stared at each other for another while in silence. Then she finally took his hand in hers.

The simple touch of his callous palm made her shiver. She would have stayed more distant from him, because she knew she had to maintain the point. Her point. He had to be clear in mind that she wasn’t his owner at all. He had promised her that she would have ruled at his side, and even if she didn’t care at all about power, she wanted to be sure that she could maintain her freedom. Either Plutt had ever had her as a slave. She hadn’t really being someone’s property and she wasn’t intentioned to give up now, even if the first order was ruling according to his means of threat and subjugation.

She also had to know that he was aware that she wouldn’t have allowed him to bring destruction and death all around the galaxy in the name of the dark side. Yet it was true that he had treated her with kindness as anyone before in her whole life. But she felt still unsure about everything. What they had just shared had been so intimate, so damnly deep that Rey wasn’t still able to elaborate. The only thing she knew was that she was yearning to go back to kissing him, to feeling the sensation of his strong arms around her torso. But she was also afraid.

She knew she was playing a dangerous game with that man. Because for a while she had had the occasion to share something with Ben Solo, but now that things were coming up, the handsome guy who had murmured to her unspeakable things for the whole night, was behaving like the royal idiot that Snoke had baptized as Kylo Ren. Despite all of them, when he came closer to her and he tangled his other hand into her hair looking at her in adoration, Rey really couldn’t retreat.

Her lips trembled at the sight of his own plump ones so near to her cheeks. She gazed at them with yearning for an instant, then she quickly turned to look at the wall. Kylo’s hand falling to his hide. After that, she heard him sigh, but not another sound came from his mouth. He kept staring at her with a sad gaze while she made a step towards the door of his chamber.

“Okay then,I’ll come with you. I think we'd better hurry, we don't want to let your general wait too much” she said with a hint of bitterness in her voice still avoiding his eyes. At that he didn’t reply, he simply started to lead her outside his quarters, his hearth pounding faster into his throat.

………………………

 

And so finally they were on their way to the main bridge, she thought. Rey was still angry at Ben for the attitude of superiority he had shown to her. But not as angry as she would have liked. She couldn’t really know what to think about him right now because, despite the whole situation and his attitude as a commander, he was always concerned about her, even attached. The simple thought was able to make her smile despite her own will. He cared about her.

The reminder of his words when they were nestled into his bed made her shiver. Maybe he was right. It would have been better to discuss their…thing…later. She hadn’t realized how much she needed some time to process the whole thing, since now that they were walking together in that wide corridor. Both too embarrassed to even try to look into the eyes of the other.

She had left his hand just a few moments ago and she had regretted her choice after an instant, but she didn’t want to appear weak to him and so she put her hands at her sides, her gaze straight in front of her, looking now at his back. Because she needed to know. Her mind was racing. Rey had too many questions and she couldn’t really stop her inner turmoil. She had also tried to keep her mind occupied with other issues, But nothing had worked. She was still on a high.

She tried to concentrate once more on something else, for example the ship. The technology that surrounded her was far more innovative than the one she knew. Thousands between officers and soldiers were populating the interiors of the giant dreadnought. Nothing comparable with anything she had ever seen in her home planet. Maybe the same Jakku hadn’t ever been so populated. There were also several droids and technicians at work at every corner.

Nothing was left to chance. The first time she walked with him into those corridors she had other thought across her mind to pay attention to those things. For the first minutes Rey had tried to memorize the path that leads from Kylo’s quarters to their new destination, but after the second turbolift and the other four corridors they traveled, she had found herself lost. The Supremacy really was the biggest ship she had ever seen in her whole life. She felt like an ant in comparison. And, all of her efforts hadn’t helped her keep her anxiety at bay.

Her foolish mind had also come back to her dream. Because yes, the reality around them was far scarier then what she would have dreamed about “I think you are underestimating their hatred for us both…” she finally said biting at his lower lip, unsure if to go on or not. She had to ask him. Maybe the resistance was space dust by now, but she and Ben were still alive and they could always leave the Supremacy together and live by their own. She knew it could sound crazy, but what was stopping them right now? Her deepest desire was to start a new life with Ben Solo, anywhere but here through the rank of the first order where he stubbornly wanted to act as the leader Kylo Ren.

He was far more than that. Yes, in the first place she had thought she could do something good for the galaxy taking the reins of the first order at his side. But Rey knew that that thought had been foolish and childish. It was true that she had the force inside of her, but she wasn’t a Jedi and even if she had been one, ruling over a whole galaxy was a completely different matter. And maybe he thought he was supposed to rule because he was the only son of an important family. While she was on Daquar in the resistance base, she swear to have heard C3PO calling Leia “princess”.

The simple taught made her feel sick because that meant he was a sort of royal too. And as he had reminded her over and over before, she was just a scavenger, a nobody from Jakku. Yes, a nobody that he seemed to wanted and used to call sweethearth, but still a simple girl who doesn’t know a thing about his lavish life. She didn’t belong to that life.

So, after a couple of seconds of silence she continued with urgency in her voice: “Ben, I think we…” but then Kylo stopped right in front of her abruptly. She quickly blinked at their surroundings. Were they arrived at their destination? Looking at the place it didn’t seem at all the entrance of the main bridge. It looked more like… “What are we doing here?” she asked in confusion. He saw him swallowing hard, turning in her direction. His adam apple was bouncing up and down in distress.

“We are here because you should see the doctor…” he started. Rey couldn’t believe at her ears. “But I've already seen one just yesterday, my arm it’s okay…Can you see it?” she protested after a moment of confusion “he said I was perfectly well”. Then she show him her forearm where a little scar had already formed. He looked at her in bewilderment, not really knowing what to answer. He had completely forgotten about that. What was bothering him right now was totally another issue.

“Yes, I see. But…” “I am fine” Rey suddenly retorted. At that, Kylo’s expression became filled with pure concern. Despite his own embarassment he knew he needed to tell her. “Trust me, sweetheart, you need you to see the doctor once more”. Rey’s mind felt puzzled. Was that a common thing for him to see a doctor every day? Or was it just a special treatment he was having towards her?…Maybe he was just trying to buy some time, not wanting let her know what was happening out there. Yes, she told to herself, definitively it had to be the latter one.

So Rey suddenly argued: “Are you trying to kidding me? You asked me to come with you to talk with your ginger general and now…” “I never told you I was accompanying you to him” he quickly retorted, almost offended for her implied accusation “and you shouldn’t either care about Hux. I am going to punish him to teach him what is place is”

“Punish him? Ben he was only trying to do his job…He said it was urgent and…Are you going to show me my place too? I am going to be punished if I don’t want to obey?” her voice was bitter now.

“Don’t be silly. You are doing it anymore” “What?” “Over reacting!” “I am not over reacting at all. I am jut…”

“Please Rey keep quiet!” he shouted back a little more harshly than he would have intended. His face feeling guilty the second after he had spoke like that to her. His mouth shut in a right line. His breath a bit quickened. Now she was looking at him with her eyebrows furrowed. Her jaw tightened. “Rey, please” he said then, his voice softened “this is much more important than the mental disorder of that stuffed dandy. I am taking care of you” At that, she looked at him full of confusion.

“Ben…Why don’t you want to tell me what’s going on? Why don’t you admit it? You are just trying to cut me off” her eyes hard one more time. “Rey…I am not trying to cut you off” he said, biting at his lower lip. His voice still quiet. “I’ll show you how much your opinion is important to me, but please, trust me. This is a big deal. It couldn’t have waited…”

“Why?” “I am not sure to be the right person to explain that to you. But I promise you…You will not have to worry anymore…” “About what? Ben, I don’t understand. What are you talking about?” she finally asked in bewilderment. At that Kylo’s face became completely red. He was struggling with words awkwardly and he was also fighting with himself not to seem shaken. The heat of her body was still in his mind and his whole being was aching to regain the contact with her soft skin.

But the pressure of the knowledge of what they had just done, was pushing him down. He stayed silent, full of yearning and longing for her as if they didn’t shared the bed just a few moments before. He had barely discovered how sweet, incredibly warm her body could feel against his own, and he was determined to stay close to her as much as she would have allowed him for the rest of his life. He tried to bend forward to hold her, but Rey pushed him away fiercely.

“I am not going to let you touch me until…”

“Please sweetheart. Don’t be mad. You will see”

………………………….

General Hux was waiting for him on the doorway. His face was feral, his fists tight at his sides. He greeted him with a fake smile. Kylo’s mind was running. He knew that Rey’s eyes had never left his back for the whole damn time until he had left that corridor. He was still feeling guilty to have chosen to go away instead of facing the problem with her. But neither of them had dared to say a word for almost ten minutes since they had left his quarters and he had led her to the mad bay. He had noticed all of the sighs she had let out while they were walking the corridors.

His only hope had been reaching for their destination as soon as possible before she could ask him something too awkward or embarrassing. Unfortunately, she hadn’t being quiet either when they arrived. Then she had kept asking about her place in all of that and why did he bring her to the mad bay instead of going to Hux.

And Kylo had had to struggle a lot with himself not to show her how much ashamed he was feeling. For sure talking to a doctor, maybe another woman would have been far more better for her, rather than having that talk, “the talk” with him. He wasn’t even sure about a lot of things himself about sex, how could he be the one supposed to teach her? And, much more important, he was even a bit scared at the thought that she may be mad at him because of what he have done.

She was already mad as hell when she left her down there to go to meet Hux on the main bridge because of politics and other issues. So he didn’t dare to imagine how much mad she could have being knowing about the fact that he hadn’t cared about making safe sex for their first time.

Yes, she had thrown him a gaze full of rage before he left, so piercing that he was still feeling it under his skin. And even if he had been blind (and of course he wasn’t), the force bound had made it clear that she was feeling upset and angry at him. It was unmistakable. The next time he would have to face her, he would have to endure her anger at him.

Kylo sighed heavily looking at the deep space at the other side of the glass that was covering the ceiling of the main bridge. His usual clothes seemed so tight right now upon his sensitive skin. He didn’t have time to take a shower before leaving his quarters and so he was still drenched in Rey’s wonderful scent. The whole situation made him feel dizzy, happy and uncomfortable at the same time. He should have been more wise.

Knowing what he knew. He shouldn’t have let his instinct taking advantage on her. But things had went unexpectedly far and he couldn’t even tell that he wasn’t happy about it. His only hope was that, after her talk with the doctor, she would have understood and maybe forgiven him for his reckless behavior. Then they would have shared a lot of other nights and days like that, this time without any concern. He would have made her his wife, making to her a real proposal with a ring and a public ceremony. He would have brought her a dress, a beautiful one of the color she liked the most, green as the leaves and tress she liked so much.

They would have establish their new government contemporarily with their marriage, not after having told to the whole galaxy about the change at the apex of the first order. Kylo perfectly new what Hux was expecting from him right now. He still couldn’t bare the fact that their major investitors had stopped to support the first order economically.

A big half was still playing Hux’s game, because he hadn’t told them yet about the fact that the war was over and the resistance definitively destroyed. But Kylo would have put an end at all of that in the public meeting he was going to attend in a few hours. Proclaiming himself as new supreme leader, then asking for Rey’s hand and ruling together with her was nothing he could have even dreamed for not only few days before.

Yes, Kylo thought. For once in his life, everything seemed to be going on the right way. But despite his inner joy and sense of fulfillment, Kylo was still worried and a bit panicked. Rey was strong and fierce and she had stayed with him, but her mistrust towards him made him feel a little betrayed. He merely knew himself what to right now, but finally he was able to made his own decisions and even if Hux was against him, he felt stronger than ever with Rey by his side. They have each other. How couldn’t she support him? Of course, he was going to involve her, he had promised.

He would have find a way, they would have being finally free and happy together. Nothing was in their path anymore. What could have may happened to divide him from his long overdue happiness with Rey? He asked to himself, still peering at the black space up above. Then a shape suddenly appeared on the surface of Kylo’s mind.

An old bearded man, in a grey suit, with two fierce blue eyes and a robotic hand. Yes, his uncle Luke was still alive and he was somewhere out there. Kylo knew that Rey had left Luke to go to him. But he wanted to go ahead, and his uncle was the last fossil of a past era that needed to be erase. Sooner or later his presence could have been dangerous for him in a way or another. He knew it. But his master Snoke was the one who needed to find Luke to lead the jedi order to an end.

Kylo wasn’t interested anymore in such things. He was only afraid that Luke could have tried to bring Rey back. He wasn’t still sure about her intentions because she seemed still unhappy and out of her place. And if she had knew about the fact that he was still planning to murder his uncle, obviously she wouldn’t have approved, never. Even if she knew what he had done to him, after all what they had shared about his mother and father, Kylo knew that his uncle was also included in the circle of people she cared for. Even after everything. And a part of him, the childish one, was pleading himself to let go too.

Stop thinking about him! he said to himself. She is not going to leave you. You are going to marry her. Just think about taking care of her and never mind. Your uncle is not a menace anymore. He said to himself, this time not allowing his fears to swallow him alive anymore. Rey’s lightening presence was somehow making him think straight, with much more clarity and self-confidence. Yes, he has to remind to himself that he wasn’t a boy anymore.

He was the supreme leader now, or he was about to become one. And he had got his powers too. The most powerful man of the whole galaxy and Luke was only an old hermit who had lost his good judgment. Not a threat anymore. And according to his sense of revenge, well…

After the death of his mother he had found himself not interested in such a matter anymore. Now Kylo’s mind was full of resolve and hope for the future just like it hadn’t been in years. So now there was just one thing left to be concerned about. Yes, he thought looking in the direction of the instrumentations of the main bridge.

Now he had to teach a lesson. His too bold general had to learn to stay quiet and much more important, he had to know about how his quarters were a private space, an off limits zone for everyone and especially for him. He wasn’t supposed to bear his insubordination anymore. And now Kylo know what he had to do.

………………………………..

A few hours later, when Phasma greeted the ginger general at her place as usual, she couldn’t really stop thelaugh that escaped from her throat at the sight of him. “Please, don’t say a word!” Hux asked with fury entering her room. His eyes were full of sorrow and embarrassment at the same time.

At that Phasma laughed even higher. Upon his forehead, there were a few words, manually written, in a smooth handwriting. Nobody used to know how to do that anymore, so it wasn’t mistakable who was the author of that masterpiece. It was well known how Ren was used to indulge into that kind of ancient foolishness. Snoke had blamed him lots of times in front of the crew, trying to teach him that it was stupid to keep practicing something so useless. And Phasma had to agree with him, until now.

The words: “Rabid cur” written in black, were on plain sight just a few inches above Hux’s red eyebrows. Certainly, Ren had become bolder than she had expected if he had felt so confident to resume with his old habits. Obviously Hux didn’t seem to appreciate the thing. That late night, Phasma was still laughing at him unable to stop herself.

Continua...


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rey decides that she is not interested in protocol 42 and some rocks causes a little trouble to Finn and Chewe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry but this chapter needs to be edited. And now the grammar is not perfect...I hope you understand...Anyway it will be soon :) Thanks a lot to who will read it :)

The mighty jedi has already fallen into a deep sort of meditation state when the troubles begin. The first time the red alarm had started to scream it had been an error. Or so they had thought. Some stupid bunch of space rocks had invaded the shields of the ship provoking some little damages. Suddenly Chuwe had reassured Finn and his old friend Luke, that it wasn’t anything to worry about.

They could have stopped in the nearest planet and check the ship, the Wookie growled. Finn and also Luke hadn’t been of the same advice. “We have to follow the other ships…We can’t part right now! Keep going!” Luke said. And so their furred friend ignored the alarm and pushed the engines to go on. But when the red light yelled at them for the second time, just a few minutes later, Finn found himself startled. He suddenly run towards the cockpit and asked to Chewbecca:

“What’s going on? I told you there is no time to check the ship’s little problems right now. We can handle later with the shields! Luke is in deep meditation and he can’t be interrupted by…” Then the wookie growled back at him with intensity. At that Finn’s eyes widened in horror.

“I am not sure to understand…Did you just say that you are hungry to the point to eat your own hat or…That we are hunted by a ship that wants us all dead?” he asked with a hint of terror in his voice.

At that, Chuwe answered shaking his head. The former stormtrooper was hopeless with his bad Wookie and even with his instinct of self preservation, it seemed. How could he be so dummy? Obviously, the right sentence was the second one. He growled his disappointment all at once, putting his hands on his head while a couple of porgs were trying to fly on his shoulders, making them ruffle. So when Finn finally got the meaning of Chewe growls, the young man started to swear and so Chewe knew that he had finally got it.

“Pirates!” he explained with a snarl. “No, no! Not now! It can’t be! We should have been covered…The shields are supposed to prevent the other ships to know about us and….” But then Finn quickly stop to talk. “The shields!” he suddenly realized.

“They are off since the moment we had problems with those space rocks…Oh no!” Finn complained almost whining. “But are you sure they are pirates? Maybe they are friendly?” he said. But when the first cannon of the unknown ship started to shot at them, Finn decided to stop being dumbly optimistic. “Kriff!” he shouted at Chewe “we have to do something! Right now Luke is trying to contact Rey! It’s the only chance we have to know if she’s safe! We have to lose them and get out of trouble soon! Please try something!” Finn pleaded.

And so Chewe started to drive the ship with the manual control, avoiding another shot. “Run to the shot position. The cannons are ready!” Chewe growled at Finn with urgency, noticing that the former stormtrooper was stock-still in the middle of the cock-pit “It will be an animated trip!”

…………………………………………………..

Meanwhile Luke was struggling to find concentration, trying to ignore the sounds that kept coming from the cock-pit of the Falcon. The main cabin he was sitting in, seemed to vanish in the same moment he started to reach out to find Rey’s force signature. Now Luke could feel her life energy through the force and just like the first and last time he saw it, he found her bright like a beacon. Unfortunately, Rey was too far from him to know exactly where she was, but Luke didn’t need the right coordinates to find her, it was sufficient for him, to follow the spot she occupied in the force.

And so, after a few sharp inhalations, the old jedi was there in her company. Their surroundings spoke about a first order quarter. Luke’s real eyes were shut, his temples and his lips started to shake for the effort to project himself so far, but his projection had his eyes well open towards the slight figure who was sitting cross legg into the little room. His real body was now floating just a little above the floor of the main cabin of the Falcon. But his other self was standing still in front of the young girl.

“Rey” he breathed, but even before that his voice could reach her, the eyes of the girl had already snapped open and she was staring back at him in bewilderment.

“Master Luke!”

………………………………………………………

Some light miles far away from the Falcon, Rey was walking all around a small room in confusion. How could he let her alone without any explanation even after what they just did? Was he playing with her? Did really Ben Solo was making fun of her at her back and she didn’t even know it? She breathed out sharply and tried to regain her composure.

No, she reflected. For sure not. His eyes had been too full of something she was scared to acknowledge, something deep and honest, his touch on her skin too sweet to belong to someone who was just trying to have fun of her…And, more over, there was their bound telling her the truth about his feelings. When he woke up at her side he had been happy to see her too. But then, why was he acting in that strange way all of a sudden? Rey had to ask to herself. She didn’t really know what to think.

His behavior had changed in the same moment his general had asked about him. We he trying to hid something to her? The doctor at the mad bay wasn’t arrived yet and after a few minute Rey was almost to the point of crying. She had acted in front of him with as much boldness as she could, but now that he had left her here alone with her thoughts, she was starting to feel really betrayed. He could have almost told her why he was so concerned about her health.

Maybe he really thought she was stupid or naïve at the point to believe at every evasive explanation he had given to her. “Just ask the doctor for protocol 42 and… she will know what to do. Then Meet me at my quarters after you leave. Here is an olopad with the map of the whole dreadnought.

Then I’ll let you yell at me as much as you want” he had said before to leave her. But Kylo had brought out that thing out from nowhere, finally giving her access to some sort of information about the place she was stocked in. But it wasn’t enough. “What’s protocol 42?” she had asked. But Kylo hadn’t answered.

Rey had only the time to notice how his cheeks had turned into a bright shade of red that he was already on his way covering his mouth with a black glow. She could have swear to have heard him curse at himself when he was near to the middle of the corridor thinking that she couldn’t hear him. Then, the last gaze he had thrown to her had been so full of concern that maybe he was truly worried for her health condition.

The only thing that Rey couldn’t really understand was, why. She really couldn’t see what the problem was, and the idea to let some stranger touch her right now, even if just to check on her, was the less pleasurable she could think about. She wasn’t still accustomed to body contact and if she had to be touched by someone, she thought, that should have been Ben and him alone.

So when the droid in charge came in to advert her that the doctor was in fact a woman and a different one from the previous day, Rey found herself deeply relieved.

“Me I ask you madam what’s the reason of the medical examination? Do you feel sick? Does something hurt somewhere?” the droid asked her using his robotic arms to hold a similar olopad to sign all of her answers. “I…I don’t know…” Rey stuttered out in frustration “I think…protocol 42?” she whispered in a questioning tone. The droid took notice.

“Oh…I see” he said, then looked at her with his robotic eyes making Rey feel deeply uncomfortable.

“Is it something bad?” she asked then full of anxiety. The droid cocked her head at one side making some mechanic sounds and remained silent for a couple of seconds. Rey could feel her palms full of sweat while she was gripping his hands at the bench behind her. “I am sorry but…I don’t understand the question” he droid finally answered, “try to be more specific”. At that Rey swallowed hard. Why was even that droid so evasive about that thing? What was going to happen to her?

“I want to know if there is something wrong with me. Yesterday I had already check on my body and the doctor said I was perfectly well so…” At that the droid started to look at the olopad, scanning the data with quickness until it found a confirm of her words. “Regular. Your wealth is perfectly good. You just need to eat more food to balance the lack of iron and magnesium and vitamin C and E… But there is nothing bad about these analyses. Anyway the doctor will be here in a while” the droid answered discharging himself.

“Wait…So  am I okay?” Rey asked for the second time not really knowing what to think.

“Yes, madam. Now please sit there and wait for Doctor. Luna” Rey’s mind was a total mess right now. So…Ben was really trying to cut her out from the main issue of the first order…But…why? Anyway the doctor didn’t seem to arrive and probably she was busy somewhere else at the moment. All part of his plan to don’t let her know about what was going on. She tried to reach for the door but then the droid was already back carrying some strange tools into a tray. One look and Rey’s body shivered with fear.

“What are those things?” she asked noticing the big syringe and the other thing that seemed really similar to a pliers she used to fix the engine of her speeder. “Never mind. Protocol 42 is a routine little surgery. In an couple of hours you will be discharged. Please wait just a little while”. At that point Rey tried to reach for the door for the second time, but the little droid block her. “Please sit there” he insisted. The girl growled in annoyance not really knowing what to do anymore.

“I am leaving” she said finally taking a decision. “I don’t need any surgery…So please, let me go” she asked. Rey was already prepared to fight her way towards the exit when the robotic unite looked at her with confusion but it let her go. “Are you sure you are not interested anymore in protocol 42? When’s been the last time you bled? I had to ask you some standard questions before to start…Are you regular?” Rey looked at him in confusion.

“I told you I am leaving now. Stop bother me” and so she headed to the door.

…………………………..

Thanks to the holopad Ben had gave her, Rey could easily walk across the huge dreadnought without any hindrance. Suddenly she had tried to hid form the gazes of the officiers or the stormtrooper but then she had realized that nobody seemed interested to bother her. they looked at her with curiosity but nothing more.

Rey didn’t really know that to think. At one point she found herself in a sort of dining hall, where a lot of people were sitting at some rectangular tables, speaking to each other while they were looking into a huge screen positioned against a big wall. Rey suddenly fronzen on her place when she recognized Ben’s face on the screen.

He was speaking in another big hall to another big audience and his ginger general was right at his side. Hux’s eyes were cold and full of anger and disgust while upon his forehead there were two handwritten words she found incredibly appropriate for the man in question. Rey would have laughed if only she hadn’t felt her gut thigtened at the thought that his Ben was really trying to mocking her at her back. She tried to listen to his speech but the crowd all around her was noisy and fired up by his words.

“The New Order…Will start from now. The war is over. We won. The Resistance had been destroyed once and for all and I swear to you all that we won’t commit the same errors of the past…” She finally could hear paying more attention. Ben’s voice was clear and full of resolve. “As new supreme leader, I command to all the rebels still around the planets, to stop this madness and surrender to the New Order…There is not match anymore.

The establishment of the new government will follow soon. After the coronation ceremony of the next week I’ll start to visit every planet in person to make sure that the people of galaxy have everything they need to start a new life under the New Order’s lead. Rules will be finally followed everywhere and I’ll make sure that the hand of the New Order can reach every corner of the galaxy. This is my word as your new supreme leader”.

At that point, Rey felt the urge to run away. She ignored the bitterness of some man commenting the way Ben had spoken, she ignored the whistles and the cheers, she felt her head spinning and so she run, not caring about slamming against a pair of officers on her way. Rey run until she found herself alone in a corridor and she chose to open one door and hide in the small room she found inside. She could feel her breath ragged.

The panic growing inside of her. So she chose to sit cross-legged on the floor in the position to meditate that Luke had shown her on Ach-to to calm her nerves. Then Rey tried to relax and reach out using the force to calm herself. Closing her eyes, breathing in and out, she could easily find Ben’s force signature in the nearness. She could feel his own distress for her change of humor.

But what else did he expect from her? the worst thing was that, even after what she had just seen, Rey still ached to be near him, despite all of her annoyance about the situation. Ben’s inner light, she acknowledge, was glowing in contentment while he spoke, as much as she never felt him. But Rey felt completely desperate right now. He seemed to acknowledge because he suddenly answered with a burst of tenderness through the force she wasn’t expecting for him right now.

Yes, the force was speaking of sweetness and belonging and Rey’s belly ached one more time because of the longing to have him closer to her. But then she breathed out a sigh of frustration. He could have stayed with her, explain to her what was going on, instead he chose to hid things to her. She should have been angrier.

How could she be already so desperately full of need for that man? Why was her whole body complaining for the loss of his touch? Suddenly Rey felt that her core was throbbing at the simple thought of his large hands upon her body. The softness of his plump lips, his silky raven hair… No, she couldn’t allow herself to think about him like that.

But Rey knew that she was feeling something deep and special for Ben right now, their bound connecting them as if they would have been just one soul. She could feel his emotions, he was concerned about her, and with her surprise, he was also really scared. She could feel it better right now, how much he was afraid and at the same time so glad and happy that Rey couldn’t bare anymore the turmoil of his emotions. She had to let him go. So she shouted the bound between them with urgency, opening her eyes and breathing in and out with some sharp breath.

After a while, she adjusted herself on the floor and tried one more time to clear her mind. What did just happened? How could he be so happy and scared at the same time? Then something else shifted into the force. An itching behind her neck and suddenly she new that something had changed.

Rey was still deeply lost in her thoughts about Ben when she felt it. Luke’s force signature. How could it be? Then she opened her eyes and the bearded man appeared to her with his piercing blue eyes.

“Rey!” Luke was staring straight into her soul now. His eyes sad but full or resolve. Rey couldn’t prevent herself to exclaim in pure shock.

“Master Luke!”

Continua...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have already written a whole dialog between Luke and Rey and I am pretty proud of myself about it, but I wanted to be sure about some last things...And anyway this chapter was long enough to stop right here.  
> In the next one we will finally reached the moment I had in mind till the beginning for this story  
> I hope you enjoyed. Let me know :) thank you readers :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a particular conversation with an unexpected visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I wanted to thank you all for reading my story. I am sorry because this chapter brought me away a lot of time, but I finally finished it. To be honest I had already wrote more but I thought that it was better to divide the chapter in two because it was really really long and so, here we are. I am sorry but for some explenations you'll have to wait for the second half, so you will see in the next chapter. I hope you will enjoy anyway. As usual, I apologize for my grammar, but I wanted you to know that I really did my best for the plot :) thank you so much

“Rey”

 

“Master Luke!”

The two of them found themselves startled at the same time. They looked into each other eyes in silence for a long moment. Rey breathed out sharply, her mouth slightly open, her lips parted in surprise. It wasn’t just the disbelief to find the master jedi in the same room with her on the Supremacy.

There was more in Luke apparition capable to startle her. It was his gaze. Those blue eyes were piercing straight at her soul. And more over, between the two of them was still lingering the memory of their last confrontation. But despite the surprise and the anxiety. Rey found herself relieved seeing his familiar face.

A part of her was still angry at him for his refusal to help the resistance and because of what did to Ben. But inside of her, she still felt guilty to have been so rude with him too, attacking her own master and deciding to give up on him. If it hadn’t been for the force vision she shared with Ben, she would have never done anything like that.

Rey wasn’t the kind of person who gives up on people so easily. Never. Even in the case of an old bearded grumpy man like Luke or her parents. So there was a shadow of real grief into her hazel eyes when she looked back at him. On the other hand, Luke was feeling conflicted himself about Rey. He had felt betrayed by his new apprentice.

Discovering about her force bound with Ben in that manner had been a real shock for him, in particular in that moment when he had just decided to open himself to the force and go away with her.

Rey’s reckless behavior, being so naïve to go to Kylo Ren without a real plan to come back, was still making him feel unsettled, even if his master Yoda had reminded him to his younger self. When he chose to go to face Dar Veder he was not ready too, but inside he knew that his friends needed him, he couldn’t abandon them.

And Rey had said the same to him. She said that she wanted Kylo Ren by her side to turn the tide of the war. How could he blame her for having took the same choice? Not to mention the fact that it was only thanks to Rey he had finally been able to come back to the force, but… Luke knew deep inside of him that the reason that brought her to his nephew was another.

Chewe told him about the vision they shared, about her dreamy eyes when she talked about him…And so Luke knew that under the excuse to help the resistance, Rey was hiding something else, and probably it was a very intimate reason.

“Rey…Are you all right?” he asked with urgency into his voice.

It took her a bit to really focus on his face, but then she noticed that the Luke she was looking at didn’t really resembled the one she had left of that cliff on Ach-to. A part the different choice of clothes – he was wearing black robes that seemed far too luxurious than his usual old tunic – his beard and his hair were darker and shorter and well-finished, even his eyes seemed the one of a younger man. His face had definitively less creases.

Suddenly realizing that the man was waiting for her answer, Rey blurted out awkwardly:

“I’m fine, but…How’s it possible? Are you really here?” her voice full of wonder. A light smile spread on the man’s face.

“Of course I am not. But this doesn’t matter right now. We have a few time”. Rey waited for him to go on, but Luke looked back at her with expectation.

“Rey I need to know about what happened to you” he finally said with a hint of urgency into his voice “please, tell me”

“You want to know what happened to me?” she asked then, her voice still full of surprise. At that, an annoyed sound escaped from Luke’s mouth. Then she saw him roll his eyes and snort sharply.

“Rey, you didn’t come back! I need to know why!” Luke finally explained.

“Chewe waited for you a long time, but you never reached for the Falcon! Did they captivated you?” Comprehension finally caught her like a jolt of electricity. She blinked a couple of times trying to think fast about where to start to explain to him what happened.

“Oh…yes…I mean…No, not a prisoner…” Luke’s gaze became piercing after her assertion.

Rey saw a sort of shadow passing into those blue eyes. A veil of sadness.

“No, I mean…Nobody really forced me to remain here” she said. “So, you decided to stay? I guessed so…” Luke breathed out with sigh. Then his expression became pure grief. He looked at her directly into her eyes and said: “I’m sorry Rey. I failed you too just like him…So I suppose that this is a farewell” Then Rey saw the master jedi turning to face the wall.

“No! No! Master Luke! Wait!…It’s not what you think…” At that he locked his eyes into hers one more time. And Rey didn’t know if he found what he was looking for, but then he came closer to her and the pain she had seen into his gaze only a few moments before, seemed not that strong anymore.

“Oh really? So why didn’t you come back? You told me that you didn’t even find yourself trapped. So I suppose that…”

“Stop assuming things this way! Let me explain!” she asked him then. And while she was speaking Rey was wearing a challenging expression that made him decide to came closer and sit just in front of her.

Their knees now were almost touching. She didn’t make a move, her breath a little much ragged than before because of the tension that his former master presence was causing to her.

“So why didn’t you came back Rey? I am eager to know” he said quietly. And even if there was that same challenging expression on Luke’s face, his voice sounded much more hopeful than she could have expected from him. So Rey swallowed hard and then she started to clear her point to him, knowing that she really have to choose well her next words.

“You told me to leave!” she finally said in a very accusing tone “and also you were the one who asked me to stay away from the island! And now you are telling me… “ and here her voice broke a little

“ I- I couldn’t simply came back on Ach-to. You made it pretty clear before I left. So now I don’t understand the reason of your concern about me”. For a while Luke seemed really taken aback from her answer, as if he truly didn’t expect to hear that from her mouth. But then he quickly retorted:

“What was I supposed to do with you Rey? You opened yourself to the dark side…for a pair of pretty eyes!” he blurted out with a little much too anger into his voice. The sense of his betrayal easily palpable.

She didn’t expect him to say something like that. For a while she remained silent with her mouth opened in surprise, then she grinded her teethe finding herself full of anger too.

“You don’t have the right to…” but before she could add anything else to her sentence, Luke was already telling her:

“He was trying to lure you to Snoke. And you gave him your trust! How could you be so naïve?” he throw back at her.

“No, no, Ben had never tried to do anything like that! It was Snoke!” she suddenly told him.

“He said he was the one who bridged our minds…”

“And do you think it’s true?” he asked with mockery “of course it’s a lie! He’s not that powerful as he wants you to believe!” Luke suddenly answered, indignation resonating into his sharp tone. Rey seemed to think about his words for a moment and then she instantly knew that Luke was right. Because her bound with Ben was still there even after Snok’s death, still powerful and overwhelming as ever.

“So, what did he want from you? A new apprentice?” Luke asked angrily.

“No. He just wanted me to tell him about you and your location” Rey answered dryly, her eyes looking at the bearded man still furiously. “So, as I imagined, it had been a trap till the beginning…” he affirmed. “And you put yourself in danger. You should have listened to me Rey…So did you tell him?” When Luke made her that last question, she immediately lifted her chin.

An expression of pure disdain portrayed on Rey’s face because the pain of Snoke’s torture was still lingering into the back of her head. “How could you even think about that?” she shouted back at him getting up from the floor to put some distance between her body and Luke’s. He followed her with his gaze but he didn’t move.

“Of course I didn’t! He tortured me because of that!” she finally spitted out. The jedi master looked back at her with an inquiring gaze that made her feel much more than uncomfortable. So Rey used her arms to cover her torso in a self-defensive position.

“Maybe…but now you seem even too well” he pointed out with a hint of sarcasm in his voice “I mean…a part from that little scar on your upper forearm, you are still standing. I really didn’t expect Snoke being so kind and soft with his victims…”. The accusation into his words even too clear to miss it.

“You don’t know the whole story!” Rey answered strongly, but Luke wasn’t listening to her anymore.

“So I have to presume that you had accomplished his desires in another way. Otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now” he breathed out with a sad expression on his face. At that Rey was caught by a rush of pure hatred.

“You are not in the position to talk this way to me! No! No! I tried to do everything in my power to save the Resistance when you didn’t even left a finger…Stubborn, grumpy Bantha of an hermit!” she yelled at him, her emotions of distress vibrating strongly through the force. “Rey…” he tried to say, but now it was her turn to be angry at him.

“When Snoke ordered to his general to blew up the whole fleet, I was still fighting him. I saw them die and I couldn’t do anything! Anything!” she cried out “but at least I tried…You what did you do instead?” Luke at that seemed taken aback. Surprise hit him all of sudden.

“You saw them die?” he repeated her words in shock, his eyebrows furrowed in an incredulous expression. The grief plastered all over her face didn’t admit any other doubt. She wasn’t pretending anything. Rey was truly sad and desperate, as he had never seen her before. “Yes…” she breathed out, now in a low voice “…and I would have been dead too if only Ben didn’t betray Snoke to save my life”.

At that point, a great amount of confused emotions coming from the girl caught Luke completely unprepared. But he didn’t have enough strength to focus his attention much more deeply in to them. He was already tired to the bones just after this few minutes of simple conversation with Rey.

He knew he wasn’t going to resist far too long anyway. He had to know as much as possible about what happened, before his strength decided to abandon him…

“What? Rey, I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”

“The reason why you find me so well…It’s not what you think! I didn’t betray you or the resistance! When Snoke wanted Ben to strike his weapon into my chest…”

“Ben?”

“Yes, Ben, your nephew! This is his real name” she answered strongly letting Luke with his mouth open for the surprise “he pretended to do what he had asked him, instead he enlightened the other saber that was lying at Snoke’s side. He cut that monster in half and then we have to fight against Snoke’s guards…We make it! But then the fleet was already gone…” she finally explained. The anger now almost gone from her voice, replaced by sorrow. Her lips were parted, her eyes were sparkling with hope, the hope that Luke could may understand…

“Ben saved your life killing his master and then you fought together?” Rey heard him repeating her words, maybe to give them some sense, as if without repeating them, they could not be the truth, or it was impossible for him to believe at them, Rey couldn’t really tell. He sounded enraptured.

“Yes…We covered each other’s back until it was finished…” she confirmed, a strange fire into her eyes that Luke couldn’t really identify, even if he was afraid to know how to name it. “Is it true? Did he really…?” the old master asked then, his voice trailing off.

“Yes. I told you that Ben Solo wasn’t completely lost as you thought” Rey spitted out once more.

A moment of silence and then Luke seemed to realize something. She looked at him not really knowing what to expect but Rey had felt a little spark starting to burn into her chest since the moment Luke had appeared in front of her, so she waited for his reply, hopeful, her palms sweating.

So Luke finally started to accepted the idea that Rey never came back because she had thought that they were all dead and she also couldn’t come back to him because he pushed her away.

“Yes…This makes some sense…” Luke murmured with himself, his gaze lost in thought once more. And for a while she saw the same spark even into Luke’s eyes: hope. Her breath became frantic.

“I didn’t really want to stay at the beginning, but Ben…” and this time, pronouncing his true name in front of Luke she blushed while he listened to her with attention.

“…Ben thought that we could try to do something good for the people of the galaxy. But I am pretty much confused about this right now… “ she confessed with a hint of grief in her voice. The memory of the last hours that she had spent alone in the mad bay were still painfully vivid into her mind. She stopped talking to take one sharp breath.

Meanwhile Luke’s expression had changed for the second time. The hopeful look he had shown to her just a few moments before was already faded, replaced with a stunning amount of concern.

“Rey…What happened exactly after your battle with Snoke and his guards? What does he have in mind? You have to tell me the truth…”

“He said…” she whispered, grief merging into her tone of voice and so she stopped again to hold back a sob.

“Rey” her master repeated, his voice quiet but firm. “He said… that he wants to let the past die and build something new from the ashes, he asked me to rule together with him…” and Rey here was about to tell him the whole story when Luke stepped in abruptly.

“Are you sure that he is not trying to use you for your power?” At that she looked at him with bewilderment.

“What do you mean?”

“You said that he killed Snoke to save you. And more over you seem convinced that Ben Solo is already back. But what if he’s still Kylo Ren? What if he’s just trying to use you because of your power Rey? Don’t tell me that you didn’t reflect about it earlier”

“Of course I did…But Ben…”

“Rey, do you even know what it’s happening around you? Did he really involved you into some decisions or he simply promised?” When she didn’t answered, a schoked expression plastered onto her face, Luke swallowed hard with exhaustion, closing his eyes for a while. The heaviness of what he had already heard from Rey reaching for his tired mind. He exhaled sharply, his eyes now open and full of sorrow for the girl he was looking at.

“Then, I am afraid you can’t trust him!” he said then quietly, his voice calm in an extreme attempt to sooth the grief that he knew that was growing inside of the girl “not so openly. Not only because he killed his master. Not now that he has got all the power he could have had desired”. At that the girl was caught by a shiver.

Shame slightly brushing at the edge of her mind. And for a brief moment Luke felt all of her sorrow, painfully matching with his own. Then Rey looked at him with her big hazel eyes and Luke hated himself for having being so blind all that time.

“You already trusted him. You…You left him getting closer to you, isn’t it?”.

At that the girl blushed furiously and Luke intended perfectly what should have happened between them. Exactly as he had feared.

“I-I believed that…I…I can explain…” she tried to say but the words were dying into her throat and she looked so deeply embarrassed and lost while the first tears started to descend on her reddened cheeks that Luke didn’t even felt the desire to blame her. That poor girl had been alone all of her life and he had felt her longing for a her family since the first moment they met. It wasn’t necessary to be opened to the force to see it.

Then Luke suddenly realized that this had been his biggest mistake. He should have been kinder to Rey till the beginning, he told to himself. He should have helped her with the damn cause before she had to leave from the island alone. He should have understood her need for a friendly figure and he should have been that figure for her. But things had already gone in another way. He just hoped that it wasn’t too late for her to come back.

And so the only thing he could think to do in that moment, was trying to remedy to his previous mistakes. Or at least he had to try to fix things as much as it was still possible. “Rey, please, listen to me” and he took a deep breath “Rey the Resistance is still here. They are not dead and I am with them right now” For a second it was as if Luke had just unfastened a bomb.

All the embarrassment and the awkwardness of the previous moment went forget in a second. And Rey’s whole world started to crumble and her mind begin to spinning. Her eyes already full of tears, tried to focus on Luke’s firm face.

“What? It’s not possible…” she suddenly denied in shock, her voice getting acute.

“No, it’s true. They are all safe and sound!” he insisted with a hint of desperation into his eyes, getting up and clasping his hands into her shoulders. At that she looked at him in bewilderment, her eyes widened. Rey felt the warmth of his hands through the layers of her clothes, but she couldn’t feel the weight of Luke’s body.

It was the strangest sensation she had ever felt. So different from her and Ben’s connection on Ach-to… But she couldn’t and either wanted to spend any time to think about it extensively. She was too desperate right now, too confused.

“It’s not possible!” she replied taking two steps backward, while Luke suddenly dropped his arms putting them to his sides.

“I saw the main ship turn into space dust with my own eyes!” she cried out “How could they be safe? You are a liar!”

“No, I am not! I am telling you they are still alive Rey! I am… I am with Finn right now. Your silly friend is even too eager to meet you than me”. At that Rey’s inner turmoil immediately stopped.

“Finn? How do you know about him?” she asked mesmerized. Did she ever talked to Luke about him? She asked to herself. Maybe, when he still didn’t pay attention to her, during her first days on Ach-to. But she doubted that he was really listening to her in that moment. So what was going on? “I told you Rey” Luke insisted,

“I am with the Resistance right now” he repeated with much more calmness, seeing that she finally started to listen to him.

“You mean that Finn is still alive? For real?” tears were rapidly coming down from her eyes even more fiercely.

“For real” Luke answered.

“But how?”

“They made their way on board of some transports, leaving the main ship before the explosion. Then they landed on the planet of Crait. Meanwhile I decided to join them”.

Rey looked at his former master, right into his eyes, and in that moment, she knew he was telling the truth. A sigh escaped from her mouth. She embraced herself even tighter and sniffled.

“Oh Kriff! This changes everything!” she exclaimed then, a bit schoked, a bit happy while the heaviness of Luke’s revelation was finally taking route into her mind.

“Yes, I suppose it does” Luke murmured still looking at her, now with much more comprehension than before “in fact, now it’s time for you to come back…”.

 

Continua...


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Finn has to face some troubles and Rey and Ben have a conversation full of misunderstandings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you readers. I made you wait a lot for this chapter. But I want you to know that this story is my favourite. It's just that the plot is complicated and it takes me more to write it. This chapter hadn't been edited yet, but I am sure you will uderstand anyway. I hope youìll enojy it and I even hope you don't find it too stupid or silly, because with misunderstandis it could happen...But I like this style for the story, not too heavy, and a bit funny like the movie. As usual, if you like, let me know what do you think about it. I promise I'll try to post the next chapter sooner this time. Kisses :)

“Rey, it’s time for you to come back!” Luke said.

His voice firm but full of concern. A long silence fell between them. When she finally spoke, Rey was almost shaking. “I can’t simply come back…” she said to Luke“…I can’t leave Ben alone”. “Rey!” Luke suddenly scold her. “Am I wrong or you just told me that he wanted to bury the past? That he wanted to turn the whole galaxy into ashes?” “It is not like that!” she screamed back at him, but the old jedi master continued with his speech as if she didn’t speak.

“Oh Rey you have to come back!” he exclaimed. “You can steal a ship and go away when he is not in your company… We have already been enough lucky that I found you by yourself right now… Then knowing your location, Chewe and I could meet you half way”

“Please stop! I told you I am not going to leave him!” she said with a sad expression on her face. Luke looked at her carefully. She looked schoked and fragile. Was she the same girl he had met just a few days ago? The one so full of strength and perseverance that had waited for him to speak with her for days under the rain and the cold temperatures? The same that had decided to throw herself into an escape pod towards the unknown just to pursue the goal to bring his nephew back to the light, putting at risk her own life.

Damn! How could she be so stubborn and delicate at the same time? “Oh Rey he won’t go with you!” Luke finally sighed, “not now that he has got all of this power!” the girl had the right to know about it, whatever she had already shared with Ben, it wasn’t too late for her to come back and forget about it.

“But…he doesn’t know…Maybe if I tell him…”

“Rey!” Luke said then with a blaming tone “I am afraid that if you tell him, he will try to stop you and to destroy us definitively. There is still too much darkness in him…”

“I am telling you that…” Rey tried to say but Luke stepped in “we can’t take the risk! The resistance is still alive thanks to a miracle. We are few and we are wounded and without any kind of supplies. He will destroy us” he yelled back.

And Luke knew that his sister would have killed him if she could have heard him saying so. But what other choice had he? He had to protect what was left, now he knew. He was part of this right now and even if it was a difficult choice to make, someone needed to do that.

“So what are you going to do Rey?” he asked then “You want to help him to simply destroy everything all around you? This doesn’t sounds to you just as if you chose a dark path? Like the path of the Sith?” “Stop talking like this! Ben is not a Sith and neither am I!” she affirmed with a deep conviction in her voice.

“And more over, you was the one who thought me that it was time for the jedi to end” she added.

“Rey” Luke breathed out with wide eyes “I don’t know what is going on between you and Ben, and I am glad you are safe, but now you have to promise me that, if you’ll chose to stay, at least you won’t tell him about the Resistance!”

“But…”

“Rey please! Nobody would want Ben Solo to come back more than me right now, believe me! But it isn’t that simple! As I said, the fleet is safe but, you don’t really know what he would have done in other circumstances or what he would do right now if he knew…”

“Then I’ll make sure he will be by our side” she answered firmly. At that Luke was already going to retort with a bitter answer, when they both felt a powerful disturbance in the force all around them. Luke’s concentration faded, the tiredness taking advantage over his no more young body.

“Promise me Rey” he urged to say before the connection could end “he doesn’t have to know about us!” And then the connection got shut.

………………………………………………

Meanwhile, on board of the Millennium Falcon, the troubles had just began… A growl of war announced the decision of the Wookie to turn the ship about 360°degrees. Finn greeted the news with very little enthusiasm.

“Did you become completely crazy?” he screamed in Chewe’s direction from the gun seat. But his friend had already proceeded with his maneuver.

Finn clamped his jaws nervously, closing his eyes for a second. The belt at his waist was fortunately holding him glued to his seat despite the situation. “Now that we are totally upside down my aim will be better for sure!” he complained murmuring to himself with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Then he tried to concentrate once more on his target.

A loud snarl followed with a couple deep growls came from the cockpit up above. That was everything Finn received as an answer before another maneuver reported them upright. He didn’t have the time to get the real meaning of those sounds because another shot coming from the enemy’s gun hit one of their engines on the left.

After the impact, the whole electrical system of the Falcon started to collapse. Many many beeps and other unbearable sounds started to reach for Finn’s stunned ears. Then some red, white and green lights started to go on and off in intermittence. And finally, some smoke invaded his cabin in a very rapid way.

“Ehi…What it this? There is some white smoke down there! EHIII!” he shouted at Chewe, the panic rising into his voice. Meanwhile the ship had gone upside down once more. Finn cursed frantically.

“Turn the damn ship upright!” When Chewe didn’t answered a rush of fear caught him straight into his gut. What if he was passed out because of the impact? Oh no… This way they probably were going to die… And so Finn started to became aware that maybe the situation was worse than he had expected.

But after a few moments of pure panic, they were once more with their feet touching the floor. Finn was frantic. He opened the belt and hurried to exit the gun spot, starting to cough because of the smog. He reached for Chewe with urgency. And in that same moment he felt his own body became lighter.

“Don’t’ tell me that the gravitational system of this old wreck had decided to break right in this moment…” Finn huffed with frustration while a fat porg jumped into his lap screaming and flapping furiously. Unfortunately, Chewbecca was truly passed out as he had imagined. Finn swear in frustration.

“Fantastic! How I am I supposed to handle this?” he growled furiously, then he heard Luke’s voice. “Finn! Dammitt! What the hell had happened?!”. Oh right! Luke! He was in meditation to contact Rey but now…

“Kriff!!!!” Finn yelled, the he let out a deep cry full of frustration. When he started to see all the objects fly all over the cock-pit he cursed a second time.

“FINN!” Luke urged from the other room.

“Luke!” he yelled back “I need help here…Chewe is passed out!” he informed the old jedi.

“Kriff!!!” Luke cursed then finally reaching for the cockpit “And I imagine that the electrical system is gone, right?” When Finn nodded, the bearded man sighed even much sharply.

“The engines had been damaged and also the gravity system is gone” he informed Luke.

“You don’t have to tell me!” he answered with a hint of sarcasm into his voice “Is there something that still works in here?”. Meanwhile the big enemy ship was still at their heel.

“So…Did you reached for Rey? Did you talk with her? Is she safe?” Finn urged trying to steady himself against the wall of the cockpit, one hand grasping at the seat. When another shot from the enemy’s ship almost hit them, Luke gazed back at him with and angry face. “Really? This is what concerns you in this right moment?” he asked rolling his blue eyes.

“Okay…maybe later…What can we do now? There is just one escape pod, I already checked and…”

“Shut up boy!” Luke suddenly stopped him “We are not going to leave the ship, not yet…We need to lose them and land somewhere as soon as possible” he decided.

“But how?” Finn asked with bewilderment “Chewe can’t help us and I am not a pilot!” Luke then sighed another time and reached for Chewe.

“I have been a pilot when I was younger…I can do some maneuvers, but you have to help me with him” he said and then he shifted his position with Chewe. When Finn found himself with the Wookie tossed upon his shoulders, he thanked the loss of gravity.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t have been able to move his unconscious and heavy body even in the time frame of a whole life.

“We need to go upside down” Luke said urging to avoid another shot “prepare yourself. I am going to push the engine as much as I can” he said. “That trick didn’t work! We already tried. You must try something else” Finn explained, almost begging.

He was really to the point to throw up his last meal this time. Meanwhile the smoke had started to reach for the cock-pit. “Trust me boy! The force is with us” Luke said then, his forehead already full of sweat.

“We can make it!” And saying so the Millennium Falcon turned upside down one more time.

…………………………………………………

“Master Luke!” Rey cried out for the third time not receiving a single sound as an answer.

“Kriff!!” she sighed then in frustration. She had just discovered that the whole Resistance hadn’t been reduced into space dust, so why was she so upset? Shouldn’t she be far more than happy about it? Rey sit down on the floor, taking her head into her hands. What was wrong with her? Finn was still alive.

Her friends were still there! So, why the only thing she was able to think about, right now, was Ben? Why her hearth was feeling in pain as if something was squeezing at him? Rey remained silently looking at the void in front of her for a long moment, trying to clear her puzzled mind. She knew why. She couldn’t really bear the idea that Ben had kept that information away from her, that he had lied to her just to… She swallowed hard not being even able to formulate the thought…

“Just to get you laid” her mean mind whispered at her. And so Rey felt a deep sense of desperation and betrayal leaping at her senses. “He just used you, like master Luke had said…because he wanted your powers…” the voice said into her mind.

“Nobody could have really loved you…because you are noting…” the voice kept saying. And she knew that it was just her fear talking. For years she had managed to kept that voice at bay, during the worst days on Jakku, lying to herself, to survive.

But now she was mature enough to face her own worst fears. She had to. Therefore, Rey knew she had to consider the idea that maybe, Ben had never existed. He had been Kylo Ren whole the time…

A tear escaped from her eyes and she struggled to contain a whimper. Brushing her eyes with his hands, she finally decided to stand up. She couldn’t keep doing this. She had to be stronger than this.

So she reached for the door of the little room she had choose to hide herself in and then she started to walk straight to Ben’s quarters. …………………………………………………………………

He had already read the reports on his olopad for at least five times when he finally get the courage to come back to his quarters. He knew that Rey was already there. Her force signature was as strong as ever.

He could feel her clear distress through the bound. Ben was still deeply worried since the moment she had chosen to shut the connection with him in the first hours of the afternoon. Obviously, she was angry with him.

There wasn’t other explanation. He had expected a similar reaction from her, but probably, deep into his hearth, he had hoped she could be more comprehensive. He was already feeling so ashamed because of his lack of self-control. He knew she would have blamed him for that reason and now he had to face her.

Probably she was still a little dizzy because of the surgery. Ben looked at the little box into his hands and swallowed hard, then he breathed out a big sigh before to press his palm into the lock that headed to his quarters. The door slide open with a hiss. He knew that bring her some stupid stuff as a present, wouldn’t have cancelled his guilty and reckless behavior, but he still hoped that it could somehow help.

He remembered that his father was used to make her mother some gift, from time to time, just to say: ‘I love you’, or more often ‘I am sorry’. But when he entered the living room he had already regretted his choice.

He had brought her a stupid band to cover the scar on her upper arm. It was a nice one, really comfortable, elastic and colored in red and purple and black. But know that he was thinking better about it, he should have brought her something nicer, like…who knows…some flowers? Girls usually like those stuffs…And she probably liked them too, considering that she was grown up in a desert backwater planet like Jakku. Worst.

To give her a present like the one he chose, was like to admit that he found her new scar unpleasant to see…even if he didn’t truly thought about it in that way…He was just wondering about something useful to give her, something she would have accepted without thinking that maybe he could have feelings for her…

But why? Why was he still struggling with himself about it? It was obvious that he HAD feeling for her right now. He also called her sweetheart… So why did he kept acting so weird near her? Why didn’t he told her the truth about his proposal to rule with her? He was such a jerk! He knew why. The reason was as simple as terrifying. He was afraid that she could change her mind and leave him. Even after what they shared…he wasn’t still sure of himself.

After all, she never told him that she loved him or anything like that.

The mere fact that she had allowed him to get her laid didn’t mean anything. Yes, she told him that she had never done that before and she truly seemed as inexperienced as him while they were touching themselves, plus there was their bound…But it wasn’t like he could always read in her mind.

On the contrary, she had developed a great power within her, able to shut him off whatever she wanted. And then there were all those insinuations that Hux had done about her rising in a place where the customs were pretty different from the ones of a more civilized society.

No no, no, he had to stop that line of thoughts or he was going to became crazy. It was just that he had never felt so jealous about someone before. He had to calm down and ask for her for her forgiveness. He was just deeply afraid that she wouldn’t have understood. But anyway he had to face her.

So Ben entered the bedroom with his heart beating fast into his chest, but he tried to look firm and resolute as ever, as if a knot hadn’t formed into his throat. “Hi” he greeted her keeping his eyes distant from hers, not finding the courage to look into those angel eyes just to find her angry at him. “Hi” she greeted him back in a flat tone that let him stunned.

“So…are you mad at me?” he asked directly to the point with his sad eyes still avoiding her face. Rey remained silent for a long moment. She had waited for him for a scandalous amount of time before he considered the idea to finally come back to his quarters and so she had a lot of time to think about the whole situation. So the answer at that question was obvious.

“Of course I am mad Ben! Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked looking at his directly into his eyes, and then he forced himself to look at her face and then he exhaled a big sigh full of frustration. How could he take all those decisions at her back, not involving her as he had promised, trying to distract her with a stupid excuse, and then expect her not being mad at him? She could be young and naïve, but she wasn’t a stupid.

And so Rey felt almost offended. Ben should have guessed that she knew about his announcement, because he didn’t even try to deny about it. “I…I really didn’t want to upset you…” he said with a sad voice full of concern. She didn’t expect him to be so honest about it so easily.

From a certain point of view she felt grateful about it. Rey could even feel her hearth losing a bit, hit by another stupid wave of hope , a hope that she shouldn’t have allowed her hearth to feel, but she really couldn’t fight that feeling right now. It would have been a hopeless effort and she knew it. So she decided to welcome the sensation into her heart just to feel it getting warmer at every breath they made.

“Sure. So, why didn’t you tell me?” she asked then, trying to maintain herself focused. She had to know. Master Luke had woken up too many doubts into her mind.

Now she couldn’t really let him making fun of her. Meanwhile Ben was struggling with his shame. He didn’t expect her being so direct about it, but here they were and she had all the reasons by her side.

“Because…” he started to say “…You know…It is pretty complicated and…” Ben couldn’t really find the words. How could he admit in front of her that he was such a childish man? A man who was not able to contain his lowest instincts.

“Of course it is…but this thing regards us both, isn’t it? Don’t you think that I should have been informed before about it? How could you take all the decisions by yourself?!” she complained. The memory of him acting as supreme leader, talking at the crowd in that holo communication, still painfully impressed into her mind.

“I know…I made a mistake…” he answered, sincerely mortified. He really hadn’t any justification. He had acted like a real jerk. He knew he wasn’t the man she had expected him to be, but he also wanted to apologize and make her know that from now on he would have taken care of her much more seriously. He wasn’t really planning to became a father right now, at least not so soon and much more important, not against her will.

She wanted her to be happy to stay with him and share his company. They would have talked about it later, maybe after their marriage…But, he wasn’t still sure about the fact that she would have agreed to marry her….There were so many steps they had to take before… “Well, for sure you did” she answered dryly, her eyebrows furrowed.

“…I…I Thought you was the one supposed to teach me how to do this…” she confessed then with a hint of disappointment into her voice. In the end, he was the one who had raised in a rich and powerful family, the one who was used to live in luxury and between dozens and dozens of people who were supposed to accomplish his every desire.

And in fact, since she had made her first step on board of the Supremacy he had acted just like the leader she had expected. So, why he didn’t trust her enough to share his concerns with her? He really thought she was too stupid to understand?

Or worst…He really didn’t care at all about her opinion as Luke had suggested? In the same moment Rey made him that question, Ben’s cheeks became completely red with shame and embarrassment.

“I see” he said coughing a couple of time, trying to survive at the lump that was forming into his throat “I think you are totally right. But…I want you to know that from now on I…”

“I don’t know if I should trust you right now…” Rey blocked him before he could finish his statement. Ben had to take it without being able to retort.

After a long moment of silence in which both of them looked at each other, thoughtfully, he said: “Please, don’t say something like that, sweetheart…” he pleaded in a thin voice.

“Don’t call me like that! I am mad at you right now…Calling me with that way isn’t going to change things at your favor. I want you to promise me that you are going to be much honest from now on” she answered angrily. At that Ben swallowed hard and kept silent for a long moment blinking at her mortified.

“Rey” he said then forcing himself to say her name out loud, even if in that moment it felt so bitter-sweet he felt almost confused about it. “I know that maybe I don’t deserve your thrust right now, but I will be honest from now on. I swear and…” he paused taking a deep breath.

“Maybe I should confess to you that I wasn’t completely sure about that myself…” he finally said.

“The truth is that…” he swallowed again “I have never had the occasion to do something like that before…I know you expected differently but, under Snoke…I wasn’t allowed to…He said I was weak and…All I have to do was train and became stronger and…” he blurred out in confusion. When Rey looked back at him with a frown, he stopped to take another breath.

He was sweating far more than he had imagined.

“Is that an excuse? Stop it! The real point is that you made me believe something else and now…How could I know that I can trust you?” she asked, her eyes shining with tears.

“I am sorry” he urged to say then “But… I just wanted you to feel comfortable and safe and…I thought that pretending to be much confident would have helped” his lower lip was trembling by now, his whole body almost shaking even if he was struggling to look calm.

“So you have to pretend you knew what you were doing instead of maybe…telling me the truth?” she insisted angrily.

“Maybe I would have helped. I can still help” she finished giving him a serious gaze. At that Ben’s blood forze into his veins. What was she suggesting? Had he been that bad? Was she upset not just because of she had to run the risk, or was there something more? For a brief moment, Ben felt the urge to leave the room, shame running straight towards his soul.

He knew he hadn’t been able to give her the great first time that she deserved, but this… This was far more humiliating… Rey looked at the man in front of her with bewilderment. If she hadn’t knew better that he wasn’t the kind of man who blush, she would have guessed that Ben was blushing hard till the tip of his ears right now.

And anyway, what he would have blushed for? They were just talking about politics in that moment, right? “Ben…” she started, and now her voice was a little less angry because his strange reaction to her words, had somehow placate her mood in a way she didn’t expect.

“It’s okay…I just want you to promise me that you will be always sincere from now on…” she said. At that he looked up at her and sighed heavily, still struggling not to fall apart.

“I promise” he said. “I am sorry” and saying so he finally remembered about the little present he had brought her.

“Now please, I want you to take this” he said showing her the little box he had between his hands. She looked at him in bewilderment for a long moment.

“What’s this?” she asked then. “It’s nothing…I just thought that maybe…It’s for your forearm…” he said, agitation emerging at every new word.

“If don’t want to wear it you can always…” he was saying but right then Rey had already opened the little box and upon her face had blown up a wide smile that left him speechless.

“This is like a present?” she asked in a piercing voice that he didn’t expect to hear. She sounded full of amusement and joy. “For me?” she continued still puzzled looking at him as if she expected to be reprimand at any moment because she had done something wrong. “Do you like it?” he asked then a little relieved.

“Yes. Of course I like it” she urged to answer looking at the little red piece of fabric.

“Nobody had ever made me a gift before…I mean, a part from your mother. She gave me some new clothes when I joined the resistance and…” but at that she suddenly stopped her speech, realizing that the subject was still a little sensitive for Ben.

“Sorry…” she urged to say. “I….Thank you” she smiled at him and then she finally decided to reduce the distance between them and he grabbed him in an embrace.

He didn’t expect a reaction like that one. Just a few moment before he would have wanted to leave the room and now he found himself glad to have thought about that silly present that, apparently had been able to make her that happy. He hugged her back and inhaled sharply her sweet smell closing his eyes. After a few seconds he made one step backward to look at her in the eyes, suddenly caught by a revelation.

“I am sorry…I haven’t even asked you about the surgery. I know it’s a routine surgery, but how do you feel? Are you all right?” and from his voice she could hear real concern. At that Rey’s jaw almost dropped to the floor.

Damn! She had completely forgotten about that! After saying him acting as supreme leader without any advice and then talking with Luke, her mind had been too busy with other issue to even remember about that.

And now that Ben was looking at her with that relieved expression, Rey started to feel deeply ashamed for her earlier behavior. For some reasons she knew that she should have done as she had requested her.

Even if she couldn’t really understand the exact reason of his insistence, it was pretty obvious that he thought that that little surgery was important for her. But probably was just a stupid thing, some protocol, standard treatment that rich people use to do just to be scheduled or so. She didn’t really needed it.

More over she was so tired right now. She had had enough emotions after that long day and she didn’t really want to argue with him for that meaningless matter.

Rey knew that she was going to be a real hypocrite, after all her complaining about honesty and mistrust. But she really couldn’t avoid to skip the topic.

She was too eager to lean into his embrace right now to think about that. “I am fine. It had not been too unpleasant, anyway. I didn’t felt anything” she lied hoping that this way, they would have bought out the subject for the last time. “But now I’d like to sleep…I feel a little tired” she said coming back hugging him.

Ben stood completely still for a while, lingering in that moment as if he was dreaming instead of being wide awake.

“Can I hold you?” he asked then in a murmur directly into her hear, his hands almost shaking.

“Of course, come here” she said pulling him towards the bed with her. And Ben Solo couldn’t let her wait for another minute.

He reached for the bed in less then one second. When they fall asleep that night, their bodies were still tangled to each other, still seeking for warmth, love and comprehension.

They both felt so much of each other through their bound, that it was incredible how much they were still able to hide things to one another. But probably the force had its own will and humans were not allowed to know about its plans.

 

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I had this idea in mind since the beginning. Maybe I should have wrote something better, but I am happy about the plot. Rey and Ben are both insecure and they still don't know if they can trust each other, even if they love each other so much. This is my vision of the two of them for this story. In the next chapter there will be probably another taste of smut and more plot... because it is not finished yet. Their interior torment is just began. See you next chapter. And if you like, leave me a comment. Love you all :*


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I wrote the last part of this chapter in a rush, so it probably will be full of errors, but I am going to fix them, as soon as possible. I wanted to post it anyway because it's been a while since the last update and so, I hope you will enojoy it. I am a lot busy at the moment, but I like this fandom too much not to think about these space lovers. Kisses :*

Despite all her concern about the Resistance and Ben’s earlier behavior, Rey found herself glad to feel the warmth of his embrace one more time. She had feared the moment they would have had that conversation, expecting him to react with anger or trying to explain to her that she was wrong about all of it. Instead, Ben had immediately admitted his fault with such a kindness that Rey hadn’t had the hearth to stay angry at him.

Because she knew it. Luke was wrong even this time. Ben Solo was a totally different person from the one he had pictured. He didn’t understand! Ben was confused and scared just like her about the fact that now they were supposed to rule upon the whole galaxy. The power wasn’t his real interest. He had acted that way in order to let her feel safe and more over he kept caring about her health and now he even made her a small gift… Yes, it was silly about her to giggle so much because of a single little present. She had already received some other stuffs, like clothes and boots and underwear, form the first order, but that was something different. It was something personal.

Rey could read it into Ben’s eyes, she could see all the trepidation hidden behind those black pools, the fear of her possible rejection. She had felt his relieve in the moment she had accepted the gift and smiled back at him. His joy now was her own, and not only because there was that particular bound between them. There was something more. Rey had never felt so loved in her whole life, and she somehow knew that for Ben it was the same.

So she couldn’t believe that Ben had been hiding from her the real situation of the rebels for the whole time. No. It wasn’t possible. He didn’t knew about them, she was almost sure about that. The only problem was that the doubt made her feel deeply unconfortable right now. So, when she woke up in the middle of night, Rey sighed heavily and snuggled against Ben’schest, wishing for a moment that they would have met differently, maybe being part of the same side of the war and not in that painful circumstances. He answered hugging her tightly with his strong arms and so she sighed once more. He was barely awake but he immediately sensed that something was wrong with her, in fact Ben asked:

“Ehi…What’s wrong?”. His voice was low and rough. Rey shivered feeling his hot breath against her ear. “Nothing” she answered taking a deep breath. Then there was a long moment of silence and finally Ben spoke again: “I can’t do anything if you don’t tell me about it…But I feel it…What’s it?” he insisted. But Rey remained silent. She couldn’t tell him about the rebels, even if she really wanted to. She knew that Ben wasn’t the monster they all believe he was, but she was still too confused about the situation. Before deciding to trust him or not, she had to think and formulate a strategy.

Deep into her hearth she would have wanted to ask him to simply go away with her. To leave the first order and that brat of General Hux and join the right side of that conflict. So they would have finally had the occasion to stay by the same side, together and between good people, not having to care anymore about looking over their own shoulders. Yes…That was definitively what her little hearth wanted. But Rey wasn’t so naïve to think that he would have agreed with that plan. “I said it’s nothing…” she muttered still leaning against his chest. Rey was so sad right now.

When Luke had told her about the real situation outside, for a while in her head everything had finally seemed to fit in the right place: she and Ben together with the resistance…her friends, still alive. But that was just her most desperate part speaking. Because Luke had said that the rebels were really few right now, and in the brief time she had already spent on board of the Supremacy, Rey had taken acknowledge of how much powerful the first order was.

They had the most advanced technology she had ever seen, military corps and resources that the Resistance couldn’t even hope to gather in a whole existence. Ben had been wise when he said that it was a better choice to rule upon the first order, rather than have to face him…And Rey really wanted to believe that he was acting for the best, that he was different from Snoke or Hux. He had to be like this, because, just like when she left Ach-to to reach for him, she was still thinking at Ben Solo as the last hope of the resistance, the last hope for the good, poor people of the galaxy.

But she was still confused about his behavior. His way of acting was so strange sometimes…One moment he was rude and he hided things to her, then he was kind and gentle and he kissed her passionately and…Rey blushed at the memory of him upon her, the guttural moans that he made while he was grinding against her naked body. He had been so gentle even in that moment. But, after that, he was back acting rude and mysterious and he did things at her back. How could she trust him to the point to risk the lives of the people she care the most? What was she supposed to do right now?

“Rey….” Ben breathed directly into her ear. She swallowed hard and slightly shivered when his hands, so much bigger then hers, reached for her belly and started to brush against her bare skin, under her shirt, just a few inches above her core. Rey hold on her breath, almost expecting his hand to lower a bit more, her hearth pounding into her ears, and unbidden rush of desire starting to brush at the edge of her mind.

She almost felt disappointed when she realized that he didn’t have any intention to get lower with his ministrations. “I know you are not use to complain about the pain when you feel wrong, but I am here with you right now” he said unexpectedly.

“I can help you to soothe the pain…Did you took some medicines? You are cold…Your skin is freezing” he said just before kissing her on the neck. For a long moment Rey didn’t understand what he was talking about, then right when she was about to ask, she remembered about the little surgery she was supposed to do the previous afternoon. Why does he looked so concerned? Was that something so unpleasant to suffer? Fortunately, she had choose not to do that. Because now she had got a much bigger issue to care about. “I’m fine” she answered leaning into his warmth

“And anyway, here it’s always cold” she said as if it was a matter of fact. Kylo made a little smile and then he murmured to her: “I’ll be glad to warm you up” he offered. And so she blushed even deeply but she let him hold her against his chest. She felt him nuzzling his nose against her head and taking a deep breath.

“You smell so good…” he said then in a whine. And Rey felt herself dizzy at the sensation of his huge body pressed against her. She automatically squeezed her tights, knowing that the strange sensation of pleasure she had already felt before, was building inside of her and growing stronger at every shared breath.

They remained silent for a long moment, just breathing and snuggling. Then they looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment and Rey lost the tide of her thoughts. Because his eyes…How could his eyes be the eyes of someone evil? He looked like an angel. Those dark pools were so needy, so trusting right now…Rey felt once more, the same electricity that had brought her on board of the supremacy. And so she knew. She couldn’t really tell him about the Resistance. And not because she feared his probably reaction…But because she didn’t wanted to choose. Until nobody knew about that, she could stay in Ben’s company because now they were on the same side. She wasn’t prepared to risk to lose him, not now that they had just discovered themselves. Not now that she was finally not alone anymore. The Resistance was still there, she knew that.

And sooner or later she would have had to face that reality…but for now, she could still pretend not to know about it. She could still pretend that there wasn’t a war anymore, because, despite her grief for her friends, the thought of being freed from that weight, had felt good. For a while she didn’t have to fight anymore…She could rest, and being loved. And Rey didn’t even remember a time in which those things had been so real for her. So she decided to pretend.

Once more. Just like when, to survive on Jakku, she had choose to pretend that her parents would have come back for her…Just for a while. Then she would have tried to help them somehow from the inside. They still have Luke by their side. Nobody really needed her. Nobody but Ben Solo. They have to find a way to rule upon the first order in a way that it didn’t have to oppress poor peoples anymore. The high ranks had to be changed and some measures had to be taken about General Hux and the whole system of enrollment for the Stormtrooper and…

“Ben…” Rey started, her voice less than a whisper.

“What are we going to do right now?” but then her stomach started to growl and every concern about politics and establishment, vanished from her mind once more.

“Well…I suppose that your stomach has just gave you an answer” he said with a giggle. Another growl from her stomach cancelled any doubt. Rey felt her cheeks getting warmer in embarrassment, but she couldn’t contain a giggle herself. It was so strange seeing him acting so spontaneously. His smile was something special. The intensity of his eyes when they were full of mirth let her stunned every single time. He was so handsome… Ben suddenly rushed to the panel positioned against the wall to press the button of the com-link. Losing the warmth of his body all of a sudden made Rey whine in displeasure, and so she looked at him with disappointment.

“Ben?...Where are you going?” she asked, suddenly missing the warmth of his touch. Her voice sounded whiny even to her own ears and the smile upon his face widened. “Don’t worry sweetheart, I was just ordering us something to eat. I didn’t have any intention to go away from you, but I can’t let you starve either” he said.

“Now that I think about it, we didn’t even had dinner yesterday evening. I am sorry…I am not used to eat much, and I saw that you were tired so…” he passed one hand through his black hair his gaze full of worry. She couldn’t avoid to smile at him kindly.

“Don’t worry…I am not used to eat much too” she said trying to sound not too sad about that. The topic about food was a delicate one for Rey. He seemed to acknowledge about it. In the end he had been into her head for a while and so he had the time to see how her life on Jakku had really been like before their first encounter.

At night desperate to sleep. You imagine an ocean.

Ben remained stiffen at his place in front of the door of their bedroom – because yes, it definitively was theirs now and not just his – and for a few seconds he looked at her with a sad gaze that she didn’t recognize.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked a little puzzled. He scratched at the back of his head with his bare hand.

“Nothing” he answered and he swallowed.

Then after a long moment of silence in which she glanced at him suspiciously, he finally added:

“You are beautiful”.

And even If she shouldn’t have blushed after what they had already shared, Rey’s face became completely red. It wasn’t the first time that he said to her something like that, but the way his eyes lingered upon her body, the tone of his voice, so low and rough, made her feel vulnerable and needy.

Goosebumps forming upon her skin.

“Please Ben don’t say something like that…” she answered after a while, her eyes lingering dangerously on his body too. The shape of the muscles of his shoulders and arms made something to her core and so she had to shift her gaze and look at him directly into his eyes. But what she found there wasn’t less threatening. “Why not?” he suddenly retorted staring back at her.

“You are beautiful” he insisted “and furthermore, you were the one to ask me what I was thinking about”. At that Rey became even more red. “I didn’t expect you to think about me like that…I mean, I thought we have to talk about the next moves to restore the order to the galaxy and… ” she said in a quiet voice sounding mesmerized.

“Not today. Before we have to take some time just for us” Ben rushed to answer. In that same moment a beep communicated to them that the droid carrying their food was arrived. Ben pressed his palm against the panel and the door switched open.

The droid was carrying a whole cart full of food. He let it on the entrance and then he left. In the same moment the door flew closed at his back, a sudden realization flashed into Rey’s mind.

“Are you saying that we are going to stay here and eat together? I mean…We have plenty of things to do and discuss about the war. In this same moment, out there It’s probably happening something that needs our attention and I thought that…” she explained but then Ben came back on the bed next to her.

Without any hesitation he kissed her on the mouth, a sweet, light kiss, that let her stunned as well. She wasn’t used to that kind of affection, and after the confusion of the previous day she had expected to argue with him about the decisions that had to be taken. Not this kind of diversion. Ben looked at her lost expression and sighed, taking one of her hands into his.

“I know what do you mean…Believe me! But I thought a lot about that and…Maybe taking a few ours just for the two of us wouldn’t make any damage. I am still sorry for what happened before and I assure you that now, nobody will bother us anymore” he said in a tender voice. At that, Rey looked at his face, his eyes had never been so intense. She felt herself shiver.

“Don’t worry…” Ben suddenly added “we don’t need to do anything like that…You know…I just want to stay here and eat, to talk with you and maybe hold you…maybe to feel your skin against mine…” he said blushing slightly after having expressed his desires “but, I don’t want to force you to do anything else. You need to rest”.

“Ben” she started to say but then he continued: “I can let you rest by yourself if you like” and his face was still so full of concern that, in that moment, Rey couldn’t really hold back a wide smile.

“No....There is no need…I… Please, come here” she said patting at the edge of the bed near her. He accomplished eagerly carrying one of the dishes full of food into his hands.

Normally he wouldn’t have choose to eat directly into the bed. There was a table in the near room. Once somebody would have blamed him about this, but he didn’t bother about good manner anymore, not since he had left his mother’s tutelage, and either under Snoke. He used to take the most part of his meals into his private quarters since he had memory and that space had always been a sort of shelter for him.

A place with no rules a part from the one he allowed and he really couldn’t care less about food and etiquette. Not since he decided to become a warrior and nothing more. There were always the droids ready to make some laundries when he stained the sheets or when he made some crumb on the floor.

Moreover he used to follow a special diet poor of carbohydrate and full of proteins to maintain his body vigorous and not gather fat. But this time he had ordered a special meal just for her. It was something warm, cooked in an oven, a meal that would have provided some extra energy for her skinny body. In the same moment Rey inhaled the smell of the food, her mouth watered. She was full of yearning. A not just for the food.

“What’s this? It smells really good” she said when he finally offered the dishes to her, the voice full of wonder and her eyes wide open while she was staring at her full plate. “It’s a sort of stew made of meat and potatoes…” he answered, “it’s nothing very elaborate to do but it was one of my favorite dishes when I was younger” Rey didn’t waste any time. She suddenly picked up a spoon and she started to taste the food. Her taste buds immediately sparkled enthusiastically.

“Oh Kriff! This is delicious!” she said, while she was still chewing, her mouth open wide. But in that same moment she felt the heat spreading onto her tongue… “And hot!” she added, trying her best not to get burned.

That was the first time she ate something in front of him, and Ben knew perfectly that it wasn’t polite to laugh at her so openly, but he couldn’t hold back a giggle when she run for the full glass situated on the nearness of the try and she gulped vigorously. She coughed a couple of times before to regain her composure to be able to blame at him.

“What was that?” she asked after a moment. It tasted different from the kind of water I was used to. At that Ben laughed openly in front of her. Rey felt a little embarrassed but she found his smile adorable and so she really couldn’t get mad at him because of this. “It’s not nice to laugh at me in that way” she said anyway with her eyebrow raised in a scowl “this is really unfair Ben Solo!”.

And her intention was to sound threatening but all she obtained was another wide smile from him. “It tasted different because it wasn’t water…” he finally answered biting at his lower lip with a glint of guilty into his eyes.

“I was about to tell you, anyway…But you simply didn’t let me the time to explain” he confessed. When he saw that Rey’s face had become seriously worried, he rushed to say: “Ehi, it’s okay. I wished you could savor it properly the first time you drank it, but it’s not a big deal. We have got a full bottle right there and more over, that was just a single glass. I don’t think I’ll affect you until the second one”.

“What is it?” she asked then with curiosity. Then she seemed to think better trying to catch the taste that was still resting on her tongue despite the sensation of burning was the strongest. “It’s called wine…It’s not that common in places with hot temperatures because it can make you feel warmer, even if, his real effect is to make your inner temperature decrease…”

“Can I take another glass, please?” she asked then with the same eagerness that he could have seen in a little child.

“Of course” he said smiling at her and spilling the liquid from the bottle into her glass. Rey looked at the drink with a curious stare, and then she took a little sip to savor it properly this time. After a while, her eyes widened. “I have never had the occasion to drink something this delicious before” she exclaimed rushing to take another sip.

“How do they do this?” she asked just before drinking once more. “It’s made with fruit and…Maybe I should have warned you to drink it slowly because this could affect your brain a little if you are not used to it. In particular when you haven’t put anything in your stomach before” Ben said then.

A little apprehension into his voice.

“Really? So I had to presume that you are trying to make me drink so I would let my guard down?” she suddenly teased at him. Rey was just joking, and maybe the effects of the wine had already started to manifest. Anyway Ben Solo couldn’t avoid to blush.

“No, it’s not like that…I…I supposed that maybe you would have liked it and…” he said. In the meantime, Rey had already filled his glass with wine and was outstretching her hand towards him.

“Now you are going to drink it too…” she said. “I don’t want to be the only one with her brain affected by this thing…It is unfair”. At that Ben started to shook his head in amusement. She smiled at him and he felt something melt into his chest. How much time had passed since he had felt this way in the company of someone else?

Her spontaneity, her sweetness. Everything about her made him feel happy and light and…He didn’t even had the words for that feeling. He was lost. Completely and definitively lost in that wonderful dream that was Rey. He did as she had requested and he sip from his glass looking at her perfect rose lips with a renewed desire to taste them against his own.

The red wine had made them seem even more attractive and sensual. Ben had to hide a sigh of frustration in the same moment he realized that his train of thoughts had already brought him to the point to feel uncomfortable into his thick pants. It wasn’t time for that thoughts right now. She was still recovering and he had to be patient.

And more over, he was still planning to make her the official proposal to became his wife, and before he just needed some time to let her trust him. He couldn’t simply act like a wild animal in heat. He had to show her that he cared. Ben was about to say something else about the wine to go back to giggle with her, when he noticed that Rey’s face had become pensive.

“Ehi, what’s up?” he asked, a little worried. “Are you okay?” She looked at him with a sad smile.

“Yes…I am fine…It’s just that...” and she waited a moment to gain the strength to give voice to her thougts.

“To be honest, there was just one other time that I still remember, when I have eaten and drunk something different form the dehydrated portions that I traded with Hunkar and the dirty water of the well spring on Jakku” she said.

“The seaweed and the dried fish that I could find on Ach-to doesn’t count because…that was different. I even ate a porg one time…” she whispered almost to herself. At that, Ben looked at her with curiosity, not really knowing what she was talking about, but his expression became much more serious when he saw that Rey’s had just became sad all at once.

“I don’t know what a porg is. But, there is no need to share if you don’t feel like…” he was already about to say, but then she lifted her gaze from her plate to stare directly into his eyes just to say: “It had been that day…Just before the light saber called to me. You know, I was already telling myself that I wouldn’t ever forget that moment because that food was the most delicious that I had ever tasted but…” and for a while Ben would have swear to have seen her eyes glooming with tears, her voice a little broken by now. Tthen she took a deep breath and she continued with the same calmness.

“But…the truth was that I was happy not just about the food, but because…” and so her voice broke for the second time. Ben didn’t need to read into her head to know what she was about to say.

“You weren’t alone” he finished for her the sentence. And so Rey stared back at him, her effort to hold back her tears much more evident at this point. “For once you could share your meal with someone” he kept saying “and not just anyone but…someone who care about you, someone who wanted to share his food without expecting something in exchange”. Meanwhile he talked, he was getting closer to her, his eyes reading her emotions on her face, hit directly at her soul.

“Ben, I already told you that I don’t want you to read in my mind…” she started, her voice firm, suddenly taken aback by his perfect lecture of her thoughts.

“I am not doing that right now” he grumbled in a hiss.

“But I saw that before…” and so his gaze became sad too. “The one who payed you your first meal after having offered you a stupid job on that old piece of junk…” he started to said out loud not being able to stop the rush of anger and guilt that caught him completely unprepared.

“You know, he used to bring me a stupid sweet that tasted of sawdust and mint, every single time he came back from one of his journeys” he said then still looking openly into Rey’s eyes. She looked at him holding her breath for a while.

“Ben…” she murmured full of incredulity. “He said that he still remembered it as the most delicious food he had ever eaten. When he was young, he raised in a place named Correllia where the only edible things were the same horrendous portions that you had to straggle to obtain on Jakku. The empire didn’t want to waste any resource for the poor slaves of the factories or the junk traders like him” At that statement, Rey frowned and looked at him in bewilderment.

“What?” “Yeah…I still hate the sweets and in particular that one, but I can’t take away that memory from my mind every time I taste something made with some mint inside”

“Ben…I had no idea that Han…”

“Oh I imagined that you didn’t know about that. He didn’t talk too much about that part of his life. Not even to us, anyway” he said passing one hand through his black hair. Rey didn’t miss the use of the word “us” and the clear reference to his mother, but she didn’t say a word about that. She was still shocked, processing the idea that Han Solo, the general of the Resistance of the tales of when she was a child, Han Solo…her friend, before to became a legend, he had been a sort of scavenger just like her.

“Ben, is it true? For real he raised in a planet of factories and worked as a slave? How could he get out of there…?” she was too curious to contain herself, even if she perfectly knew that the subject was thorny. “I suppose that this was the main reason why he felt an instinctual sympathy for a scavenger like you” he answered.

And for a while Rey felt herself almost offended by his previous statement despite the fact that he didn’t seem to have any intention to sound offensive. The constant remind of her humble origins, still ached into her chest, but Ben didn’t seem to notice and he continued with his reverie.

“He wasn’t the kind of man who enjoys the company of the others without a second purpose…I mean…Probably he had found you far more pleasant than me and my privileged life but…”.

At that Rey finally decided to stop him. “What do you mean?”. He looked at her a little puzzled. “Why did he have to find me more pleasant than you? This doesn’t make any sense…You were his son” he said, fighting with herself not to think to the fact that, sometimes, being someone’s child, didn’t make any difference if they didn’t love you enough. Ben snorted and looked at her sadly.

“My mother…” and so his voice craked a little and he had to drink some of his wine to go on. “She was still a princess, after all. She wanted me to raise in an environment adequate to someone of my rank, or so the thought he answered looking into her eyes and then taking one brief pause. He snorted for the second time.

“You don’t have any idea about how confused I was by their constant arguments about my education. The only thing I was certain, was that I didn’t seem to fit anywhere. And this was before that my powers started to show or increase” he concluded in a suggestive tone “I let you imagine what came after that moment. I tried to be what they wanted me to be. Strongly. But probably there had always been something wrong with me, I don’t know… ” ha said before to spill other wine into his glass, but then Rey stopped him touching his arm with one hand. Because now Rey was feeling a natural pull towards him.

An instinct to project herself towards him to protect him, even from himself and his self-hatred. “Ben…There isn’t anything wrong about you” she said. “People makes mistakes. Mothers, fathers…But you had been the one who told me to let the past die” she sighed while his eyes were piercing directly into her soul.

“You know, after that conversation, I thought a lot about your words…And I realized that I was still projecting myself in the past…For example, I used to comb my hair into three bunch just like when I was a child. I didn’t like it anymore, but I used to think that, maybe, that way, my parents would have recognized me when they would have come back to Jakku. Then I realized that I wasn’t on Jakku anymore and that it was time for me to change. You gave me some good advices because you know what the solitude is and…” She couldn’t finish her speech, because now Ben was kissing her deeply on the mouth with passion.

Rey wished she could be stronger than that. She was still puzzled from the events of the previous day and she still didn’t know what to do about her friends, that now, she knew, they were still alive. But her mind felt really dizzy right now and Ben’s hands roaming towards her chest didn’t help her inner turmoil to calm down.

Her body was on fire and the yearning for his kisses didn’t seem to quiet even when he lay down with her on the bed and started so asking access to her mouth. She could have died, burned alive into that fire. But Rey didn’t seem to care at all about the danger. She parted her lips and welcomed him between her legs when he shifted upon her body. When he moaned into her mouth, her core throbbed of pleasure.

 

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little part of Rey's speech...I have to admit... I took it from a song: "No one is alone", from the movie "Into the wood". You can find it on Youtube. And if you haven't seen this movie already, I suggest you to do it. It's wonderful :)
> 
> "No one is alone. Truly. No one is alone...People makes mistakes: mothers, fathers...People makes mistakes. Holding to their own. Thinking they are alone. Just remember...   
> (...) Someone is on you side. Someone else is not. No one is alone!"
> 
> This is poetry :) I was thinking about that song, definitively XD


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Space lovers starts to act like dummy desperate children... because reality is scary and they love each other too much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Sorry for keep you waiting so much for this chapter. And for the grammar as well. But I am finally able to say that we have reached the point I was aiming until the beginning. I hope you'll enjoy :) Let me know what you think if you please. I would be curious to know your opinion :) and thanks for reading

………………………………….

 

He couldn’t stomp himself. He had to touch her, to feel her skin… He didn’t want to think anymore. He knew that there was plenty of meeting to attend, and public declaration to do and probably a thousand other stuff that he was supposed to know in that right moment to take the right decision.

But Kylo was already tired of his duty as new supreme leader, and probably the reason was that he was too focused on other thoughts to really care about that. Rey was laying on his bed, moaning into his mouth while they were kissing, her round breasts were pressed against his chest under his weight, and he could already feel his erection aching into his tight trousers. He couldn’t care less about Hux and his expectations, because his arousal was growing at light speed. He was just a bit worried because of the way their first intimate encounter had ended.

To admit that he didn’t have much more experience than her in that matter hadn’t been easy for him in the first place. But now he was positively motivated to do his best to please her and remedy to his previous errors. Kissing Rey, feeling her under his body, was one of the best experiences of his whole life.

He didn’t expect her to let him touch her once more so soon. Instead, the girl seemed as eager as him to play once again that sweet new game of touching and being touched that they had just discovered. The sounds that she started to make when he brushed his fingers against her breasts, running his bare hands under her shirt, didn’t let space to any doubt. She liked being touched by him and Kylo was more than happy to accomplish her desire. Right now, he thought, it should have passed enough time from her little surgery to permit them to do it again.

He didn’t have to worry anymore because this time they would have been safe. She had just got a new implant, one with the best technology known at the moment, that would have also prevented them to develop any sort of disease in addition to prevent pregnancy. He already had in mind a couple of things to try with her to pleasure her. Something he had made research for since their first time, to know better how to put his hands on her.

Even if avoiding Hux’s angry gazes at him and at his holopad hadn’t been easy to bear during the whole day, Kylo had made a great amount of researches about how women’s body worked…. He also had to make a great effort not to chock the red head against the console of the meeting room when Hux made a grimace full of disgust, looking that Kylo’s olopad was open on a page named ‘clitoris, how to touch it properly to pleasure your woman’.

Pretending not to notice about Hux’s ridiculously sharp tone of voice when he started to speak of his plans, Kylo had continued to read until the end of the meeting, ignoring the cold gazes that the general kept to throw in his direction all the time. In the end, he had been able to find some informations that weren’t just some holoporn-thing or some chit-chat he once heard between the stormtropper, or - worst of all - some or his father’s questionable advices on the matter.

Kylo had also blamed at himself to not have tried before to find those informations. Of course, he knew how the human reproduction worked. Biology notions haven’t ever been a problem for him. But nobody had really ever talked with him about how to pleasure a woman with his body, and of course he hadn’t ever been interested in that subject before. Rey was looking at him with her beautiful hazel eyes and he felt his hearth sing in contentment.

After all, things couldn’t have gone in a better way for the two of them. They were together, and ready to discover more about themselves. He had promised to himself that he would have waited to ask for her hand before to indulge in cuddles and other intimate interactions with Rey… But, the flash is flash and, even if he hated this new kind of weakness, at the same time he loved to indulge in it too much… he was going to make love with her once again.

And so he kissed her deeply, slowly lowering his right hand towards her belly...She answered with a strangled sound that for a while let him a little confused. Was he forcing her too much? After all he could wait another while… Her green dress was about to arrive and he was eager to see her waring it, making her his legitimate wife and then indulge in the act of disrobing her, little by little, until her beautiful tanned skin would have been completely bare and at the mercy of his starved kisses.

“What are you doing?” she blamed at him, all at once, bringing him down from his reverie. He suddenly felt ashamed for his actions. His uncontrolled desire was making him act with a boldness that didn’t belong to him.

“I am sorry…” he said, ready to apologize to her, but then Rey was already on him. She pushed him aside and started to straddle upon his lap, so fiercely that Ben lost his breath. Then he looked at her in the eyes and he knew.

“Why are you making me wait so much?” she whimpered starting to kiss him on the neck, making him shudder in pleasure. For a while, Ben forgot even his name. There was just Rey with her mouth pressed against his neck, his jaw…Her light body felt so good pressed against him. She was shifting her hips ahead and backward, directly against his length, making his head feeling lighter and lighter. He grasped at her sides with both his hands to keep her even closer to him and couldn’t hold back the moan of pure bliss that escaped from his mouth.

When she saw her tossing aside her robes, he felt his hearth sing. Her chest was now completely bare and Kylo almost died at the sight of her rosy nipples. He couldn’t stop his lust. After a moment of hesitation in which his gaze met her eyes, he started to lick with his tongue at those little pecks of hers, just to find Rey moaning out loud too.

At that his throbbing erection ached once more against his trousers. He had to put them down. They both awkwardly try to adjust themselves to permit him to disrobe himself. Rey couldn’t stop to kiss him, trace some invisible lines across his chest, brushing her fingers against his scalp, while caressing his black hair. When they finally managed to be both naked, they were panting for the effort to kiss non-stop, their lips swollen and red. They parted for a while to regain their breath.

“Oh sweetheart I…” he started but Rey was already talking: “Please swear to me that you’ll always stay with me Ben” she asked all of a sudden. His puzzled mind fought to understand the meaning of her words for a while, his eyes to enraptured by the shape of her round forms, the balck curls at the apex of her tights were so inviting…If he closed his eyes he could already smell the faint scent that came from that little heaven…

Wait, what?

In the same moment he perceived the message, his hearth seemed to stop once again. She really asked him to stay with her forever? Did he hear well? So she really wanted to stay with him as much as him? Ben couldn’t be more happy about it. Until now, he didn’t knew for sure what her true feeling was…

Hearing Rey saying out loud that she was as desperate as him to be sure of never being left alone anymore was something that he hadn’t expect to happen so soon, but after all, they were sort of rushing into things, since the day that they murdered Snoke. Who was him to deny that to her, anyway? Ben looked at Rey with a better gaze now, just to find her eyes firm and a serious expression plastered on her beautiful face. She was asking him to promise her, and she was asking him seriously.

Her whole body now looked much more tense, and for a while he almost felt a wave of fear coming from her half of the bound, but it vanished as soon as he came. So Kylo swallowed for a couple of times, his black eyes staring at her with growing understanding. They remained silent for a while, simply staring at each other, until Rey made him the same question once again.

“Ben…Please…Promise me that we’ll never be apart from now on…” her eyes sparkling with fear and longing. He couldn’t have missed the solemnity of the moment even if he had wanted to.

She was obviously putting her thrust in him once again, but this time, she was the one asking him to promise. He get up from the mattress with the help of his elbows, then he kissed her fiercely on the mouth. “I promise” he whispered with his lips almost touching hers, but her eyes still looked suspicious.

“I promise” he repeated eagerly after another kiss, and another. And so she finally smiled at him and she closed the distance between their bodies hugging him strongly. The moment last for another minute or two, where the two of them remained silent, basking in the sensation of warmth that the other was giving him. Then they both felt their arousal hitting them back. She started to rub herself against his tight and after a moment in which he simply stayed still, closing his eyes to savor the friction, he finally decided to switch their positions and started to kiss her body everywhere. Rey layed down on the mattress, holding her breath, while he came back licking at her nipples, with his eyes burning with lust.

He played with his tongue with her little peacks, sucking and licking until he felt Rey’s impatience across their bound. she needed more friction, he knew now. When he looked for her little entrance, he felt himself dizzy at the sensation of wetness that he found there. But touching her fold with his bare fingers wasn’t already enough for him. He needed to pleasure her, for sure, he had made his research for this reason. But he also needed to discover more about her, to feel her in any possible way. And now Kylo new that there was a way he could follow to try to obtain these results with a single action.

He just hoped not to scare her… And so he brushed his fingers against her clit for a while. Hearing her little moans made his own sex throbbing in anticipation, but he wanted to focus on her this time. He wouldn’t have allowed his body to be so weak once again. Rey was obviously enojoying very much what he was doing, but she probably didn’t expect him what he did next because she almost squirmed from his grasp when she saw his head lowering between her legs. He raised his chin in her direction, looking at her face to find there her confusion and wild embarrass.

“Ben, what are you doing…?” she asked then with a weak voice.

“Please don’t be ashamed…I just want you to enjoy” he answered, and his hot breath made her already wet core shaking in anticipation.

“Please trust me” he added when she didn’t seem convinced and kept being tense, looking in his direction. Then Rey decided that she was going to let him do to her whatever he wanted…She was too curious and aroused to ask him to stop.

But when she felt the tip of his hot tongue brushing slightly at the entrance of her fold, she let out a loud moan that made her feel even more ashamed of herself. The pleasure was too much. She have never felt anything like that before and…wow… It was simply indescribable… Every nerve of her body started to sing at the same time, and she couldn’t avoid to raise her hips in the direction of Ben’s mouth. He seemed as eager as her to experiment that new form of pleasure, and that made Rey feel even more aroused.

His tongue was warm and felt so good against the sensitive spot just above her core… Rey started to see the stars in the same moment she felt him starting to insert a digit in her needy entrance. Differently from the previous time, the girl now perfectly new what came after, and she was deeply excited at the simple thought.

After a little more of Ben’s ministrations, an intoxicating pleasure started to blossom into her head and body until Rey felt a rush of pure pleasure hit at her core and brain. She lost herself in the sensation, comforted by the fact that Ben had promised her that they would have been together in the future, even if she perfectly knew that there would have been lot of difficulties. The reminder of her logic mind, still felt completely shocked about Luke’s revelation.

She desperately wanted to come back with the Resistance, but at the same time, she didn’t want to lose Ben Solo and what had just spring between the two of them. Rey knew that whatsoever promise he could have made to her, wouldn’t have count enough in front of the frightening reality. But her childish part still hoped to convince him to join her… She just needed to know him better and maybe… When a deep moan escaped from Ben’s mouth, in the same moment he pushed the tip of his sex into her wet and hot core, Rey knew that she was acting like a silly girl. When he pumped deeper inside of her, she knew that letting him bury himself into her body couldn’t be enough for him to let go all the power that surrounded them at the moment… She still didn’t know what Ben’s true feelings was towards her…

He asked her to join her, to rule the galaxy with him…But his interest was probably due to the fact that they were both strong in the force and, yes….they had that bound…a Bound that Snoke never created because it was still there even after his death… A bound that wanted them to stay together… And now there was also the pleasure, this intimate dance that provoked this surge of adrenaline in her whole body… He seemed to be caring about her… He made her a gift…

He looked at her with those eyes…. Rey couldn’t avoid to notice how deep those eyes seemed to look into her soul while he was pumping in and out of her core, his arms were trembling at the sides of her head and when she heard him moan too, she finally forgot about everything. There were just them, right now and nothing more. She didn’t know why but he wanted her, and so she could pretend, for a while, that it was forever. He never promised her to love her, but in fact it was what he was doing, making love with her… and for Rey that was enough. …………………………………………..

The Resistance’s fleet had just realized that the Millennium Falcon wasn’t anymore on the sight that Poe Dameron was informed of a terrible news. Leia’s conditions were getting worst. It seemed that somehow, her brother’s presence had managed to help her not to fade so quickly during the previous hours, but now that he seemed vanished with the Falcon, her energy had vanished too.

The joung general already knew that Leia’s conditions were precarious, but since Luke had arrived he had secretly feed his hope that maybe, with the a far more advanced technology, the Resistance would have granted to its former leader a few more time to spend with her people. But after some other dark hours of hope and agony, Poe Dameron had to accept the unbidden reality: Leia Organa was gone. ……………………………………………………

Their intercourse had already finished. This time he was a little proud of himself because he knew that he had given her much more pleasure than the time before, but more than that he was happy for the fact that she was the one to ask him to always stay at her side. Ben didn’t even realized that he had fallen asleep. But after the dinner, the wine and their making love, he should have been overwhelmed.

As if it hadn’t been enough, he was dreaming of her, still basking in the memory of being buried into her sweet core… It was a wonderful place to spend his time, between her legs, near to her hearth, like any other man had ever been allowed to be before. Her sun kissed skin made him feel dizzy and silly and he felt lighter and…. Kylo didn’t knew when the dream faded precisely, but all of a sudden it was like all of his happiness, all of the warmth, had been taken away from him, just to be replaced by coldness and grief and…

No! No! It can’t be! But… It wasn’t a nightmare. Kylo Ren woke up in a quick move, his forehead was already full of cold sweat and his whole body was shaking vigorously from top to bottom. A rush of pure panic caught his already erratic mind. “No…it can’t be…” he whispered in the darkness of his bedroom. He didn’t felt the tears coming, until he found his cheeks soaked.

How could he be so blind? He should have known since the beginning… His hunted eyes glanced around the room in confusion, roaming against the shapes of the unadorned furniture, until he found Rey’s body at his right side. She was still blissfully sleeping, completely unaware of his inner turmoil. In that moment Kylo felt almost relieved at the thought and his hearth started to slow a bit.

Her simple presence was able to reassure him like anything else could. He tried to steady his breath closing his eyes for a moment, to concentrate better on what the force was telling him. He didn’t have dreamed about it, he was sure. The fading energy that used to bound him with his mother was truly gone right now. And this time it was forever.

The force didn’t lie. How could he be so blind not to notice that she had always been there before, even when he believed that she was dead? Now that her light had truly abandoned this world letting a deep hole into his soul, he knew that he should have known since the beginning.

He had been so naïve, thinking that sweet sensation he still felt near to his hearth was not more than a simple memory of the past. Instead, she had always been out there. Still bounded to him. Until now. His mother had been alive until a few moments before. Kylo couldn’t even breathe right now.

Leia Organa was truly, definitively gone and his son didn’t know what to do to hold back his desperation… He started to cry for the second time in a few days, motivated to discover more about the sort of the Resistance and the possibility that even other members had survived at the attack of the Raddus. What if they were still alive? He urged to look at Rey’s sleeping expression and a deep panic caught his already tormented soul.

What if she discovered about that and chose to leave him? he had to find answers and quickly, he couldn’t let her know about that…Not yet… Not until he would have been sure that they were all truly dead.

…………………………………………

Kylo Ren never come back to sleep that night the hours before the down seemed endless. He would have wanted to rush, to ask at his subordinate to made some research, screaming and scaring the to death, but he didn’t want to let her alone when she woke up.

He could have easily made his requests sending a coded email using his olopad, and so he did, fighting not to wake her up with his nervousness, trying his best to keep her out of his soul and mind and keeping his walls higher than ever. It seemed to work because when Rey finally decided to open her eyes, her beautiful face greeted him with a kind smile that made him smile back at her despite his inner dismay.

“Ehi…” she said, her voice a little raspy and sleepy “Goodmorning”.

“Goodmorning sweethearth”

……………………………………………………………..

Kylo Ren came back to his quarters with a mournful expression on his face. “Ben! So… What was so urgent to require your presence all of a sudden?” Rey asked immediately getting up from the chair of the little living room with one smooth movement. The knight of Ren sighed heavily meanwhile the door at his back was closing with a loud hiss. His hunted eyes locked with hers in the same moment he heard her voice coming from the right side of the room.

He swallowed hard a couple of times and reached for her hand, hoping once more that she was not going to notice the change of his signature in the force. Was she mad at him to have left her alone after, yeah, after what they did, so suddenly? He had done his best to act normally after she woke up in the morning, but his discomfort had been to evident, so he had to invent some excuse to run away from her before she could notice that there was something wrong.

He tried a quick touch to her mind. But nothing, the only emotion he felt in her head was confusion and tension, but that was easy to guess just looking at her face. He exhaled sharply before to take in a new breath. Their bound was pretty useful to know each other feelings, but with thoughts it was different. It was also a dangerous weapon in similar circumstances, when he had to struggle so hard to hide a very unpleasant truth. Would she have noticed if he had decided to openly lie to her? Was it a bad idea, considering the intimacy they had just shared? Kylo Ren already knew the answer to that question.

Yes, of course it was a bad idea. But this absolutely didn’t mean he was so naïve to think that telling her the truth would be a much better idea either. Knowing about the fact that the resistance was still there, somewhere in the depth of the space, would have meant to lose her in that same moment. Kylo was sure about it. Because the only reason why she had chosen to stay with him was the conviction that all of her friends were died.

During the last few hours he had hoped with all of his hearth that he was wrong. That maybe it was just his mother…the only survivor and, probably not even so lucky considering that, in the end, she was dead too… But of course thing couldn’t have been so smooth. Because the resistance was still alive, he had evidence about that.

And so, Kylo knew he had to take a decision about it. And that decision, while he was walking through the corridors towards his quarters, had already been made. Suddenly he noticed that Rey was about to look at the reports on his olopad, when he arrived, the ones he had spoken about to her less than a few hours before, a lifetime before, just to have an excuse to make her believed that he deserved her trust. When he had still hope that he could have been wrong about what frightened him the most. But now he knew, the reality was scary. He had been such a fool thinking that his happiness would have last.

Because Kylo knew even too well that he didn’t deserve that happiness. He was a monster after all, a selfish, raw creature of the darkness, the same he had always been. He knew that Rey would have deserved someone far much better than him, someone that wouldn’t have to lied to her about anything. Maybe he could tell her… He was still in time…Yes… Maybe… he thought. But when he met those big hazel eyes of hers, so full of joy, Ben felt the butterflies forming in the pity of his stomach and a sudden realization hit him at his core. He was in love with her. Yes. He really, truly loved her.

And that was the reason why he couldn’t lose her, even if that would have meant to betray her. No, he couldn’t really tell her about the resistance. Because he was a selfish creature, after all, desperate to be loved, to be touched. A desperate soul that couldn’t have been able to go on without her by his side now that he finally knew what not being alone really meant. He needed her. Desperately. He would have done anything, anything to be with her forever and a day.

Suddenly Kylo realized that he was staring at Rey with his face expressionless. “Ben?” she murmured his name with a hint of worry into her sweet voice. “It took you a lot” she said. A little shadow of red was still coloring her beautiful cheeks while she spoke. She seemed still embarrassed to look at him even if right now they were both full dressed and aware of themselves. For a while he lost the train of his thoughts and looked into Rey’s eyes.

Leaving the tide of his sad thoughts, for a brief moment he seemed to notice a veil of grief into those iris, but suddenly her expression warmed and her smile widened and so he found himself biting at his lower lip in adoration. His cock throbbing into his trousers at the memory of her round and soft shapes under his touch. His mind already looking forward for her body heat. Yes. Definitively, he was a despicable selfish animal.

“Ben?” Rey demanded for the second time, bringing him definitively down from his reverie. A shade of concern was coloring the tone of her voice. Then he saw her shifting slightly her weight from a leg to the other, in what appeared like a sort of attempt to keep her frustration at bay. So he finally came back to reality and the precariousness of his current situation hit him like a punch in the gut. He had to stay focused. He can’t let his instinct get the better of him. Right now he had to find a solution for his problem.

Hiding the presence of the Resistance to Rey wasn’t going to be so easy, for sure. In the moment he had promised her she was supposed to rule the galaxy by his side he didn’t knew about them. And so, hiding their presence to her, it would have meant a lot of other lies and omissions in the future.

Did he really wanted to start his relation with that girl like a serial liar? He looked at her beautiful face another time and even this time the answer he gave to himself was yes. Because he needed her more than the air he was breathing. He needed her as if she was a missing limb, or a missing part of himself.

Suddenly, a flash of memory from his childhood hit him all at once when he realized that this kind of behavior was dangerously similar to the one his father had had for the great part of his young life in the relation with his mother. Ben had always been aware of the great amount of lies and omissions that his father was guilty of, and he had always hated the disappointment that inevitably followed that kind of behavior when the truth came obviously out. Was he really going to act in that same way towards the woman he loved? Do that would have bring them to the same result of their parents? Ben’s mind was spinning.

Confusion reigned. But he had to decide what to say once and for all. “As I imagined” he started “that brat of Hux bothered me for a stupid reason. Never mind. I am just sorry I have left you here so quickly” he answered vaguely, give her a hint of a smile and the first of a probably great amount of lies that would have followed. Because the truth was that he had to run away not to betray his true emotions, desperately trying to hide his shock and grief when he woke up with the true awareness that his mother had been alive all of that time just to die when he wasn’t thinking about her anymore.

Then he had to know how was it possible. The realization that the whole Resistance could have been still there had hit his brain like a jolt. And then, after a few hours where he asked to some of his subordinates to do some super secret researches for him, he had finally got his so dreaded answer. It wasn’t a mistake.

The force didn’t lie to him. they where still alive. The technology they had developed was still able to track them somehow, and it seemed that the fleet had also surprisingly improved with a new amount of soldiers and fighters that had joined their cause. Someone that answered at the name of Lando Carrissian, had helped them out just in time. The probes that had been placed in the nearness of Crait had provided the evidence of their escape. Somehow, when the Raddus had been hit their cannons, the fleet was already gone and that damn ship had been empty all the time. Just smoke and mirrors. He should have guessed so.

Ben just hoped that Hux didn’t know already about them, but considering that the read head was as smart as a fox, it occurred to him that he probably already knew. He had probably kept that information for himself, hoping to use it against him sooner of later. He had just announced to the whole galaxy that the Resistance had been destroyed…How could he handle with this right now? He should have find them before the new could spread all over the galaxy or his credibility as Supreme Leader of the first order was going to fall down all of a sudden. The young man sighed heavily.

Another preoccupation to face in another moment… Now he was far more worried about the implication that all of these things would have had about him and Rey. Could she feel his distress thanks to the force? Ben looked one more time at her face and yes, it was obvious that she had perceived his anguish. Fortunately, she didn’t seem to know how to properly read into his mind now that he was shielding it so strongly not to let her know.

So the only issue she could have about the real reason of his weird behavior, were mere scarps of his mixed up emotions.

“Have you read the reports?” he asked then gazing at the olopad she still have got in her hands trying to sound as much calm as possible.

“Oh yes” she answered a little dizzy “I didn’t know you were planning so many changes…I didn’t even knew about the situation of Correllia and many other planets mentioned in that schedule…I mean…Their situations looks very much like the one present on Jakku” she explained, her eyes now glowing and radiant of passion and interest.

“Yeah…I suppose it is” he answered dryly with a tired voice. “It’s a great thing…You know…To be able to verify all those things thanks to the help of this technology. I have never seen something at the vanguard like this web something you just show me… This way we could help so many people and…Ben? Are you even listening?” and suddenly Rey’s enraptured expression changed into a frown. She looked better at him and for a brief moment her breath stopped.

“Ehi? Is there something wrong? I wanna know” but she hadn’t finished yet that he was already shaking his head strongly. “No, that’s nothing. I was just wondering…” he said and then he swallowed hard never losing the contact with her eyes. “…Would you like to lay a moment near me? Please…” he asked then pointing at the mattress, and his voice came out so sweet, so pleading that Rey felt her hearth melting. She gave another quick look at his face, than at the bed near them and she answered “Sure” her voice reassuring him somehow. Rey hadn’t decided yet how to handle regard the whole situation. She had been really pleased when he brought her to see the ship and he gave her the first notions about the situation of the galaxy.

More over, the olopad that he have her had access to a databank so wide that it was like an infinite spring of informations super updated about everything. It probably cost him a lot to put such powerful tool into her hands. But despite that great act of trust by Ben’s side, Rey wasn’t sill sure she could trust him back at the point to let him know about the Resistance. She was feeling really bad about keeping it secret from him because it didn’t sound right to omit that information. But a part of her feared the moment he would have may knew the truth.

At the same time she also had a deep longing for him. Ben’s touch had reached for her soul. The way he addressed her as his ‘sweetheart’, the way his eyes looked at her while they were melting together into one being… She knew she was doing a mistake allowing him to touch her that way before knowing what he would have done about the Resistance. When he hugged her from behind while they layed down on his bed, her body was already betraying her. “I am sorry sweetheart…” he said then, his arms still around her protectively.

“For everything…Please…forgive me” then he nuzzled into her brown hair and Rey felt her whole body shiver and became limp. She wasn’t strong enough to resist to the pull of the force towards him. Even this time, it was so right. So damn right. She turned towards him to face him directly. He greeted her with his big dark eyes and even this time everything was forgotten. The war, the Resistance, the first order.

Nothing around them seem to be so important when she was into Ben’s arms. She didn’t knew what he was apologizing for. Maybe was it because he left her alone when he had promised that they could have shared much of his time… but she didn’t really care. One last thought brushed at the edge of her mind.

Maybe this would have been a good way to convince him. If he was as desperate as her to not let go what they had just discovered staying together… maybe…Maybe he would have come with her or maybe he would have put aside his hatred to allow the rebels to stand up and be spared. But all those thought she had in mind were suddenly replaced as soon as Ben Solo started to lick at her mouth with his tongue demanding access.

She lost herself into his embrace and one more time Rey decided to let herself go….

Continua...


End file.
